One observation that I would like to focus on today is that  it never ceases to amaze me of how no matter what a human being is experiencing in this life we are  in most cases still able to smile and see the joy in this life. Gods amazing gift to us all!

Whenever I go to Dana Farber for my appointments I walk through the crowd of patients many whom are very ill. But, they always respond to my conversation with a smile and converse with me about things like weather, wait time etc. They aren’t negative or acting depressed. Being a cancer patient or any person suffering from any illness, I have found are grateful to be in the moment that we are in because Life is a beautiful thing. We come to accept our plights because that is what we need to do. It’s the healthy option. For instance when I was dianosed with terminal cancer three years ago, I needed to choose how I would live this diagnosis. I do not want to ruin my families life with drama and dread. I thought about the serenity prayer today as I went out for one item bananas 🙂 lol. I needed them! 🙂  And at both stores I parked  and walked all the way into find that they were fresh out of them. I was pooped by the time I found a package with 3 bananas  inside, victory! 🙂

Then I stood in the express line for 20 minutes to buy 3 pretty ripe bananas . Omg . I came home and had to climb the staircase from the garage to the main floor of my home. I made it and plopped down onto my docking station. lol

I had a bumpy day emotionally on Thursday I had a lot of alone time so I had myself a little pitty party. As good as I feel or as optimistic as I generally am.

I still say , I cannot believe this is my life.

God is our one constant he is with us!!!

I spoke to all my siblings yesterday at one point or the other and dumped out a lot of my personal thoughts. I had worked on yesterday’s blog for a few,days before actually posting it. I was personally drained from the feelings and emotions that went with that phone conversation.

BY the way if you could say a prayer for J today she has another infusion  which maker her feel even sicker.

Also, Please Pray for Paul my friend who is meeting today for his scan results he is battling pancreatic cancer. He is an awesome man of God. Amen.

One of the things I told my family last night was this,

Yes, I am grateful to be alive in this moment. I am currently a Miracle , but it is not always easy being a Miracle.

I am a different me all together to what I was. In some cases I am the better for the cancer in others I am not.

I think that it is another stage of acceptance that I am now aware of. A new threshold of understanding . I look in the mirror and have a different understanding of what I am. I look okay but my body still does not operate properly. It’s like my mind is trapped in my body.

I will work through this in time. I need to allow this process of acceptance to work its way through me naturally. The way God wants us to. We need to hand our worries, pains and suffering off to God and allow him to strengthen us.

The final piece that has effected me is that I know of at least three young people of families I know who are dealing with their children’s suicides. Beautiful family, beautiful kids. I have found it so sad. I need to pray on this subject and write.

I have not heard this song for years but it is beautiful. GOD is always with us even in the darkness of times

I again, I needed to be honest as I sit here and say I just cannot imagine a life without God, Faith and fellowship with others.

God Bless You. And have a beautiful weekend. For any young ones making their First Holy Communion. God Bless You.

Danny