Hello, As a follow up to yesterday’s blog post.

 

My my hospice journey began over 2 weeks ago after being told that my tumor(number  3) was very bad and that treatment options for me were exhausted. No more, chemo,no more radiation and no more more treatment. surgery.

My Dr. Dr.David Reardon, is to me one of the most beautiful Dr’s that I have met. He and his staff are second to none in my care at Dana Farber. He stated 2 more things that really touched my heart Dan you have a special soul and personality you have helped so many other patients of mine even in the waiting roo. He said your blog is helping so many and we all read every word. That’s when I cried I said Dr. That’s all I ever wanted to hear. That I was helping someone else. He said finally Dan, we will never allow you to feel pain and explained end of life Glio as needing more and more rest until you simply spleep without waking.

It was a transformative yet, comforting conversation. Delivered by a special man in the front line fighting a horrible cancer with a very high mortality rate. Yet, everyday he gets up and goes to battle in order to fight it bonding and loving the next patient and family with a fresh new hope and vigor. Now, that’s God in action! That’s a Miracle.

Back to 101 now.

In home hospice began right away. It’s not a jolting experience in any way except for the emotions on the family friends and patients over their new scenario. Hospice is not a topic that invokes a sense of joy.it is once that often involves fear which is totally understandable.i have been at peace with my personal situation and diagnosis since my original diagnosis back. In March 2012. TheyHospice staff who comes to my home each one has been an angels, the social worker who has come as welł has been very helpful helping us to plan a transitional plan to outpatient full time treatment for when we need to move into a full time Hospice center that is my desire. My family just wanted me here to take care of me but I want them to be together and not response for my personal needs. In the hospice center that I have selected. It allows me to be taken care of by staff and my families needs will be taken care of as well. Hospice can provide help without pressure to help guide you through a very emotional time one such as this that no one can truly prepare you for. The hospice staff is lovelythey are a peaceful group . So they are never an issue. They made suggestions on what I can do to insure my safety while I am here. They are about supporting their family and patient from any more harm. I love who they area do what their lives mission is all about. It’s Jesus in action serving. My personal care assistant is a dad of 4 children who migrated fro Haiti years ago for a better life and was trained over 20 years ago. His kindness,and quiet faith brings our eyes to tears. Everyone even my dad met him today and though he was great.

The nurse, my personal care assistant who safely helps me bath with such an easy, professional and safe manner. Hospice is love, service and

Hospice from my/ our personal perspectivesin this home  is phones, doorbells lots of family and friends in and out texts, emails of loving support cards and gives of food etc. peoples love on full display. So, it’s like a warm blanket. My children have fought to keep the flow down to have every second to just be a family. I tell them I understand and paramiters were set to short visits that did not take time from us personally. I also explained to them that we do not know when God will call I have already been here far longer than conventional wisdom would have said. I did not go out for milk and never come home again. I wrote on my blog recently that we never feel like it’s enough one last, one more  Ilove you, one my hug. One more kiss” it’s human nature saying bye is a very painful thing for those who are left behind. I like you all have felt this as well.

 

The he bottom line is that I tell them that Gods got them and I intend to watch over them. People asked me to come and give signs that I am around. I tell that I cannot guarantee anything I am not leaving to join a magic show or to become a ghost. My faith tells me about an eternal reward of Heaven where Weare restored on the day all tears will be wiped away. That’s what I believe. God knows what can or cannot be done beyond that he is still the God of the universe not me. So, again honesty is always the best policy I only speak what I think based on my own personal journey I think this blog has rolled on like people say with a tough topic and made it a little more understandable that is my prayer. God bless you all. Always, Danny

Yes, no one wants to die, I get that too especially when your life is overwhelmed by love. That’s my case I am a spoiled man with a large family, including my 4 children, wife, siblings, friends from all areas of my/ our lives and a 2 very strong faith based groups. One based out of my home Parish of St. Joseph in Wakefielld. Ma and the retreat house in Methuen that we have been envovled with for many Years known as St. Basils . It is a very Holy retreat home.

As, I laid in bed early this morning and looked at our Christmas tree in the living room the lights were still on. My wife loves the lights of Christmas the candles, and her pellet stove running. She cooks and bakes non stop for everyone. She is truly like Martha from the bible serving everyone. She always been that way . This Christmas with my situation has made it very difficult for she and my kids especially my dad I worry about also. He is older almost 89 to be exact and he is very active he lost my mom after being with her dating and married for over 60 years so seeing me here and being like this is really making him sad. I/ Janet lost my second son Brad to heart disease almost 28 years ago and that loss is still felt. More about love and what Brad taught me after his passing. I will write about this very soon separately. If God revealed it through our journey then we will all learn from the lessons. We are all connected and live lives where we are interconnected on so many levels.

Our new Christmas Tree.

when we moved to this newer home back in 2003 we brought along our years old tree of about 7-8 feet tall and it was thin which fit the size and scale of theology house  especially with the little kids digging around looking at their possible treasures lol.

We moved here and the rooms were largerand square the ceilings here are 9′ to 10′ high .So, the old tree was like a Charlie Brown tree lol .  Janet and I shopped for a taller tree and found one that we thought would look great and the price was agreeable Like so many tree it was prelit. Up the tree went and it was perfecto👍😀.Slowly the tree lights began to disappear. It was not a cheap tree. And then Da,da,da came the day to store it away so it was careful fully placed back in its protective wray and into the attic it went. It came down next year and was never the same again? It was a Christmas mystery. I have to assume that the wires were so thin that just be repositioned caused them to break. I felt bad Janet was now having to wind with the kids new strings of lights to give the tree the look of light that is a thing of beauty. We were not seeking perfection .It is clearly the way so many products are made. From appliances furniture etc.As, I lay in bed I looked at the beautiful tree that my wife’ childhood friend called and gave to us Jean Marie is a living doll.

Janet and I had to purchase a new tree and I said get another 7’5″ tree who cares let’s not waiste money. If she wanted one then she could get what made her happy. What do I really care! She not a big spender. And does not care about stuff, clothes shoes ,cars, etc. And then came a call from her friend hi Janet do you need a Christmas Tree?

We are selling our home in North Andover and moving to NH she would then retire to her new home she was moving abroad for a a year or so until she returns.

Next thing that we knew the tree was delivered here. It was put up and looks like it was tailor made for them room. Our Star that had not been used for years fit it nice and straight and it is so beautiful Janet is so happy having it up and working and this year we as a family can use every smile that we can get.

 

From the bottom ofour hearts Jean Marie and family God used you as a Christmas Angel my daughter snapped a few pictures for me that’s said were okay on her phone but they do not do justice to its true beauty. Safe Travelsand we love you Merry Christmas and Have a healthy, Happy and prosperous 2017🌲❌⭕️🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️

Danny and family. I will attempt to put tree photos up soon. 👍😀🎅🎅