Tags
Angels, cancer, caring supporting, children, depresson, faith, family, forgiveness, frienship, generosity, Gleo Blastoma, god, good shepherd, healing, Holy Spirit, hope, humor, Jesus Christ, laughter, life, love, Marine, miracle, Miracles, Mom, motivational speaker/writer, obligation, Our Lord and Savior, peace, prayers, Protect life, rely, Roman Catholic, Special Needs, Stop Smoking, survivor, trust, wisdom, worship
I was in morning prayer today and working on my Lenten journey.
During my prayer I use a visual in my mind as a way of taking this journey.
In everyone one of us there is a deep expanse of places that we have yet to see, feel and understand. Things that are hardwired into us and things that are learned that are tought by our parents and others during our upbringing. These things effect us in ways that we often don’t realize. I think that these are the things that steer us at times emotionally and we will say I don’t know why I feel this or say that. It can also cause us to do a particular action. ? But we did and it and it is our truth.
I guess what I am trying to find is my core, I think that God has created a masterpiece in us all. A body that is powerful yet weak, a mind that is capable of huge things and handles bodily,communication, reasoning and life processes daily yet the cells can die and leave us helpless.
I have always sought myself out. Even as a child sitting on my back stoop. I worked mega hours while in high school and college. I was a commuter student. I remember coming down whenever I woke up from sleep it was crazy hours during the day when I worked all night and had school in the mornings. I would come down late afternoon my body tingling from exhaustion and sit on the back stairs in the sun just looking , feeling, and smelling useing my senses. These moments I would travel deep inside of myself trying to find me. Was I in the right place ? Was my path going the right way?
I think my biggest fear in my life is and always has been that I will not be or fulfill what God called me too before my birth. I know that he knows my heart and my faults so I believe that he loves me. But, I do not want to settle for a half lived life.
Life to me is not my next trip, my new car etc. My life especially since cancer has been how can I help others more? How do I effect a change while I am here. How can I inspire others to see how much God loves them without seeming preechy?
Well, when I pray and meditate on myself I try to let the Holy Spirit just guide me to where I need to be.I picture myself like a diver who is going deeper in an ocean in search of something yet to be found. It may sound strange but it works for me.
The deeper you get into the ocean the darker it gets but when you have a light and turn it on you can see the beauty. There is healing there.There is self awareness there and you see opportunities that you thought did not exist.
It’s funny, back a while ago on this blog I was led by God and the Holy Spirit to an amazing women who took what I have done for a long time in my prayer life to a physical experience.
I lived vicariously through her and she inspired me. I felt like I was in that chair seeing, touching and feeling. I was alive.
So, as part of my Lenten journey I will share it once again.
May it inspire you. 🙂
Sue Austin Deep Sea Diving
God Bless You,
Danny
Just Danny Speaks 