Monthly Archives: December 2016

The white stuff was so pretty

13 Tuesday Dec 2016

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Janet woke me up at around 2:am on Monday morning she had the window treatments open and the rear lights on so I could see the snow flakes coming down. It felt so nice seeing it like it was  a rebirth of some kind. I would not leave New England for this reason.i love the change of Seasons they are all beautiful and just add such a new perspective to your life, your day and they help to elevate my Spirits.

Plus, once I move I have moved. It’s a huge decision for me to go any whereespecially now. Time for moves and vacations are over thank God we are very simple and content people. hat’s a very big decision. My dad and family are here, my parish and the majority of my friends are here. I  am not up to a reboot of my whole existencequite yet. I am here feeling blessedwith no pain ever and I have to give all thanks to God for his goodness always in my life. My energy is still my issue but i am working on that as well. Nothing is too big. I am very happy. Thankyou for your prayers,love and support they are carrying us through each day with peace and joy.

5 years ago next March my whole life as a man, provider etc taking care of my home, yard work the whole thing just came to an end while making breakfast for my family. No warning signs no headaches nothing. I was at that time day  fror my 50th birthday on April 6.on April 6th I actually. Had a lumbar puncture to help determine what exactly I had developed they checked for MS or any other neurological diseases.

They then did an awake biopsy to the tumor that was detected. Band they graded it as grade 4 terminal. It could not be removed so I dust began my protocol at that time of my tamedor ( chemo) and my radiation. Which was 6 weeks and 5 days a week.Ialso accepted 1 of the clinical study that was offered. I told the Dr’s that it is the only one that God gave me peace over using. So, I received the new clinical drug of the time known as Veronstat the knickname was S.A.H.A I went through it and ended up cancer free for 4 years from the treatment. To the best of my knowledge I made longer on the trial than anyone else and its result with the other Meds per God. All glory always go directly to God. I am just Danny like you are all just… The bottom line is we are all equal in Gods eye each one precious each one with their own unique genetic code. Then came April 27th cancer came back. The one constant that I have struggled with for nearly 5 years is who am I? How can I help anyone. Without driving visiting nursing homes my sick friends or my dad has been so difficult.

Well, I prayed I reachedout to anyone who may be able to help to find a path forward to help someone. Meanwhile my blog began and I suddenly felt like great I am helping somebody now. I was receiving a whole of info that people loved that I took a difficult subject and made it a more understandable event that can help others. Patients with cancer etc tracked me down and asked me t share my journey with them in person and

 

 

One of them asked me into her Dr’s meeting t speak . I represented life and hope so people wanted to hopefully get to where I was at. The Dr,looked shocked as he walked in and saw me there. A spoke up and said its okay for Danny to be here and what was there to support her. It was such a honor to be there with her daughter and dear friend.

Well, the jobs I inquired about really would not work because how would I get there I cannot walk safely even at that time. Getting onto a bus or train is scary stuff.

 

Someone said how about call center work from your home many companies have companies who over call in centers. So, I waisted about 3 months going endless lists of jobs digging reading and finally. One of my brother in laws mentioned a large corporation that may be an option I looked into and saw the horrible comments of the people who had tried it. I immediately discussed with my family they were like dad you do not need this crap you have broken your tail all of these years just except the reality and stop stressing. My need to be the man was bringing dis-harmony.

I also, thought of through prayer my public speaking desire to help others and honestly to help my own self worth. I need to be honest because knows every thought and desire and where it is rooted from.

I talked to one of my best friends on the planet and one of his associates and they thought it may be a good fit, at least my friend did. But then April came and brain cancer surgery. It became painfully aware that I just could not travel in a way that I would need to safely especially with terminals air, bus whatever and pull my suitcase that I may need. I went to visit my friends and painfully apparent that I just could not I would need a person with me at all times to assist me with just about everything. Plus anyone who would see me in a large setting could perceive me as an easy target too.I need to keep it real. So, the dream was soon gone. I accepted knowing that option was now not in Gods plan.

God knows my heart my desire that is honestly the only thing that I care about now. I am content to sit now prayerfully and pray for those who are not well. For many that I do not know. God knows who you are! My love is with you.

 

if I could ask you for your continued prayers it would be very appreciated also for our friends and family who are now living with an empty chair at the table this Christmas Season

 

This song is one that I take to heart and truly believe that is why I am so at peace because he has heard my cry and he answers all prayers BT W I just had a personal care angel here to me is name is Guy and was one of the kindest and Holy men that I have met I told him he was my Christmas Angel. He has been in the field for 15 years and truly was amazed at my appearance, my faith and my positive point of view I just pointed up and said its God. We talked and he was off. Again, God is so good to us here. May God Bless Guy and his family too Amen.This is the song that Carries  me through the tough times and gives me hope on the journey.

please enjoy and keep the family of Matt S. in your prayers he rentlybwent to the Lord after a long struggle with Copolon cancer at age 27. Very tragic.This song really means that I am where God wants me to be to help others. My old life was my personal per suit and God helped me to make my personal aspirations become reality with Janet to fulfill my need. But now is act two any graces that are gained I am giving my graces to God to use for anyone who needs them.so, act two is about serving others. God got me right where he wants me in this moment and I accept it as my reality the lord sent me to complete this blog with a message of love, hope, faith and joy to help others. What better ashbiration could I ever have then to serve God and his simple calling. Amen.🙏🙏🙏

 

 

 

 

 

With much love,

 

just danny and family

 

 

 

 

Waiting for the white stuff. The inside looking out I came home from 1 week auto today and by chair car and have not been out since.i am looking forward to seeing a little white outside tomorrow. I feel like it’s like a new blanket of freshness. My stairways are now my new obstacles. Because I have lost so much strength. Having said that I have the caregiverspca,nurses and my physical therapist here ohelping me. I also have had family here and some of my closest and deerest of friends here they are our family. They have been there with us for years aside from that Wonderful friends and people we have some unhealthy people. you all have some hurtful people in our lives too that Weare keeping a wide birth from them for our own serenity. Having said that everyone has these people in their lives a few were family that we helped so much even as we raised our 4 and they caused confusion from their own issues. The so called friends as we found out What’s interesting is after my 1st diagnosis back inMarch 2012 the church’s I belong to St.Josephs in Wakefield and St.Basil retreat house.The Home Depot Corporation and St.Basils Retreat house Methuen plus a beautiful family mine included who are and always will remain our best friends and family pulled off a fundraiser for us for medical or hard ships that we may encounter .Who is ever ready for a terminal diagnosis ?with life and.with children in the college it got a bit scary real quickly. I lost my ability to negotiate my left side, driving and could not work. I sat at that fundraiser looking at the huge lines of people coming to support pport us and 1 saw one by one the people I speak of above made it to my chair beside Janet walked the floor in shock that this was our life Janet greeted everyone with a Thankyou ou and smile which is just the grace that resonates from her at all the times. She is very approachable .All of a the young men who were friendsof my sons that We count as ours had and helped to guide and mentor through grade school and Highschool were all running around helping to run the benefit dressed up insuit clothes. Some of these guys arrived Friday afternoons and went home on Sunday evening. They are great guys.It was Beauty in the midst of life’s chaos. Our friends / Ken and Andrea Bergeron and thier entire family cooked the most beautiful array of foods and worked the kitchen. Andreas and Kennys children ran the auction tickets and because they have a band supplied the music. They were great too One of my friends B.was moving his son all day to a new home in a different State and drove all the way back to partipatein in our event. We had an army of friends there some we knew well some not so well but they all worked non stop side by side to keep things going we had local businesses from Wakefield, Arlington and further contribute items food etc for the success of this effort. My pastor Fr. Ron gave us the use of the new hall, it’s new restrooms and kitchen for free use. Plus arranged for the parking garage to be opened for the overflow that was expected.My friend Bob who came back fro taking care of his sons move because of the nature of his work had access and is friends of big league players some of the raffle itemssubmitted by Bob amounts of the drawing items were items signed by Tom Brady amongst others. What was truly touching to us was as I peared across the hall I saw a lovely women who I used in my business .She is a quality crafts women, person. Mom and breaks her back for her children. She was standing their buying all kinds of raffle tickets. I was glad that she won a few of the gift baskets toottoo. God bless her and everyone’s ho came out to support us. In this life the most important thing that God calls for us is to forgive our debtors those that hurt us and to move on we as a couple all of our lives. We just did not what they had done to feed on us or allow us to hate on them.that would be sinful. But, they stillstung. When we love our families love and they are dealing with utter nonsense that someone is going through meas dados a husband a husband I wanted to address the situation straight on.or husband. Still do unfortunately. But, that is as they say life. It happens each one took their seat and I let Gods peace and love flow from me to them as they stumbled for wordsto say sorry for the past and how can Janet forgive me? I repeated said don’t worry she loves youyou have always been like a sister to her roll forward a short distance and anther one of the girls began nonsense over nothing and the other friend in the group said Don’ t worry we have all had problems where wewe have not taken to her for months.She is a narcasist. Meanwhile the friend from 30 years ago who begged forgiveness totally disappeared. Those are the situations that stunt ions that can steal peace but not for me. I am done I told Janet clear the gate if they show up. This is my blog about real life it’s not a hit job on anyone. We will always love that is Gods calling and we will always forgive but I told Janet do not put up with crap from anyone. Janet’s has always been shy,kind sweet. It’s her easy ness that makes her a target. People who are not in the right place or more hostile seize on people like Janet .They could not do that to me our personalities are different. My parents always said say what you mean, mean what you say.Just don’t be mean when you say it so I am in fact a pro. That’s why no names are listed aside from those who ran my benefit because they truly are the light and life in Christ in our lives that we all need especially during our hardest of days.one of the ladies has been sum what supportive for which I am grateful and have respect for her.She too apparently said to the other women what are you talking Janet has not changed one bit in all the years that-they have known her.See ,we cannot do anyone else’s inventory we never know anyone’s personal history we don’t know the childhood and development mental moments that form the personality that makes the person the person. What I do miss is the one of the girls husbands a whole lot he is the salt of the Earth and a wonderful dadand friend in time I will repair that relationship God willing. He is an innocent victim as well. again Love is the most powerful thing that God gave us. Amen.I honestly hope this inside out perspective of my life’s situation will help another in a similar situation to let themits okay their garage is not yours just let them there’s and own it. Lordknows,we all have them. I want to do my best for any of my blog readers because being in our situationand be locked in your home I need to know its to be okay and youare going to makewillmake it going through the this situation its life people are broken and we all sin. Hopefully this may offer some hope and truehope to you that it’s okay. Keep the faith and keep your peace andThe love-in your heart. To those that I have written about again it is my truth and feelings. I was going to call many times just to arrest the situation.Janet asked me not to so, Ihonored her and I did not but it has been hard. God Bless You and Merry Christmas. As, I await the coming Birthday remember ace of Jesus Miracle birth that saved our lives s from eternal death. I was laying in my new electric bed last night looking at my Christmas tree in the living room it was actually around 4:amI heard this song come on and it reminded me of my mom and my nana loved. God, faiths do they loved Anne Murray. It was so nice to hear. I pulled my blankets up grabbed my side rail and pulled it up tight like I was huggingthem. It gave me such peace a serenity. God bless you all with much love! Justdannyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YgTMwiWX5Q

11 Sunday Dec 2016

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Great night beautiful day! Praise God !

09 Friday Dec 2016

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well, yesterday this is a beautiful day was so busy with paperwork and the Hospice that is set up I had their staff in and out. Friends in from out of state to help us with some of my medical decisions my friend is in the industry so he was able to cut to the QuickTime get our questions so God Bless him for being in our lives and being that person to help alleviate our concerns so as my care needs accelerate and I would need to be moved the transition will be an easier one. Gods got everything covered he knows our needs and our desires so I just don’t worry. Janet wants what I want and is technically wired so she wants what I desire because they are MY wishes and she does not want to let me down. I honestly could never be let down by anything that Janet does. No one has done more for me our many others that she knows and continues to smile through her tears. Like I have said… Life is difficult yet it is beautiful.

God Bless You All, with love,

 

justdanny

 

you ou are in my prayers please my family and my needs in yours as well.

 

All is Well

07 Wednesday Dec 2016

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Hello Everyone, I have had a whole lot of reach out calls and pm on Facebook about how I was, where I was and if I was okay. Truth be told I feel great as ausual.

 

i still continue to terminal with my Glio Blastoma diagnosis so, no change there. I hit yet another side effect of the Glio diagnosis last week which required me to be transported into Brigham and Women’s by ambulance to the ER to be checked. They found that a new tumor had grown adjacent to the location of my last one that was removed last April 27. That tumor was orange sizedat that time  and was removed as best as possible and my treatment regimen began. My treatment was working and apparently has stopped so I have now got a monster tumor that covers my brain and is acutually so large that my brain is being pushed  side ways. The doctors cannot believe how well I present and the facthat my faculties are still so acute.

 

one of my friends asked if I had stopped treatment. I sai d no I would never cend my care it was my honor and gift to have my doctors they were given to me to help me through this time and I love them all so much! My nurses and Heath care providers.that have taken me all this way since Marchof 2012 I have out lived my many Glio encounters thanks number one to God, my medical, physical therapy team and the YMCA.and all of my loving family members.

 

When, I woke on Saturday morning my Dr. David Reardon was kneeling by my bed with his hand on my right arm.

i heard his soft voice speaking I open my eyes and exclaimed Dr. Reardon Thankyou for coming. God bless you he explained the tumor image to us and explained its severity to us he explained that the treatment protocol was no longer working, surgery was no longer possible and I have hit my maximum limit for radiation to my brain he said that we should stop treatment because the only chemo left gives very little healing is guaranteed to make me vohmit constantly so he thought was not good. It’s about quality of life, family ,love ,friends faith and keeping joy for my amazing family who have bared so much over the last 4 plus years.

my cancer journey began March of 2012. With months to live God my medical team family and my many Facebook friends and blog world have prayed for me as I prayed for them. So, I love you all, I Thankyou all.

i was sent home to begin in home hospice until I can no longer be handled hereand will end up eventually at Kaplin Hospice in Danvers. When the time is deemed appropriate.

 

This blog is never suppose to be a bummer nor is the poor Dannynewsletter . Neither of those things describes me at all.This all about faith home and remind everyone who is going through a difficult time that it is okay. We are never alone or forsake. By our Creator/ God. By my faith Roman Catholic. I understand their are other faiths and traditions out there so I appreciate each and everyone is free to chose. But please find comfort in the knowledge that every prayer is heard and will be

 

answered.

 

i am home extremely comfortably with peacefulness as I live my life’s journey on my way to the cross. with peace and joy . Once again Thankyou for all of your prayers past,present and future I will continue to pray for you all as well.

 

i have been fighting a fight a long time but the war was already wine by God sending his only begotten son to give his life for us all. Death is no longer eternal thanks be to Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior.

 

This song that I have chosen tonight for this blog I shared before. It is perfect in this moment to accompany my feelings of this blog…

 

This is not  a goodbye  it’s is primarily a love kiss and huggy you all..

I continue upon my journey with hope faith knowing that Gods got me eternally and you all too.MerryChristmas to everyone. Love,

 

if if I may ask for a bit of privacy at our home at this time for my family The Hospice worker explained the families need for quiet time as we settle into this transition time and we see that it will be a challenge for us. God bless you and Thankyou for caring and unsterndind our time for down time as well

One of the most things that Dr. Reardon said to me before he left is how much I helped all of the otherhelped his other r patients / my dear friends through my speaking praying with them and my blog. I loved each one of my friends that I have eat with prayed with  lost and know they are always with me In Spirit supporting me also We all feel so independent but we are truly connected through love and brother hood. We are all more alike then different. Life is a glorious symphony. With its drama and its lofty notes. I love the phapsody that I

just Danny.

 

i will continue to work my post. If and when my ability is not there my son Dan will jump in take over and update you all. And will attach to my Facebook wall as well😀👍🌲🙏

 

This song one sent with loveliest to God for his Divine Goodness in my life always to all of my ffamily, friends,  l friends whoever they maybe my Facebook friends and my fello blog friends. I have the best life a peaceful joyful loved filled journey of hope. I keep praying for a continued Miracle. I know we are all Miracles just by our births we are divinely made by a superior creator God that loves us all immeasurably.

 

with that the song is this.

 

life is hard ,but is always but is also beautiful too.

my faith and victory in my life is only one