.This week has been one that encompassed so many different situations and emotions.

I attended my Aunt / Godmothers funeral on Monday and Jeanne fought a very difficult battle with lung cancer. It was sad. The mass of her life celebration aka funeralwas beautiful. I felt very badly for my uncle who is now without the love of his life after over 59 years so I know this road alone for him will be difficult.

I also released all of the in home care that I was receiving. The nurses and PT from partners health care were great but, I just wanted to get back to my regular physical therapist and the equipment that they had for me t use. I did not have equipment necessary for my in home use. So, I was discharged on Monday afternoon and saw my regular PT on Tuesday. I was so pleased to be back in to a familiar location with a friend and Therapist that knew me from day 1.i

 

Tuesday was also a beautiful life event for my wife and I .There was a surprise 30 Anniversay party  thrown in our home by one of our best family friends couples and our children. We had no idea and it was such a beautiful evening.so, again a beautiful moment that needs to be amplified and is one of the moments that makes joy permeate the battle with cancer.

My physical therapist Matt

just said upon seeing me how badly he felt that I was in this position once again. He knows how hard it was to get to where I am . Matt said that he could not believe how good I looked. He actually said that I looked better than the last time he saw me which is when my insurer refused my request for continued service. Back in the Fall of 2015 .I had apparently hit my contract limit. With the reoccurrence of cancer, my surgery and treatment I was able to get more services to combat this episode of treatment for my left side weakness so believe it or not I look at it as a positive thing. God knows how much further I can get with the proper assistance. 👍😀

I was honest with Matt and just said Matt, I am grateful to still be here and don’t want to complain but I am sick of it. After 4plus years of this roller coaster of a life I am tired  of cancer and my quality of life. Again, I am thankful to be alive. I feel very badly for my wife, my children, my dad and my siblings and my friends too all of their daily lives revolve around me and my cancer narrative. I realize that I could not avoid this disease but I still feel badly. In the last month I have had a little more difficulty remaining positive all of the time. I pray a lot and rely on God and my family daily to stay in a place where tomorrow exists.People can sense my struggle I hear it all the time. That I need to be positive. Again, this blog needs to be real it needs to help others on the same journey as myself if not then it is a wasted for time and energy . I want people as they read if they are in the same boat as currently am that they are not alone in their feelings and that its okay. We are not hopeless we are to remain hopeful. Especially for those that we love.

 

This is past week has been very busy for me socially which was very nice. I wanted to get out and because I had plans I did not want to cancel no matter how tired I was I am sick of saying no,

So, Friday night my son brought Janet and I to IMAX reading to see this movie,

 

we we took Dan to dinner afterward to catch up it was really nice. Those moments in this life are the most important medicine to me and the human experience it’s about love, it is about connection.

it was good.

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeC5eyeW8XU

 

Saturday friends came down from Peterborough NH and we went to dinner at a local restaurant after the 4:00 mass.

Sundays plans kept changing and we Janet and I ended up attending a college graduation forgraduation party for a wonderful young man who i. consider to be family. I truly feel like his surrogate father . He is a great young man we even sponsored  sponsored him for his Cursillo retreat in Methuen Ma at Saint Basils.

 

We we were so thrilled to see him move towards his goals.

This upcoming week is a big one Wednesday I have my next scan to see what cancer may remain in my brain after surgery and treatment. I remain cautiously optomistic  but will have to see what is found on Wednesday.i also need to see what else might be available in the war chest. I know radiation is done forever in my head so that is no longer something available to me. I am simply giving it to God. No matter what happens Wednesday it does not change the reality of my God in my life. He has me from here to eternity. . I just do not want my family having to deal with everything. I know what Glio looks like in the end and am not relishing the idea of my family having to see it so personally.

 

So, I will be blogging on the result on Wednsday or Thursday of this week.

Have a wonderful week. God bless you all. Please say a prayer for me as well.

with much love,

 

Danny