This is how it has felt off and on since Sunday.

Feeling the blues.

 

The last two weeks in particular here in Danny world have included  so many different situations and events occurring at the same time. Some great and 1 not so great. It’s life, right?

We as people have one very strong component know as emotions.

What are emotions and where are they from?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hot-thought/201004/what-are-emotions

Keeping an eye on your emotions and getting to know when you are taxes enough so you can stop your emotions from getting out of control is so important. During the blog writing on Sunday, as I read it again on Monday I could see the chaos and confusion that my emotions were sending out.

My mom used to say that she at times was physically, psychologically, and emotionally exhausted. My mom was a powerhouse. She too felt the strain of life.

Well, I now  understand after 52 years what she meant.

The one thing about recognizing a new dimension in your emotional world is that after a day or so you realize you have survived it. It was a crappy place to visit and when you have a low like that I think we need to figure out what caused it. Sunday , when I woke up I was off somehow. Something seemed misaligned. The upbeat demeanour was not there but a since of blaah.

All day Sunday, I kept on trying to readjust my mindset and it was to no avail. It was just hanging with me. I guess I am now aware of what being totally blue is like. I have never experienced that before ever in my life.

There are parts of me that cancer has for ever changed. I think very differently. I face death will almost a ridiculous since of humor. I see optimistically and at the same time mourn in silence about a life lost. The death of my dream you could call it. I guess.

You know, Back three years ago as the darn cancer moved in from no where and began to kill me, the peace and strength that arrived and aided me was directly from God.

I remember saying to Father R., I will be the best handicapped witness to God that I could be. I was so brave I guess you could call it.

Well, the bus left the station and today my thought would be this. What is the measure of this man? ( me )What have I accomplished?  I knew where I wanted to go to help people and to do it for God’s Glory. Regardless to how I feel in this moment God is responsible for the good.  Life and my decisions are responsible for the rest.

So, today is a better day then Sunday,a little better than Monday. A song is bouncing around my head right now AS i am writing so here it is.

Casting Crowns – Thrive (Official Lyric Video)

Blessing’s Danny