Transitioning from in home to an out patient.facilitycan. It’s gets complicated because of all of the confusion given to the patients. Not because of the hospice providers but by the different homes, their rules of  fof acceptance and the threshold thresholds if it were not formy Visiting nurse and our friends from New York Deacon Paul flying in and getting the mixed up info straightened up. We prayed a lot because. Janet,Paul,and two of my children came up to tour the home here and they knew that I would happy Remeber it was discreet to be out of my hom.. So, the fact that they saw, excepted and were okay was huge to me. I and We are truly so blessed to be here.At some point, I will let every know where I am or was. If not me my my family will.I cannot tell you now because it is a very busy place up here 3 beautiful people left to go to God yesterday so my prayers are with the lost and their families. By last night 3 more families who got the called and arrived. I am told that they are younger which again is very sad. So please send prayers in a general offertory for anyone’s needs. God will give the prayers according and help everyone who needs them our prayers  and my graces are being offered up as well.

At my home in hospice we started compile info n how things would proceed and our first in home. Hospice was good for My in home care My nurses the social worker and my personal care attendant were superb.

The bottom line is the his, I had s elected one Hospice Home that I knew from visiting my friend Paul Sullivan juniors. I must say the sense of serenity love and peace was flowing their because of his families faith and fedility. You could feel it heretoo so there are other witnesses to Gods peace. Paul and Linda’s journeys eerily mirror one another. We were neighbors in our first home. In Wakefield we arrived in Aug 2003 they arrived next door a year or two later. Janet and I lost our second son Brad Michael and they lost their Stephen as well. We wee a close Paul came to see me in April of 2012 when I was diagnosed with my terminal Glio and said I cannot believe this is happening to you, he told me later that he cried all the way home and based on how I looked and his knowledge of my cancer. And his wife Linda’s work as a nurse in oncology at a Boston Paul was diagnosed about a year after with my diagnosis with pancreatic cancer which killed Janet and I and his family begin such a terrible journey themselves. Like most people who hear of a friend or family member we all get shell shocked.Paul to see. Paul was ad forever will be  a loved hero of the Somerville 🔥department Paul went to God last Dec 20th in his room in peace with his Christmas Decorations up IJanet and I was were honored to see him at  a mass they had in the chapel that we were invited too. At that mass the priest suggested that they could renew their wedding vows and they did. Now that was a big thing to do emotionally but it was incredible like they always were. He even stood up

As I began to say earlier . The first Hospice service was excellent in home but the information that hey could give us was very scattered due to the Hospice homes and the industry. Hospices home some have two level of care General like I am now but they have step up when my needs get even more necessary which clearly will happen. After our digging and our friends assistance we broke down the confusion and confronted the powers that be about our dismay over it. It got resolved. Our friends in New York are both as I said and have said  are involved in the medical business. Paul has over 900 ion staff in his company as Helen helped to run Bellevue hospital and I believe she is know doing the advocacy of all patients New York University  Hospital in.different hospices wanted to charge an entry fee. Which we could have done but thanks be to God Janet has wonderful insurance through work that covers my being here. The next thing we were told was that if I were to advance to the higher level that. I could be guaranteed a spot. I would have to leave and try to get back into a facility. It was ridiculous truly .

Part of the problem is that not everyone has both levels and I need them both. When the VN.A ..counselor  who interviewed me came came in for my evaluation based on my presentation mobility and how tiny my wife was and my size she said your going right now. My had already hurt her back twice in one week as I fell. My kids were running around getting me up the local police/ fire had to come doctors in fo took look and said nope you need to go now . Which I knew and she confirmed the ambulance had already been calledJanet  and my family that was there in our homage that time got us packed pronto.And, the ambulance arrved right away.

When we arrived hhere at the hospice home We were  met by the director of this house and we and asked her what happens when I get to the next level? Shie said you will get that level. And, we will never make you leave. You are ours now it’s a family it’s about you and your family. It was so beautiful. And gave us such peace.

The only little thing that upsetus here was that yesterdaythat my dad took a little fall in his houme ufortunately some of my siblings were there and unlike me my dad was able to get up on his own because of his age 88 and most 89 years young they called an ambulance to take him to be checked out to make sure nothing was broken or fractured. Thank God he checked out very well and will be back home very soon. He’s very happy about that👍😁as are we. God once again is good.This song below may seem a little melancholy but I look at them as a beautiful song and tribute to all of my friends including all of you who are praying for us. We are all connected no matter what faith. It’s Simple One God, One ❤️ Amen.

God Bless you all with much love ❤️ just danny

From a Different Perspective: #JustJanetSpeaks
Good Evening,

No, I am not starting my own “Just Janet Speaks”…Just have a couple of real-life posts that I would like to put out there for people who are in a similar situation whether it be now or in the future. 

First of all, I have to apologize because I wasn’t born with the gift of writing as my husband was so I’ll do the best I can. I’m writing for the same reason that Dan is documenting his hospice home experience…Just hoping to help people if and when it comes time that they have a loved one who becomes gravely ill.

I just thought I would talk about what a wife/caretaker goes through mentally and how I’ve made it this far by the grace of God and plan to stay strong even after Dan’s passing. This is probably easier said than done. It’s hard to imagine what my life will be like after he passes. I honestly can’t see past it at this time in my life but, unfortunately, I will know soon enough. I do know that he will always be with myself and my children to watch over us. He will always be in my heart. That’s what I truly believe.

Luckily, I have my faith which I tend to lean on during a time like this. Or let’s just say, I should be leaning on but, at times it’s really difficult and if you’ve heard me when I’m at my lowest low (which unfortunately a few close friends have heard), you would think I had no faith at all. When that happens, I have to stop and put things back into perspective. I have to admit that I am only human and I have questioned God many times during this ordeal. It doesn’t mean I’ve lost my faith or that I no longer believe in God. It just means that I’m human and as a human, we are all selfish when it comes to losing a loved one especially one who you feel is too young and too good of a person to leave this earth but, it is not for us to decide. Unfortunately, we have no control. Even all the money in the world can not heal such an illness. Look at Ted Kennedy who also had the same brain cancer that Dan has (Glioblastoma Multiforme Grade 4) who unfortunately couldn’t save himself even with all of his money. It’s a horrific disease that keeps on attacking and always comes back with a vengeance. 

I still find it hard to believe that it has come to this point. The time where there is no more treatment and nothing else that the doctors can do for him. I can’t say enough about the wonderful care that Dan received and the impeccable bedside manner that his doctor and nurses have over at Dana Farber and Brigham and Women’s. Just thought I would throw that in. 🙂 I’ve said to many close friends/family that it seems so surreal. This place looks like a fancy hotel…only without a pool….Sometimes I let my mind wonder and it could almost seems like we are just hanging out on vacation. It’s sunny and bright here with skylights and doesn’t have that hospital smell at all nor do you feel like there are germs everywhere and feel like you need to keep washing your hands. Luckily Dan is not in pain which I am grateful for. We have seen many suffer in the end with so much discomfort.

I’ve definitely been through all of the feelings that one has who is about to lose their soulmate. We have known each other 35 years and have been married for 30 of those years. 

I remember being so angry that Dan had this incurable illness. I felt that it was not fair and I was very angry with God and angry at the fact that we’ve already lost a son at two weeks old due to a rare heart defect. I was angry and felt like I’ve already paid my dues and why should I have to lose my husband now too. But, I’ve come to realize that everything seems to happen for a reason-we don’t always know that reason and sometimes we will never know..maybe that’s why we have a son in heaven?…just so that he is there to greet Dan, his father. If you read psalm 139 which Dan loves and quotes all the time, it basically says that God knows all before it actually happens in your life. In other words, God has a plan and he knows all.

As faithful as I am, I have had moments that I am not so proud of where I haven’t been so strong. I have to admit if I’m going to cry, it’s usually by myself for the most part at nighttime when I’m alone. Best time to cry right?! When no one is around right?!…So I thought!!!…until some random pizza guy rings your bell at 12:30 in the morning and scares you so bad that the tears turn to fear-true story! Who on earth delivers that late in Wakefield?! Apparently they do because he was holding a pizza but, had the wrong address. Normally, I try not to cry in front of the kids but, that doesn’t always work out too well either-sometimes it’s just hard to hold back. I’ve cried only to close friends who apparently I felt comfortable enough with to let out my true feelings, but, I know that it can be overwhelming for some people. I don’t want any of my friends to feel as though they need to be my therapist after Dan passes. I will seek professional help before that happens and take it one day at a time. I don’t want my time with my friends to be spent with them consoling me.

If Dan has taught me anything, it’s to be faithful and strong and to deal with whatever comes your way.

My advice to everyone is to live each day to the fullest and enjoy life because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Never take life for granted because life is too short. Always be the best person you can be and be kind and caring toward everyone. I wish you all the very best and hope that you never have to go through this. 

Stay Strong-God Bless!

Love,

Janet