It’s now Sunday, January 29th @5:41 I have been here in the English Countryside and it was a beautiful day.

The sun was in and out and it was nippy out.  I honestly hope that you got outside and had some fun.  This song is I love ❤️ because of the message God makes beautiful things and helps us all to grow new roots in the sand of this life and the soil will bring us all back to our desire of helping others and finding purpose. Once again. We all have different lives with different issues mine is cancer at this moment some have psychological and some have emotional etc.

Life is always beautiful hang tough.

None of us knows for sure God could call me in 5 minutes and he could call me in 30 years really do not know .i am not Going second guess his plan. I’ve just been sitting hear. Eating my food all day. My family has been here with me during the day. It was awesome.

We thought about making a video for my grand children someday. So, they get a sense of who I was and my desires for his/her life. That would be hard and emotional 😭 for me you can bet that it would be all bases upon my family beliefs of my faith family and faith based on my Christian Catholic Beliefs I realize as always that different faiths see things differently so please do no not take offense.God Bless. Just danny

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January 28-2017,

Hello All and good evening. 🌆 Justdanny here. This is to all of my friends, church members and neighbors who I love and thank for your support love and prayers over the nearly 5 years of my families battle fighting my Glio Blastoma brain cancer diagnosis. Thankyou for your prayers, I am in my Hospice hide away. I will not be returning to my Wakefield home again. When God calls me again until God calls me home. It could be 5 minutes from now and it could be 30 years from now, who knows. I am not worrying that’s for sure. My family are in and out of the hospice house. My old dogs visit me and are roaming around the room looking for a new bone to chew on. Thank you all for your love and support over the many years. I am here for you. Love, just DannySo, the link that I shared yesterday should attach from My Facebook to log to my Facebook properly. Love, just Danny

Its, January 21 Sunday at 12:25 in the afternoon and I have always s said that I would be honest about my journey no matter what because changes happen at we never know what can happen it’s been a long time encephalitis My origin diagnosed back Well, the lovely lady Re Re that does all the beautiful things for everyone I told her story and said it was said it’s betewwn you and us and never read it before I actually. Posted it .i got a sense that I hurt her feelings. I feel like my thought processs  I am fining that

Here in my bed feeling well. But, I think that I am startin to disappear in my diss ion making management After always managing my life as a type and multi tasking. That I have done I am beginning to confuse the simplest of things so here I sit telling you that this too can happen.

Today, I am writing this today so that people understand that this too can happen. Again, we planned ahead so My Janet is my personal trustee and health prox. So, if something happens she is all set. That gives me all the peace in the world.

Gob Bless You All,

and shift change is do so I will

JThe ory of yesterday here after I wrote what about what a loaf of pumpernickel can do, I shared it and the people were so happy and had it at like every meal. One of the when they saw last night that hot dogs and beans was one option they were all so excited that they wanted it again. The chefs would make them whatever they wanted. For breakfast the chef said Dan, there are a couple of pieces left would you like them I said once again check with the others. First. Have been planning on going home to my families home whereas I left so quickly almost 3 weeks ago. My family wanted to make it happen so each family member. Stayed up and cooked and baked all night. I went down to what I thought was to eat my left overs and my family members were there with all of my personal favorites. We fed anyone and every one that was in the building

Volunteers everybody. There will be a lot of pictures posted shortly God is always giving us better that we deserve. I think the fuuniest thing is this all of my siblings and families children are just like my dad. When he part came t an end and they all wanted to clean the room. They were worried but getting trash bags etc. Meanwhile the Facility manangement was outside waiting . This place is always cleaning and it’s beautiful. Again this is why, I am here. So, everyone came back here and relaxed in my room which was 👍

M

God Bless You All. Thankyou all for your prayers.

We are praying for you all too. Please special prayers for Myfriends Brian.L and Arthur R. Who are suffering from Parkinsons desease and For our friendlier Friend Deacon Paul fro,m NY. we having been praying for his cousin Louis Vitale and his wonderful friend and colleague B.Devlin both are in End of life Hospice centers and are not expected to be with us here much longer. Thankyou for your prayers and we are praying for you all and your families. When we say a general prayer God answers them ang gives us what we need Always. Love Just Danny and familyAmen🙏❤️️👍

From a Different Perspective: (Dan’s Wife)
#2JustJanetSpeaks_Part2
(My first post was on January 11th)

Good Afternoon,

I guess I will start at the turning point of how we got here at this Hospice House. First of all, it was quite the nightmare just getting the correct information between the insurance company and various hospice homes prior to Dan being accepted to this particular hospice home which looks like a five star hotel. We are so blessed. Somehow God has put people in our lives to assist in these situations. In this case it was our very dear friends from NY who travel here in a heartbeat the minute they hear Dan is back in the hospital. He and his wife have advocated for us on more than one occasion during Dan’s illness. They are both in the medical field so they have experience.

Dan and I have talked about everything you could possibly talk about no matter how morbid the subject because this has become our reality since he was diagnosed with brain cancer back in March 2012.

We talked about topics that no one wants to discuss but, we didn’t have a choice. We’ve already planned the funeral, picked out the readings, songs, etc. together and picked the cemetery…went back and forth about cremation vs burial and so forth. We talked about the collation after the cemetery too. We planned gifts from Dan in his memory for each of our children which was a nice idea we got from another dear friend who lost her husband a little over a year ago. Also, spoke about Dan writing personal letters to each child and possibly making a video for our future grandchildren. We were blessed with the last five years to discuss all of this although much of this was figured out more recently. I had to get power of attorney which we probably should have done years ago but, waited until recently and then scrambled to find a notary to come to our house now that Dan was house bound.

My advice to all of you is, as morbid as it sounds, please discuss what your loved one’s and your own wishes are ahead of time because you just never know….not that I want people not to think positive but, it is necessary to plan ahead for situations like ours. Dan’s illness literally occurred overnight-no warning at all. We are actually lucky that we’ve had the last five years to discuss all of this but, some people never get that opportunity so it’s nice to know in those situations. Don’t put off doing your wills while trying to avoid that morbid topic especially if you have young children who you need to plan for in case of a sudden death. No one likes to think about it but, unfortunately, it can happen. Lastly, make sure have life insurance policies. Be smart-Always plan for the future. Get it done now so that everything is in place and then you won’t have to think about it or wish that you had done it when it’s just too late. Put everything in place and then put it behind you and live your life to the fullest!!!

Among all of these discussions we talked about what would happen in the end when Dan could no longer care for himself….another fun topic! This is also something that we didn’t figure out right away. In fact, we didn’t figure it out until visiting another very dear friend a little over a year ago who was unfortunately also in a hospice home. After visiting there, Dan said to me, “That’s where I want to be when I can no longer care for myself. I want my dignity and I don’t want you and the kids helping me with bathroom issues etc.” Then he said, “I don’t want to die at home. I don’t want that memory for you and the kids.” We both agreed after having experienced what a hospice house was like from visiting our friend. That is what we wanted. We saw first hand from our visits there that it was very peaceful. The pain was managed by the staff along with all of the care and now his wife who had been his full time care taker at home could finally be his wife and just be there for him to help him through and hold his hand. She is a nurse, a very caring person and even she realized that his care had become impossible for her to handle on her own at their home.

We’ve seen both sides-When hospice is at home until the end vs a hospice home. Hospice at home is very difficult for the family even with a small frail person because at the very end, they have absolutely no strength and become dead weight and almost impossible to change or get onto a camode.

Helping Dan in and out of bed and getting him to the bathroom which was only a few feet away, became impossible for me due to the size difference between Dan and I. If you know me, you know that there is a significant size difference between Dan and I…lol!…I’m 4’9″ about 115 lbs and Dan is 5’11” about 230lbs. Dan became much weaker after his seizure on New Year’s Eve-a horrific night for all of us to have witnessed…although Dan didn’t remember a thing. He came out of the seizure, looked at all of us standing around him with the look of fear on our faces and said “What’s all the drama?!” Leave it to Dan right?! His body became much weaker immediately after that seizure-very sad, but, now he could no longer pull himself up from laying to sitting like he could the day before. He normally just pulled himself up using his bedrail but, now he had no strength. When I got him to stand, his left leg would give out and he would start to fall…then he would say “remember I told you that my left knee was bothering me?”, even though he hadn’t said such a thing. I think he was just embarrassed at his new weakness. This was a sign that I was told to look for-additional weakness on the left side….the cancer gave him no use of his left arm and weakness to his left leg since he was diagnosed almost five years ago…luckily it wasn’t the other way around and he was able to walk on his own until now. He took a few almost falls especially when getting out of bed recently-this had become an almost impossible task.

Dan was staying on the first floor of our home in the family room in a hospital bed and I would lay in his bed with him and then sleep on the couch beside him once he was ready to sleep. I couldn’t sleep but, didn’t want to take anything to help me sleep because I didn’t want to be groggy while helping Dan during the night…..Think I was running on pure adrenaline because I wasn’t tired at all even after a full month of barely any sleep. He would get up 3-4 times a night to use the bathroom. One recent morning, I managed to help him sit up. He moved forward after sitting on the end of the bed and began to slide off when he attempted to get up. Now he’s sliding off the bed onto the floor and I’m braced underneath him attempting to stop his fall because once he’s on the floor it is almost impossible to get him up, even with help. (We’ve had to call the fire department a couple of times to pick him up off the floor just prior to finding out that a new tumor had grown and I didn’t want to have to call and bother them again.) So now it’s about 3:30 am and I’m underneath Dan on the floor trying to prevent his fall. He kept telling me to lower the bed…if only my arms were just a little bit longer…lol! So now I decided to yell for Rachael, my youngest daughter (we still have two girls at home) as loud as I could so that she could run and get her boyfriend who was thankfully staying over to help us. I screamed out her name-scared the living daylights out of her because I just yelled her name and once she answered, I yelled that dad is falling out of the bed and I need help-hurry!!!!!….the poor thing was so disoriented! Her boyfriend couldn’t help but hear all the commotion and came to the rescue. It took all three of us to get him back to a safe place on the bed. This happened more than once.

It went from that to having to have one of Dan’s brother’s or my son staying with us 24/7 after Dan’s seizer in case he needed to use the bathroom. We were at the point where I had to use a urinal for him because he no longer had the strength to get out of bed. He really went downhill fast. We were already at that point that we had originally discussed where he was ready for a hospice home. I still felt very guilty about no longer being able to care for him even though that was our original plan. I kept second guessing myself as to whether or not it was really time to go and Dan kept reassuring me that it was. Then it was confirmed by the nurse from the VNA once I explained everything that was going on to her. I felt a little better once she told me it was definitely time and I was doing the right thing. In fact, she said to me, I’m a nurse and I had to put my mom into a hospice home because I could no longer care for her.

We are enjoying and cherishing our time together with our family. I am so lucky that I’m allowed to live here at the hospice home with him.

I wrote this for the same reason that Dan is documenting his hospice home experience…Just hoping to help people if and when it comes time that they have a loved one who may need a hospice home or for people who are preparing for a loss.

Stay Strong-God Bless ❤️

Love,<<
net<<
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I began this writing a few days ago and I am finishing it right now.

I hope you have a great day. It’s is beautiful in the English country side today. I feel well. Tired as always but that’s just life. We all have obstacles but joy is ever present the lining in every cloud is gray.Silver so that it shimmers. This hospice choice is the exact fit that I was praying for and it is so much more. so much more! I am a blessed man.

The other night, as Janet and I were lying in bed we looked up and the moon light was just hitting the angle of the skylight as we looked beyond we saw that the sky had cleared and we saw the crystal clear stars in the sky. It was so beautiful. We were just hugging and she was rubbing my back. As usual every moment here has been a gift.

I would not not trade a second for anything. I hate cancer it’s not from God but I love life and believe there will be a cure very soon.

Here are a few pictures of my Hospice experience to prove it’s not scary ❤️️👍😁😁

This is Jerry, one of my dogs. Pets can come visit so long as they have shots.

My son and I on the English country side.

My daughter Rachy, and my surrogate son Austin also on a walk in the English country side.

My wife and I during our walk of the English country side

The food here is unbelievable!

Transitioning from in home to an out patient.facilitycan. It’s gets complicated because of all of the confusion given to the patients. Not because of the hospice providers but by the different homes, their rules of  fof acceptance and the threshold thresholds if it were not formy Visiting nurse and our friends from New York Deacon Paul flying in and getting the mixed up info straightened up. We prayed a lot because. Janet,Paul,and two of my children came up to tour the home here and they knew that I would happy Remeber it was discreet to be out of my hom.. So, the fact that they saw, excepted and were okay was huge to me. I and We are truly so blessed to be here.At some point, I will let every know where I am or was. If not me my my family will.I cannot tell you now because it is a very busy place up here 3 beautiful people left to go to God yesterday so my prayers are with the lost and their families. By last night 3 more families who got the called and arrived. I am told that they are younger which again is very sad. So please send prayers in a general offertory for anyone’s needs. God will give the prayers according and help everyone who needs them our prayers  and my graces are being offered up as well.

At my home in hospice we started compile info n how things would proceed and our first in home. Hospice was good for My in home care My nurses the social worker and my personal care attendant were superb.

The bottom line is the his, I had s elected one Hospice Home that I knew from visiting my friend Paul Sullivan juniors. I must say the sense of serenity love and peace was flowing their because of his families faith and fedility. You could feel it heretoo so there are other witnesses to Gods peace. Paul and Linda’s journeys eerily mirror one another. We were neighbors in our first home. In Wakefield we arrived in Aug 2003 they arrived next door a year or two later. Janet and I lost our second son Brad Michael and they lost their Stephen as well. We wee a close Paul came to see me in April of 2012 when I was diagnosed with my terminal Glio and said I cannot believe this is happening to you, he told me later that he cried all the way home and based on how I looked and his knowledge of my cancer. And his wife Linda’s work as a nurse in oncology at a Boston Paul was diagnosed about a year after with my diagnosis with pancreatic cancer which killed Janet and I and his family begin such a terrible journey themselves. Like most people who hear of a friend or family member we all get shell shocked.Paul to see. Paul was ad forever will be  a loved hero of the Somerville 🔥department Paul went to God last Dec 20th in his room in peace with his Christmas Decorations up IJanet and I was were honored to see him at  a mass they had in the chapel that we were invited too. At that mass the priest suggested that they could renew their wedding vows and they did. Now that was a big thing to do emotionally but it was incredible like they always were. He even stood up

As I began to say earlier . The first Hospice service was excellent in home but the information that hey could give us was very scattered due to the Hospice homes and the industry. Hospices home some have two level of care General like I am now but they have step up when my needs get even more necessary which clearly will happen. After our digging and our friends assistance we broke down the confusion and confronted the powers that be about our dismay over it. It got resolved. Our friends in New York are both as I said and have said  are involved in the medical business. Paul has over 900 ion staff in his company as Helen helped to run Bellevue hospital and I believe she is know doing the advocacy of all patients New York University  Hospital in.different hospices wanted to charge an entry fee. Which we could have done but thanks be to God Janet has wonderful insurance through work that covers my being here. The next thing we were told was that if I were to advance to the higher level that. I could be guaranteed a spot. I would have to leave and try to get back into a facility. It was ridiculous truly .

Part of the problem is that not everyone has both levels and I need them both. When the VN.A ..counselor  who interviewed me came came in for my evaluation based on my presentation mobility and how tiny my wife was and my size she said your going right now. My had already hurt her back twice in one week as I fell. My kids were running around getting me up the local police/ fire had to come doctors in fo took look and said nope you need to go now . Which I knew and she confirmed the ambulance had already been calledJanet  and my family that was there in our homage that time got us packed pronto.And, the ambulance arrved right away.

When we arrived hhere at the hospice home We were  met by the director of this house and we and asked her what happens when I get to the next level? Shie said you will get that level. And, we will never make you leave. You are ours now it’s a family it’s about you and your family. It was so beautiful. And gave us such peace.

The only little thing that upsetus here was that yesterdaythat my dad took a little fall in his houme ufortunately some of my siblings were there and unlike me my dad was able to get up on his own because of his age 88 and most 89 years young they called an ambulance to take him to be checked out to make sure nothing was broken or fractured. Thank God he checked out very well and will be back home very soon. He’s very happy about that👍😁as are we. God once again is good.This song below may seem a little melancholy but I look at them as a beautiful song and tribute to all of my friends including all of you who are praying for us. We are all connected no matter what faith. It’s Simple One God, One ❤️ Amen.

God Bless you all with much love ❤️ just danny

From a Different Perspective: #JustJanetSpeaks
Good Evening,

No, I am not starting my own “Just Janet Speaks”…Just have a couple of real-life posts that I would like to put out there for people who are in a similar situation whether it be now or in the future. 

First of all, I have to apologize because I wasn’t born with the gift of writing as my husband was so I’ll do the best I can. I’m writing for the same reason that Dan is documenting his hospice home experience…Just hoping to help people if and when it comes time that they have a loved one who becomes gravely ill.

I just thought I would talk about what a wife/caretaker goes through mentally and how I’ve made it this far by the grace of God and plan to stay strong even after Dan’s passing. This is probably easier said than done. It’s hard to imagine what my life will be like after he passes. I honestly can’t see past it at this time in my life but, unfortunately, I will know soon enough. I do know that he will always be with myself and my children to watch over us. He will always be in my heart. That’s what I truly believe.

Luckily, I have my faith which I tend to lean on during a time like this. Or let’s just say, I should be leaning on but, at times it’s really difficult and if you’ve heard me when I’m at my lowest low (which unfortunately a few close friends have heard), you would think I had no faith at all. When that happens, I have to stop and put things back into perspective. I have to admit that I am only human and I have questioned God many times during this ordeal. It doesn’t mean I’ve lost my faith or that I no longer believe in God. It just means that I’m human and as a human, we are all selfish when it comes to losing a loved one especially one who you feel is too young and too good of a person to leave this earth but, it is not for us to decide. Unfortunately, we have no control. Even all the money in the world can not heal such an illness. Look at Ted Kennedy who also had the same brain cancer that Dan has (Glioblastoma Multiforme Grade 4) who unfortunately couldn’t save himself even with all of his money. It’s a horrific disease that keeps on attacking and always comes back with a vengeance. 

I still find it hard to believe that it has come to this point. The time where there is no more treatment and nothing else that the doctors can do for him. I can’t say enough about the wonderful care that Dan received and the impeccable bedside manner that his doctor and nurses have over at Dana Farber and Brigham and Women’s. Just thought I would throw that in. 🙂 I’ve said to many close friends/family that it seems so surreal. This place looks like a fancy hotel…only without a pool….Sometimes I let my mind wonder and it could almost seems like we are just hanging out on vacation. It’s sunny and bright here with skylights and doesn’t have that hospital smell at all nor do you feel like there are germs everywhere and feel like you need to keep washing your hands. Luckily Dan is not in pain which I am grateful for. We have seen many suffer in the end with so much discomfort.

I’ve definitely been through all of the feelings that one has who is about to lose their soulmate. We have known each other 35 years and have been married for 30 of those years. 

I remember being so angry that Dan had this incurable illness. I felt that it was not fair and I was very angry with God and angry at the fact that we’ve already lost a son at two weeks old due to a rare heart defect. I was angry and felt like I’ve already paid my dues and why should I have to lose my husband now too. But, I’ve come to realize that everything seems to happen for a reason-we don’t always know that reason and sometimes we will never know..maybe that’s why we have a son in heaven?…just so that he is there to greet Dan, his father. If you read psalm 139 which Dan loves and quotes all the time, it basically says that God knows all before it actually happens in your life. In other words, God has a plan and he knows all.

As faithful as I am, I have had moments that I am not so proud of where I haven’t been so strong. I have to admit if I’m going to cry, it’s usually by myself for the most part at nighttime when I’m alone. Best time to cry right?! When no one is around right?!…So I thought!!!…until some random pizza guy rings your bell at 12:30 in the morning and scares you so bad that the tears turn to fear-true story! Who on earth delivers that late in Wakefield?! Apparently they do because he was holding a pizza but, had the wrong address. Normally, I try not to cry in front of the kids but, that doesn’t always work out too well either-sometimes it’s just hard to hold back. I’ve cried only to close friends who apparently I felt comfortable enough with to let out my true feelings, but, I know that it can be overwhelming for some people. I don’t want any of my friends to feel as though they need to be my therapist after Dan passes. I will seek professional help before that happens and take it one day at a time. I don’t want my time with my friends to be spent with them consoling me.

If Dan has taught me anything, it’s to be faithful and strong and to deal with whatever comes your way.

My advice to everyone is to live each day to the fullest and enjoy life because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Never take life for granted because life is too short. Always be the best person you can be and be kind and caring toward everyone. I wish you all the very best and hope that you never have to go through this. 

Stay Strong-God Bless!

Love,

Janet

http://www.usccb.org/bible/psalms/139Smooth sailing last night and today. Thankyou for all of the kind messages and prayers and to all of the staffe from personal care attendants nurses and the building cleaning staff you are just a God send . I haveadjusted my diet to avoid as much dairy that is my meals etc to prevent another situation.his song came on last night as Janet as Janet and I were laying  in my my hospital bed just talking andjust were laying in bed. TO day is one full week here already. . Yes today is one full week since I leftome has been some of the most beautiful moment that we as a family have ever shared so again we need to savor every moment they are a gift too look up and saykyou to God for.It’s a beautifusunny day. So, get up and kick it.God Bless you all. Love justdanny and family. I

http://www.usccb.org/bible/psalms/139Smooth sailing last night and today Thankyou for all of the kind messages and prayers and to all of the staffe from personal care attendants nurses and the building cleaning staff you are just a God send . I haveadjusted my diet to avoid as much dairy that is my meals etc to prevent another situation.his song came on last night as Janet as Janet and I were w layeing in my my bed just talking andjust were laying in bed. TO day is one full week here already. . Yes today is one full week since I leftome has been some of the most beautiful moment that we as a family have ever shared so again we need to savor every moment they are a gift too look up and saykyou to God for. It, its a a beautify sunny day. So, get up and kick it.God Bless you all. Love justdanny and .:family. Thankyou all for your messages, including on my blog etc. it means so much that I am actually giving something back while Gods got me here in peace and prayer. This is the song that Janet and I heard last night that we love and not heard in a while.

Gods got this thing called life whether we are with him or here waiting. Just believe.❤️️👍😁

//www.usccb.org/bible/psalms/

My Advent journey very different than any that I have ever experienced. It was so a contrast from my everday experience with terminal cancer. I will say this Christmas started earlier than ever there was so much doubt that I may not make it. And, honestly who really knows when as my friend calls the bell tolls for thee. My hospice experience has definitely proved to be better than I could have ever had planned for . For my My Advent experience .My family loves it too. Like I have said. Before no one wants to be end of life Za Hospice Home but,thankGod!  they exist because, as of last Saturday I was not safe at home. Now, The Advent Season  started early.in our home  In October in terms of Christmas Music anyway. I found one day that I heart radio had a free App for the Radio and it showed Christmas radio 365. I had it on until the first of the year January of 201 My Janet and I have always loved the Christmas and Advent Seasons we love the lights traditions of faith, family,friends and festivities the children’s pageants, concerts and excitement for the whole experience. It’s  Christmas lights. and the true meaning we have never been big commercial shoppers what else do you need ? Your living a good life, your kids are well taken care. We did. It travel very much so the week that Janet and I took off from Christmas and New Years were spent hosting family and friends to dinners and spending time with them. We really enjoyed this time . This year was very different I went off to Brghams and Women’s end of Nov ember for my latest huge tumor that is not treatable and when I was returned to my home in Dec the ambulance driver said oh, your home looks so pretty the lights are beautiful. I could not see it because I was looking down the hill. When they pulled into my driveway and they got me out of ambulance I was so happy that the family home was d corated .Our home has always been lit since our earliest days in our Belmont aparptment.
Our children and their special people in our lives they are ours and we are theirs got everything out and up and added a really nice new item to our front lawn display that sent a really neat night pattern of green and red little floating lights that danced around and left a pattern on the house it was so nice. The little lights would come through the sheers in my living room and Janet and I I/ would lay in my hospital bed at home and watched the little colored lights as they float around it was really relaxing. The children even decorated the mantle in the family room and an old decorative ficus tree it looks brand new. As, I began to weaken my brother stayed on the couch in the living room and said that it was cool how the the light and shapes were them they were low voltage so they were

I will be posting pictures soon to show whatThe inside of Hospice is like. It’s not scary. At hope Christmas/ this Advent
Being considered . Gods got this thing called life whether we are here or he calls us and Miracles happen. I do believe!

I

Good Afternoon everyone.Sitting here on a beautiful sunny day looking at the pretty view from my sunny. Room. I look onto the remnants of the snow that fell the other day and at the woods. It is very very peaceful as always.

I have always said that I would be honest in everything that I write about my journey because of  wanting to help another who may or may not encounter something similar. My energy level continues to be. Weak and last night,early evening I woke up after a nap and felt that I needed to use the restroom. I do not get out of my bed at all even with family because the Hospice Home is about my safety and preventing further injuries .I am a liabity .hey are awesome and so loving. When I ring they run because they know that I I know I never call unless I need something or often will not ask anybody for anything  feel like I am bothering some one and I have felt that .i am not the only person here who has needs and mine are far less serious than theirs at the moment as far as I am concerned. The last almost 5 years I have been saying…I am sorryto Everyone for everything and no matter who it is in my life they have always the said thesame thing to me stop.itand t, if it was us you would help us the same way. You have always dreamed me everything for everybody. So ,it is in my own mind know a definitely a pride issue. feeling responsible for the illness that came upon me that changed our whole families livesincluding my moms who was at the time fighting her own battle with lung cancer during ng that time I got there to be with my beautiful mom with my family driving me. When  it was hard to get there. I spoke to her at least twice a day and she loved the blog too. When we as a family we’re together. My parents  and siblings who ever were there in my parents dining room would pray together and in the end of prayer we did our Prayers to the St. Rachael the patron Saint of Healings and we used the blessed oil from My home parishes healing ministry. St

 Joseph’s in Wakefield AMA. Ty

Like a say, I being the dad that  the dad. I am suppose to take care of my family .there is no known cause of Glio and it is on the rise unfortunately really getting common. I do believe that a cure will come  for all cancer someday. Not for me but hopefully for you family and your loved ones. Everything is inspired by God through his Divine Spirit to us Medicines, machines 

So, everytime my aides or nurses are here they tell me the same thing. do not say sorryWe chose this job and I know God has them  in their ministries that they agreed to. I / we truly love ❤️ them and always say God Bless you.  Last night I had 2-3 accidents not their fault which required one of the aides o be here after her shift washing my laundry for the second tand third cleaning my bedding, the bath etc.Maria had me fully cleaned up for the second and said please stop saying sorry. said your sadtonight which s I said I am just so ashamed. Guys do not do not this. I need to say this I was not raised in a home where women were second class citizens. Or were second best. My momand dad worked together in unison to get their family to where they envisioned us to be. My mom worked a very successful career in her time-and frankly was a ,beautiful kind doer she smart She said Danny you have brain cancer and have no control. She said you are Miracle, to which I said we are Miracles just by our births. I said you are all miracles here to your patients too And they truly are.She said You are helping so many people there and have no idea how many are being effected by your blog and by your loving spirit are beno idea. The ..” bYou have no idea. She said everyone can feel the love from you and your family flowing through the hallways it is so rare to see theis here we never see this

She  said to me that she makes prayer worry boxes and she was making one for me . The next time she comes she said we are going to use small slicky notes for whatever is on our minds and just give it to Godthrough the slot  and leave it with God . She said once it goes into that is my Hospice experience and the love and support is unbelievable. I hope that I am not offending anyone by my candidness. Janet crawled into my bed and hugged me and I put my bed behind me to hug and talk and I put my pandora on and set it to my Christian music selection. and it was amazing all of the different songs that came up. This is one of the first songs by Natalie Grant.

God is with us always and I needed to say this because last night I was not feeling so bulletproof. God restored me by his the gift 🎁 of music while I slept with it gently and softly playing all  nightOn a really cute note every night. The kids always kiss and hug us repeatedly and say your the cutest dad and the best dad in the world.. I responded last night to them no I am not my dad/ papa is and I meant it. He is what I want to be when I grow up.and, I do mean that sincerely. I have never met another like him. I know I get my faith and my fight to go on from he and my mom so I am truly blessed by the foundation that Faith and my foundation of strength that came from so much living so many people we all are connected and we all know each other by God’s election if you readA.

Psalm #139 you will. The very bottom of the psalm speaks of anger that God should kill all wicked. Knowing God the way that I feel that

I doGod is love. It’s when we arrive at his judgement seat that each of us will be judged by his message. Also, my further though is that God just struck them by my faith they would be denied their free will choice to reconcile themselves to their wrongs and their God. Those are my thoughts anyway. I think that the bottom of #139 were the personal thoughts of the prophet who loves God so much that he is personsonally invested in the message and does not understand someone not feeling the sameway. I just do not like the verbage. It’s not the word of God to me.everyone is free to use their own faith to see what works for them. In my feelings once again, there is one God and many valid faiths. No matter which it is . 🙏

in afinal note the stuff that happened last night is suspected to be My now beingnLactose intolerant. Ii have not ever been but in life things change.,they make homemade incredible milshakes here. My desire yesterday for a nice fresh Strawberry 🍓 shake uncovered something new.So, in the future I will watch any dairy that I take in. The shake was unbelievable but new again.

AA

God Bless you all always love just Danny and familyEnjoy this beautiful Day look up and say Thankyou. Amen