The first thing I would like to say is sorry. A friend told me that my blog experienced a loss of some of the attached video files. I have no idea why. I spent about 5 hours restoring the blog entrees so that they function as I intended them to do. Just another challenge. 🙂
I will go further back into the blog all 270 or so and make sure that they all are in working order.
This blog needs to function as God intended it to in order to help others.
The plain truth of the matter about my personal life is this. I am a man in the dessert of my life at this moment and I am living this life challenge to the best of my ability.
I know God’s awesome power, I am living it. Up until 5 years ago you could ask everyone that knows me that I was the fun creative guy in the crowd who was just not very serious.
5 years ago God took my life into a different rhelm one that I never knew existed. Just as I was starting to try to figure out that whole experience my business slowed down and I now was facing economic changes in my personal life. After these two life events took aim and attacked my life , my mother fell gravely ill in the Spring of 2011. We spent everyday at my mom’s bedside until she went home the day before Thanksgiving of that same year. In the meantime the Spring of 2012 brought me terminal brain cancer. Since that diagnosis God again moved in my life and has made incredible things happen to me. My mom went to the Lord Aug, 2013 and even given my faith it hurt like heck and still does.
The next piece to my life journey is this blog. This blog is my third form of Spiritual writing that I have been called to do. I have to state again for the record that I am no writer. It is not a natural process for me. I am not an open book type of person but I have become one by God’s design. At one point I began to write that I needed to die to self. I have come to understand exactly what that means as I spilled my life out in my different writing endeavors.
I also know that this is my calling in this moment. I feel a sense of peace in my soul that this is my job for God. I am to witness my journey and his Victory in my life defeating an evil that attacked me to silence my voice.
I know that this is my truth. The other part of me Danny the average regular guy has struggled to keep up with all of these monumental life changes. It still seams like fantasy Island at times. I am being completely honest with you.
I needed the week away from this blog to just stop the process. I have spent time just being. I have spent a lot of time sitting before the Lord in the chapel.
It was beautiful but it is work keeping silent and stopping my mind from wandering. Silence also makes you take on the issues in your heart and mind very honestly. It is a tough and necessary process though. Life is easy when you drown out everything with work, noise, tv and music.
God does not call us to be constantly distracted , he wants our attention. He wants a conversation with us.
In the chapel I feel so peaceful. God is present. I opened my heart up to God in a very special way last Monday while in the chapel and felt a warmth surround me like I was being hugged it was breathtaking.
Moments like that are the reason that I believe that I am not crazy but I am human who is living an Spiritual journey thus I cannot fully comprehend everything that was and is taking place.
Times have changed so much. When I was a young boy my neighborhood had the nicest mailman. Everyone knew him and the kids and dogs thought he was great.
Sam would drive and walk his mail route. He used to take a couple of kids on his lunch break with their parents approval for a hot dog and ice cream. Then we would ride around in his US postal jeep and watch him deliver the mail.
Sam was married and did not have children. He was kind and always had dog cookies for the dogs on his route. He was giving out cookies to the dogs even through the mail slots. I remember he was missing the top part of his index finger. He told me that a dog thought it was a cookie. Lol
There was a huge saint Bernard dog that was so excited to see him and the mail truck on the street so he would bark, run off his porch to see Sam and he would climb into the jeep for a ride. Sam would laugh and give him cookies. On our way back out of the neighborhood he would stop and get the dog out and back on his porch. Looking back 99 percent of the things that Sam did 46 years ago would never be allowed now. But it was awesome. Sam also let us chew his green apple gum that he had. 🙂
I am grateful for the memory of this kind man. He listened to each kid that took a ride in his jeep or walked the route with him. He was a great role model for each kid that he took along for a short while on his route. We were not invisible to him. When we went to the dairy bar down the street for the hotdog,the man behind the counter would say hello Sam, who’s your friend today. So nice. 🙂
This scripture was from my bible ap. I could not have picked a better reading for this wonderful man. He did not have children of his own so he helped to raise others. What a great man. God Bless Him. 🙂
13 Who is there among you who is wise and intelligent? Then let him by his noble living show forth his [good] works with the [unobtrusive] humility [which is the proper attribute] of true wisdom.
It was an innocent time when I grew up where families were generally large and we ran all over the neighborhood and played. Our mothers and fathers had to get a check in call if we at a friend’s house. The parents knew each other and called each other as well. It was a great time where we as young children seemed somehow safer to move around.
I believe each one of us is the sum total of our life experiences. I believe that the kindness that I learned from my family and people like Sam the mailman equipped me with an awareness and need to let people know that they matter. In even the smallest way.
Life is beautiful and the people that we are encountering during our day should be validated. I don’t care if it is a check out person at the store, the person you hold the door for or the person on the bus. Everyone is lifted up just by being recognized. Just the fact that someone cared enough to share a kind word just means so much
What is there in life that is more important then to bless another person. To be Jesus to a young one on the road trying to find their way.
This song is for Sam who I am sure went to God many years ago.
The weather is changing, the days are longer and life is so beautiful so why not laugh. Just laugh and let the Spirit of joy lighten your heart and mind. Amen.
Hi All, I used these songs to end my day on Monday. I was lead to them after prayer and decided that they would be nice to share in this moment. Enjoy this beautiful Day. 🙂
Beautiful songs just enjoy. God is so good.
Yesterday: by , Mary / Mary
Laren Hill and Tanya Blount
This song reminds me of a lovely women that went to the Lord . God Bless you . C
I will not get into my day yesterday, in too much depth . Let me just say this. We are Blessed with so much. Through connections that only God can create. My story made its way through different health professionals and lay people prior to even starting this blog. It culminated with my being picked up at my home by a new friend that I knew only by voice. C, and she took me to Dana Farber because a very dear of friend of hers has been diagnosed with Glio Blastoma , brain cancer and she asked me to support her. My Dr. R, as God would have it is treating her/ my new friend as well. A is a very lovely lady with a beautiful family to support her.
God is connecting all the dots all the time. Connecting us all in a web of Mercy with relationship to oneanother. When I was not with A today while she had her scan etc, I found myself just sitting there. I thought to myself what are you doing? I began to pray for her and every person that crossed my path. I asked God to heal them from Cancer and all these deseases.
Sometimes we feel powerless, blue and like life is a non stop stuggle but I will tell you one thing. We are all so powerful because of our prayers. God answers everyone one of them. Life is once again in control. We have hope.
The woman today, A. her daughter C, and friend C were so lovely, I had never met anyone of them in person prior to today. But that is God for you ! They were all wonderful. I even had the pleasure of speaking to A’s husband on the phone for quite a while. What a wonderful man.
So in closing keep looking up and look for the opportunities that God sends you. In my responding to a request to support another human being, I was the one who was truely Blessed.
Thats how my next account begins. Dan as you are part of the experimental study with Saha or the actual name Veronistat we would like you to visit our Oncology Phychiatrist. I said all right. Never been to one but, if I had to go, then God wanted this appointment to take place. Plus the study info will help others out too.
So, we booked an appt with Dr. V for Dana F. the assistant came to get me and the Riley clan all went into this large office. 🙂
The doctor was quite lovely, she turned in her chair and smiled very softly, her hand grasped her glasses and said something like Oh, is it okay for them to be here with you and I said they are always with me. like the bible my witnesses and smiled, she said, I see. And she wrote something down on the clipboard. I will not pretend to know what 🙂
She looked a little puzzled like what is this? She began to ask are you depressed? I said no, I feel great, Gods got it. Again, a puzzled look was on her face she was looking at my families faces and they were like this is his natural state.( Thanks be to God) Dr V nodded at them. She bagan a series of cognative tests and I completed them and one highlight was when she gave me a list of items from different catagories and said remember these words. A while later I was asked okay Dan can you give me the list of words that I gave you to remember? Well, I began the list the best that I could and word after word came out she finally said there is one more word do you know what it is ? Very pleasently. I sat there and said, out loud , God ,what is that last word? I sat there and the word daisy came into my head. The Dr. Just looked at me and I said oh, he just said Daisy. She honestly looked shocked. That was the word. My family and I laughed and marveled at God’s being in every moment. That was the end of Session One.
She asked to see me again so I said sure. Gods knows the reason. The next Session Two, meeting with Dr. V was close up to me chair to chair and she asked me more questions a whole lot.. Her eyes were on me like a hawk trying to access where I am at and why. She was very kind, professional and was really working to see that my needs may be met and to measure the effect of the brain cancer on my body and thinking process. She was wonderful and one of these days If I bump into her again, I will be sure to thank her for her wonderful devotion to her patients including me. I just witnessed God and his glory to Dr V. and told her that God loves US all the same. She had watery eyes at times during my witness and I felt her humanity. God Bless her as well. That was my last visit and again God was showing her that he is right here in the moment and always will be.
For All Of Our Doctors, May God Direct Their Hands, minds,and medicines through the Holy Spirit to help all of us that suffer in any way with a medical or mental illness of any sort to be healed. Amen !
Hello, I have been out of treatment with cancer meds and radiation for for well over 1 year
This was my regimen back in that day. I hope it helps. I am currently on the lisinorpil 20-25mg, it is considered low dose for water and to make sure my bp stays as good as it is. , also I am still useing the omerprazole 20 mg tablet to coat my stomach. Thats it.
Daniel R-Medication Schedule-5/8/2012 TIME MEDICINE MG # OF TABLETS/CAPSULES DAYS 6:00 AM SAHA (Vorinostat) 300MG 3 Capsules 1X/Day (MONDAY-FRIDAY ONLY!) (clinical trial) With Food 7:00 AM *Zofran (Ondansetron) 8MG 1 Capsule up to 3X/Day (Everyday)No Food (prevents nausea/vomiting) (Every 8 hrs/No More Than 3 within 24 hrs!) 8:00 AM Temodar (Temozolomide) 165MG= 3 Capsules Together 1X/Day (Everyday)No Food Until 1hr Later (chemo drug) (1)140MG+(1)20MG+(1)5MG)=165MG MUST TAKE WITH WATER 9:00 AM – ALLOWED TO EAT FOOD NOW 9:00 AM Decadron (Dexamethasone) 2MG 2 Capsules 2X/Day (Daily Total 4MG) (Everyday) Kino Omeprazole 20MG 1 Capsule 1X/Day (Everyday) (prevents heartburrn) Mepron (Atovaquone) 1500MG 2 Sachets 1X/Day (10ML) (Everyday)Must Take With Food (prevents pneumonia) Lisinopril 20-25MG 1 Tablet 1X/Day (Everyday) (for blood pressure)
Radiation is 12:30PM on 5/8/2012 Radiation is 1:15PM on 5/9/2012 Radiation is 10:15AM starting 5/10/2012-6/18/2012 3:00 PM Decadron (Dexamethasone) 2MG 2 Capsules 2X/Day (Daily Total 4MG) (Everyday) Bed Time: Simvastatin 10MG 1 Tablet 1X/Day (Everyday) (for cholesterol) Zolpidem (Ambien) 5MG 1 to 2 Tablets 1X/Day (Everyday-As Needed) (for anxiety/insomnia) (Can Take a 2nd Tablet if He Wakes Up During the Night) Take As Needed: Colace 100MG 1 Tablet (Everyday-As Needed) (for constipation) Senekot Up to 2 Tablets 1X/Day (Everyday-As Needed) (for constipation) *Zofran (Ondansetron) 8MG He can take up to 2 more doses of Zofran (prevents nausea/vomiting) daily (no more than 24MG in a 24hour period/ every 8 hrs.) if he develops nausea 8 oz Water/Day……Total of 6 (8oz) Fluids/Day Including Water No Antioxidents/No High Dose Vitamin C
Please note I was fortunate to never need drugs to help me for depression and never received any psychotropic drugs. Because of my clinincal trial study I needed to see a oncology phychologist during my treatment and it was actually fun and I will write on this topic soon.
Lets kick Cancer in the back end, pray, believe !!!!!!!!!!!! God can do everything ! Faith.
If we stop for a moment and just think about, our lives, all those that we love, the air we breathe everything it is truely breath taking. Nature, trees, animals, insects, the sky with sun, moon and stars how much we must be loved by our God. We are living a daily Miracle. Please may the world wake up and pay homage to our Amlmighty God. And give him thanks for all they he does for us all. Amen.
Today, I wanted to stop and speak about a women who effected my life profoundly. I feel that she was brought into my life by God to witness God to me. Her name was Rosie it should have been courage, faith and hope. She was all of these plus more. She would laugh all the time . I met Rosie back in the 1980’s she was a client of my business and was a recent breast cancer survivor.She had her husband and two children. In the eighties she was in her early 50’s she remained in contact with various projects with my families business. She had been battling cancer that kept changing, she would fight it off and it would re-emerge. I / we in the business were very close to her and we became very good friends with her even coming to dinner at our home etc.
She was so heroic while in battle with cancer and was always laughing, saying this damn cancer and she would stamp her foot. She was so kind and absolutely loved her little dogs and her cat. She had a very tough upbringing of abuse and had a very nice husband and two children. I have never met anyone like her before and suspect that I never will again. She was caring, loving, broken and wanted to just love. We did a lot of projects in her home major and she was so pleased. She did to her house everything that she did not because she liked stuff, but because she was still trying to soothe the child inside who was never at home. She was in remission at this time. One day on a Friday it was the summer a car came into our driveway at work. I was outside the bldg with my brother and we looked it was Rosie she was coming up to us and we said hi Rosie, she responded I am mad as hell, I had to get out of the house, she said! I said whats wrong honey ? You know a few blogs ago when I wrote about the mind setting me off with worry years ago, well she had just found out that the cancer was back on fire again, her mind was wheeling and she coulld not stand it. I said Rosie come on into the office and sit down we had lemonade in the frig, she said okay. She went on to tell us thay they could not do anything for her cancer because as she said her bones were like swiss cheese from all of the treatments. She was 73 ( so young)
Looking back at my life I have been by a lot of peoples bed before they passed, and I believe that I was called to make sure that they were at peace. but again that is for another day.
Now, back to Rosie….
She was a remarkable women and only had an outburst once in front of me about her situation, and I as well as my brothers were honored that she trusted us and felt that we would understand. What people, everyone of us has to understand is that everyone one of us no matter what we do for work in our lives has a ministry of our own. So, I talked a whole lot about God with Rosie, I could see God in her and she recognized the Spirit in me. We were in constant contact from that point and I would call to see how she and her family were doing. She came to my home in Oct 2007 for dinner with her husband and I still count that dinner as one of most favorite memories here in our home. She was in constant pain and never complained, She ate very well. After a while she asked if we could go into my family room. She wanted to rest on the couch. I said sure. When we went into that room one of my kids was watching a little kid halloween show and she sat on the couch, my little dog’s took to her right away. They jumped on to the couch as kissed her, they were glued to her. She was laughing at the dogs and laughing at the cute show that was on television. She was a living angel. Her face stays with me and brings me so much joy.
Well, along came the Spring and things got really tough. She was drawing closer to her time and she was sleeping in her room the one room that never got done in her home. She got too sick, so it looked like the 60’s still. She had been insistent at that time to sleep in her bed. She went into the hospital for around 4 days days and God spoke so loudly to me, I talked to her husband John and said please I want to re-do your bedroom for Rosie, I have to it at night, if you don’t mind. My schedule was already booked.
I said I would complete it at no cost to them at all as a gift to Rosie. He felt bad, I said no, I really want to so do this, he said thank you. With that I began, I tore that room apart, stripped wallcovering, and completed remade the whole room with paint, new window treatments, assesories and bedding. You see, God called me to lift her and her entire family up in this moment. Rosie came home from the hospital and cried with joy. She called me on the phone a few days afterward and told me how she felt like she was finally at home.
Rosie continued her struggle eventually a hospital bed was brought into her livingroom and a nurse began routine visits. Rosie always fought on and would smile all the time with her beautiful blue eyes just beaming. I would say to her we have to offer the stuff up. We talked about God all the time, Heaven and her mom and a few other loved one that had passed. She had been a regular church goer earlier on in her life but had fallen away for one reason or another. But still loved her parish of St. Jerome in Arlington. She loved Jesus and Her Blessed Mother, too. Unfornutaely the church she attended St. Jerome was closed and property was sold around this time.
Their was one neighbor Mary who was her best friend and could not bare to see Rosie suffering for so many years. Mary was a daily communicant in church in another parish in Arlington, she moved parishes when St. Jeromes closed. Mary tried to get Rosie to go but she never quite got there. Well, Rosie was getting close to the point where God would call her and I said Rosie, would like to see a priest and talk to him? She said okay. When her husband came home, I had been there giving him a break. I said John Rosie would like to see a priest and she responded yes John. So he said okay Rosie, I will call. I said I will see you soon honey and left.
I went home and decided to walk the lake and pray. I got about 1/3 around the lake and my cell phone went off, It was Mary, she said I saw you leave Rosie’s and popped in to see her. She told me about the priest coming so I asked John and he said no she can’t do it she is too weak. Mary said, Danny can you please call the priest and get him there? My heart was on fire, I lost the breath in my lungs. I stood on the side of the lake where time stood still and Heaven took over ! I dialed directory assistance, and asked for St. Agnes Rectory in Arlington, they connected me. The secretary answered and I told her the story and Rosie’s desire for confession, eucharist and Holy oil (sacrament of the sick). I gave her home address and they said the attending priest would be there shortly. Next I had to call Rosie’s very strong willed husband John.
I Remember I could not even breathe so my voice was being forced out….This is the conversation with John.
Hi John this is Danny, There is a priest coming to your home very shortly from St. Agnes to see Rosie.. He said but she won’t see him, I said John, she said that she wants to see him. He said what do I do ? I said John when the priest comes to the door he will ring the bell, you will answer it and show him into see Rosie and if she does not want to see him then she will send him away . He said okay. I hung up and almost died myself. I had been so strong and bold with him which is not my way. But you see God handled him the way that he needed to be handled he was in his late 70’s very much my elder and was a very strong personality.Again God took over ! Thank God, he did !
About 10 minutes later my phone rang again, Mary was on the phone, she saw a black car pull up to Rosies house and a young priest run up the walkway. I hung up Mary had been crying with joy on the phone and I too began to join that celebration with my own tears.
Finally, around 20 or so minutes later John called me,( I was so afraid to answer, but I did) ) he was all excited. He said, Hi Dan ! I said hi John, he said I wanted to let you know that a very young nice priest came down from St. Agnes. Father G, I said I have heard about him. He then said, Rosie had a nice visit, I left and she had confession, communion and blessing of the sacrament oil for the sick. He offered to come again and she said great. He said thank you Dan. That’s Victory through God !
That was it , she then said, she wanted to sleep in her own bed so they took her up to her bedroom she was there for two days before she went to hospice. She was at peace though and that’s all that matters. She was good with God, ask my grandfather would say.
In life God will call us out of our comfort zones, if Mary had not gotten out of her comfort zone and listened to her calling then I may not have acted in Rosies best interest and her wishes would not have been met. Everyone deserves to be listened to especially as they are preparing to meet their maker.
I got a call July 4th, 2008 from John saying that Rosie had gone to the Lord.
Later that same morning….
I went down into my garage and was backing out in my car and I have a retaining wall with a flower bed at level with my eyes to the left. I looked and there was a white lily plant in full bloom. Rosie loved lilly’s, I went right in and told my wife. Rosie was a miracle in so many lives to so many people and I thank God for my Rosie. 🙂 That plant has never bloomed again.
God Bless You ,
Danny
This was her favorite song: Heres to Rosie, maybe we can all say a prayer for her. 🙂