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This blog is going to contain information of Janet and i’s second son that we had named Brad Michael. He was a beautiful little baby that we had been-found to have an issue with his heart this was almost 28 years ago and the technology of that day suggested that it would be corrected through surgery etc. Brad was totally safe and protected through my wife. He grew normally in the womb and had all that he needed safety oxygen and love An infant gets its oxygen in utero  through what’s know as a PDA valve. Brad was over 8′ ponds at birth nice and pink because of his mothers great care with blond hair and pretty blue eyes. He was adorable. Once your child is born or delivered they then need to be able to use their own heart and lungto continue their journey.

We had a huge number of Dr’s with in the O.R. From Bostons Children’s Hospital with us  us as Brad-greeted the world. was born the team in the O.R. was on the job working with him  we had found out how he was presenting  physically. there. Brads condition,was far worse than originally thought Janet was sent home on bed rest for 6 monthsuntil such time as Brad was ready based on an amneo  sentesus which checks the fluid for the baby’s lung development.With DJ being around 3 and needing care etca a nd my having to hto work . Going home to Belmont was not an option Janet was put onto bed rest Hense she too could not take of him etc. with no outings and limited bath runs for his protection. fter Brads birth the Children’s team that was  was in the O. R.on him right away checking his vitals and trying to evaluate him . It was determined that it was worse that what they had first thought through the earlier Ultra sound.After his next ultra sound after birth on his own anatomy looked showed a much more grim  scenario. My parents being as here family and friends and siblings jumped in and helped to dismantle DJsbedroom at our apartment in Belmont so his belonging s were brought to my parents house as was his art work,from his walls his stuffed animal hammock. 😜Lolso cute! They were big back in the day❗️Kids loved them, parents vacuumed them .

My dad after working 3 jobs over the years when necessary to provide with my mom for their families needs had just prepared their home with new paint etc. We arrived to their / our family home their living room was totally emptied and their were two new beds there with a dresser forerunner  use too. I went up stairs and saw DJ.new bedroom. All of his furniture, everything that was home to him in Belmont and my parents elation to be of service to their family. My dadand my mom  would be up with DJ in the kitchen early as I was ready to go off to work eating breakfast with hi. My siblings ,their children were around to play with him and pass time. My mom was home at lunch to help them wand also to set up adinner plans for the entire family whom ever was there toenjoy.including . We had not one issues, while we were there. And moved back to our apartment the day after Brads funeral. We then welcomed Our daughter Stacy home and moved to our first home in Wakefield and again were Bleesed with our second daughter Rebecca child healthy and finally Rachael joined our family healthy , happy and beautiful. All of these loving life events have given me such peace in this ultimate moment of my life. A sense of hope, faith and deep rooted security. I know that if and when my family were ever presented with such a situation. We would rise to the need and do the same thing. Faith, family,friends and  love always.BTW, 28 years ago the word abortion was offered to us as well. Janet I would not have even thought of it personally. We just believe whole hart idly that life is from God alone. It’s his election to infuse life and his election call us home in his time. If we had said yes to an abortion 28 years ago I feel that life would not be the same here in our home his loss was devestting to all 3 living generations of that time and helped Janet at I to find our way back to God where we grew in faith, lost or anger and were blessed with more healthy beautiful. That we were told could be dangerous because of what happened with Brad not that it was in the history or they we genetically disposed but by the fact that it had happened.

 

from the first ultra sound revealed a condition know as single right ventricle with pulminary stenosis. The odds of a positive outcome ever with surgeries back the We were told originally after the 1st ultra sound that there was an 85percent chance and now it was much more serious and the fight was on praying my entire family and many friends crying and supporting us through each day, each breath, su

We were rushed through the tunnel from Brighams and Women’s to the Bostons Children’s Hospital. My mom was with me and Janet could not come she had a cesarean section scheduled so as not to stress Brads body/ heart with delivery again the Dr’s recommendation. We loved Childrens s as well they were wonderful professional and kind even during a very high stress and emotionally charged time for us.This song that I have selected I truly love the words and the Miracle of children especially with Christmas this weekend where Jesus was born to save man kind from sin is so appropriateMary said yes to God and his angel to give birth to a child which was very dangerous in her time whereas she was unwed. She told God your will be done. and Joseph a Sheppard that she was betrothed to protected her and believe Gods angel about the fact that Mary had been foreshadowed by the Holy Spirit to have this child. The working Mary did you know the one you deliver will soon deliver you I find absolutely poetic. That’s what Brad did to Janet and I his death at a young age was so stinging that it jolted us to the core. We had to begin again to find peace, joy and happiness.

As, a matter of fact we had our little guy D.J who I have described in my earlier writing who was very creative very wide eyed, smart and witty with the biggest brown eyes you would see is was 100 percent active boy people though he  might have AD.D. He  didn’t I would call it ants in his pants I guess lol.

This song is a song that Janet and I heard about 10 or so years ago that made us love Natalie Grant so much. The word about being held and how could this happen to those who loose their children resonated so deeply. I thought of this today and added this song in hopes that it may touch your hearts as well. Whether it’s a baby a miscarriage or adult child it is a real loss.

 

Natalie Grant Held. God is holding us that is how we are making it moment by moment, day by day, month by month and year by year. We come to celebrate their lives in time because they were our gifts and have changed who we are today.

❤️,

 

just danny and family. Live from my home away from home.

 

 

 

 

This again is the song popular back in the day that my son age almost 3 sang that caused my wife to climb into the back of car to hug.

 

 

Here

 

Dans love and creative mind has given us joy beyond belief. He started college slowly and then hit is own stride and his own dream in his heart. He attended BU for his animation studies on his own dime this time and excelled he has been happily employed by a wonderful company for over the past years he does private works of art for clients whatever they may desire. Digital portraits and has worked directly with studios fashion models and independent brands of clothing and foot apparel makers. He is here right nowworking to help we have a guest coming today and the house needed to be spiffed up❤️❌⭕️ The house traffic is slowing down but we have a VIP coming out I will explain in my next writing let me just say again that I am a spoiled and Blessed man.

 

My my next writing will be called escape from Hosice  house. lol I told you I am a brat!

what Brads passing at such a young age-taught me personally was just how connected I was with my son that I held only seconds after birth and death. It was not about the baby in my car, the baby that I fed or the baby getting his first bath , haircut laugh or word. It was the Miracle of his birth and our instinctive Love fro God himself. I have honestly over the years have said I wonder what he would have been like or who. I have always taken comfort because of my faith that I would someday be with him in my fullness as he will be in his as well. Brads birth and young death as tragic as it was brought Janet and I to where we needed to be todayTo deal with our current situation. Our children also feel very connected to their brother which is helping them as well.

God Bless you all Merry Christmas to everyone Amen

 

As, I always say. Sometimes we do not get the Miracle that we want …. Brad healed and here with us. I always say if we do not get the Miracle then we need be the Miracle Brad was that Miracleto us the strength faith and wisdom we required of the many years of coming to this day has been a Miracle to us we openly acknowledge this fact plus over the years we could try to help others through their same loss. Hopefully my blog might be a little Miracle in an area of your life if we have traveled a similar road. God Bless you all.

 

just Danny and family🎅🎅🎅🙏🙏🙏🌲🌲❌⭕️❤️❤️❤️❤️

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQM2rszMAfY

Hello, As a follow up to yesterday’s blog post.

 

My my hospice journey began over 2 weeks ago after being told that my tumor(number  3) was very bad and that treatment options for me were exhausted. No more, chemo,no more radiation and no more more treatment. surgery.

My Dr. Dr.David Reardon, is to me one of the most beautiful Dr’s that I have met. He and his staff are second to none in my care at Dana Farber. He stated 2 more things that really touched my heart Dan you have a special soul and personality you have helped so many other patients of mine even in the waiting roo. He said your blog is helping so many and we all read every word. That’s when I cried I said Dr. That’s all I ever wanted to hear. That I was helping someone else. He said finally Dan, we will never allow you to feel pain and explained end of life Glio as needing more and more rest until you simply spleep without waking.

It was a transformative yet, comforting conversation. Delivered by a special man in the front line fighting a horrible cancer with a very high mortality rate. Yet, everyday he gets up and goes to battle in order to fight it bonding and loving the next patient and family with a fresh new hope and vigor. Now, that’s God in action! That’s a Miracle.

Back to 101 now.

In home hospice began right away. It’s not a jolting experience in any way except for the emotions on the family friends and patients over their new scenario. Hospice is not a topic that invokes a sense of joy.it is once that often involves fear which is totally understandable.i have been at peace with my personal situation and diagnosis since my original diagnosis back. In March 2012. TheyHospice staff who comes to my home each one has been an angels, the social worker who has come as welł has been very helpful helping us to plan a transitional plan to outpatient full time treatment for when we need to move into a full time Hospice center that is my desire. My family just wanted me here to take care of me but I want them to be together and not response for my personal needs. In the hospice center that I have selected. It allows me to be taken care of by staff and my families needs will be taken care of as well. Hospice can provide help without pressure to help guide you through a very emotional time one such as this that no one can truly prepare you for. The hospice staff is lovelythey are a peaceful group . So they are never an issue. They made suggestions on what I can do to insure my safety while I am here. They are about supporting their family and patient from any more harm. I love who they area do what their lives mission is all about. It’s Jesus in action serving. My personal care assistant is a dad of 4 children who migrated fro Haiti years ago for a better life and was trained over 20 years ago. His kindness,and quiet faith brings our eyes to tears. Everyone even my dad met him today and though he was great.

The nurse, my personal care assistant who safely helps me bath with such an easy, professional and safe manner. Hospice is love, service and

Hospice from my/ our personal perspectivesin this home  is phones, doorbells lots of family and friends in and out texts, emails of loving support cards and gives of food etc. peoples love on full display. So, it’s like a warm blanket. My children have fought to keep the flow down to have every second to just be a family. I tell them I understand and paramiters were set to short visits that did not take time from us personally. I also explained to them that we do not know when God will call I have already been here far longer than conventional wisdom would have said. I did not go out for milk and never come home again. I wrote on my blog recently that we never feel like it’s enough one last, one more  Ilove you, one my hug. One more kiss” it’s human nature saying bye is a very painful thing for those who are left behind. I like you all have felt this as well.

 

The he bottom line is that I tell them that Gods got them and I intend to watch over them. People asked me to come and give signs that I am around. I tell that I cannot guarantee anything I am not leaving to join a magic show or to become a ghost. My faith tells me about an eternal reward of Heaven where Weare restored on the day all tears will be wiped away. That’s what I believe. God knows what can or cannot be done beyond that he is still the God of the universe not me. So, again honesty is always the best policy I only speak what I think based on my own personal journey I think this blog has rolled on like people say with a tough topic and made it a little more understandable that is my prayer. God bless you all. Always, Danny

Yes, no one wants to die, I get that too especially when your life is overwhelmed by love. That’s my case I am a spoiled man with a large family, including my 4 children, wife, siblings, friends from all areas of my/ our lives and a 2 very strong faith based groups. One based out of my home Parish of St. Joseph in Wakefielld. Ma and the retreat house in Methuen that we have been envovled with for many Years known as St. Basils . It is a very Holy retreat home.

As, I laid in bed early this morning and looked at our Christmas tree in the living room the lights were still on. My wife loves the lights of Christmas the candles, and her pellet stove running. She cooks and bakes non stop for everyone. She is truly like Martha from the bible serving everyone. She always been that way . This Christmas with my situation has made it very difficult for she and my kids especially my dad I worry about also. He is older almost 89 to be exact and he is very active he lost my mom after being with her dating and married for over 60 years so seeing me here and being like this is really making him sad. I/ Janet lost my second son Brad to heart disease almost 28 years ago and that loss is still felt. More about love and what Brad taught me after his passing. I will write about this very soon separately. If God revealed it through our journey then we will all learn from the lessons. We are all connected and live lives where we are interconnected on so many levels.

Our new Christmas Tree.

when we moved to this newer home back in 2003 we brought along our years old tree of about 7-8 feet tall and it was thin which fit the size and scale of theology house  especially with the little kids digging around looking at their possible treasures lol.

We moved here and the rooms were largerand square the ceilings here are 9′ to 10′ high .So, the old tree was like a Charlie Brown tree lol .  Janet and I shopped for a taller tree and found one that we thought would look great and the price was agreeable Like so many tree it was prelit. Up the tree went and it was perfecto👍😀.Slowly the tree lights began to disappear. It was not a cheap tree. And then Da,da,da came the day to store it away so it was careful fully placed back in its protective wray and into the attic it went. It came down next year and was never the same again? It was a Christmas mystery. I have to assume that the wires were so thin that just be repositioned caused them to break. I felt bad Janet was now having to wind with the kids new strings of lights to give the tree the look of light that is a thing of beauty. We were not seeking perfection .It is clearly the way so many products are made. From appliances furniture etc.As, I lay in bed I looked at the beautiful tree that my wife’ childhood friend called and gave to us Jean Marie is a living doll.

Janet and I had to purchase a new tree and I said get another 7’5″ tree who cares let’s not waiste money. If she wanted one then she could get what made her happy. What do I really care! She not a big spender. And does not care about stuff, clothes shoes ,cars, etc. And then came a call from her friend hi Janet do you need a Christmas Tree?

We are selling our home in North Andover and moving to NH she would then retire to her new home she was moving abroad for a a year or so until she returns.

Next thing that we knew the tree was delivered here. It was put up and looks like it was tailor made for them room. Our Star that had not been used for years fit it nice and straight and it is so beautiful Janet is so happy having it up and working and this year we as a family can use every smile that we can get.

 

From the bottom ofour hearts Jean Marie and family God used you as a Christmas Angel my daughter snapped a few pictures for me that’s said were okay on her phone but they do not do justice to its true beauty. Safe Travelsand we love you Merry Christmas and Have a healthy, Happy and prosperous 2017🌲❌⭕️🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️

Danny and family. I will attempt to put tree photos up soon. 👍😀🎅🎅