Category Archives: lifes journey

Dana Farber Part two

24 Thursday Jul 2014

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That day of my ekg, lunch etc, Just as Dr. R had said his head nurse S, showerd up with pills at my next scheduled squeezed in appointment. She was around every corner. She is spectacular. I never had 1 concern, all day. I met with I believe my new  radiologist oncologist at Brigham and womens. Dr A , I called him the great!  He is  a young, compitent , kind and awesome doctor  with another superb team of of assistants. from his head nurse S and her assistant , R they treated every patient the same, amazingly.

I would be remis if I did not mention the lovely social worker. N who has been there since day 1 for us. Very Sweet and soft spoken but always professional and helpful.

I had to go in after my consult for either a scan or an MRI , I cannot remember which but they needed to map my brain so they could target the best way to eradicate the tumor with radiation.

The radiology staff  there where great. They have a lot to deal with daily and are responsible for making sure that every patient was comfortable and that their bodies were positioned just perfectly so that the equipment could target the desired location with radiation therapy and nothing more.  They try to only hit the target and not to kill any more healty cells. Quite a responsibility.

Next I went in and My Dr. A had a plaster mold mask made of my  face and head, a mold I guess you could call it. It was made of a plaster.Once the Drs decided the attack plan they mapped and programmed my treatment into their computers. I was ready to begin my radiation therapy on the tumor that I never accepted as mine thanks to Gods word. I had six weeks of radiations 5 days a week monday to friday.

I had it easy in my eye’s compared to my wife and family who took the brunt of the wear and tear, juggling schedules, work etc. Some driving miles to pick me up only to turn around and take me back in the other direction into Boston.  And then once again have to  drive me home from treatment. I would like to say again from the depths of my heart thank you for your sacrafice and constant love. You make life worth living. xo Many friends also offered to help me with rides etc. God in action for sure. Love to you all too.:)

My phantom mask, thats what I came to call  it ( again my sense of humor) , the plaster mask was now a strong perferated plastic mask that fit my face, skull and had snap locks that locked my entire head 100% in the exact position to the treatment bed so there were no slight movements possible.  BTW, I asked for that mask when I finished radiation, they said sure. I said I am a decorator so I will hang it on my wall. they laughed. It currently sit a plastic bag in my garage.

have learned in life that we have a laugh as much as possible. There is healing in laughter God created such a beautiful creation in us. Laughter, is truely a healthy thing it makes gray colorful. so I laugh all the time and try not to ever stop, sometimes it gets me in trouble and I have to hit the confessional. I remember as a kid reading Erma Bombeck she cracked me up. Remember If life is a bowl of cherries , why do I get all the pitts?

Radiation did not bother me physically for a while. And then, my left side arm and leg decided I am taking a break, see ya and I lost most movement and feeling. I also became very very tired Dr. R said I would and I did. On July 4th 2012, I went into the bathroom  while I was at my brother S  at his cookout. I dropped dropped something on the floor. I went to swat a little to get it off of the floor and realized as soon as I did this that it was a mistake. My image disappeared from the mirror as I took position on the floor quietly. Again, I am stubborn so I just laid there saying hum how do I fix this pickle I got myself into?lol  My brother realized that I was missing and came to the bathroom and inquired through the door, I responded I am fine, I am just here trying to get up. he came in and Still says he does know how he got me up by himself.As a closing remark, I has a chance to study the tile and decor and found it very beautiful . lol

 

I truely feel Blessed because I have the peace from God, my incredible wife, kids, family and so many wonderful friends love and support. Everyone rushing to our sides and everyone has lifted us up. The Spirit was and is so still so high. Life is hard at times but it is our families our faith and friends that get us through.

One  day in I guess it was maybe Sept ,2012  my family told me that they were going to gather here together at my home , something not uncommon for our family. You know, food, family it has alway’s worked for us.lol  My mom, dad, wife, kids, 3 brothers and my dear sister and all of those kids my brothers mother in law M where all here.  There were I guess around 20 people in the house. I was in my recliner, very tired but my Spirit was full of peace, my whole family was here! It was so nice.All of a sudden someone came down the hall behind me and was a dear friend and brother in Christ, A and he hugged me and kissed my cheak. He pulled up my desk chair and started to speak to me , what a surprise! i had not seen A for a while. I said to him what are you doing here and he said that he heard that I was not feeling well. He stated that  he was In the area and wanted to say hello. He gave me a Blessing and left. My brothers were sitting on the couch here in my familyroom  with my dad and one of my brothers said who was that?  And I told them. They were astonished by his presence he is a very good and Holy man. The Spirit of God just shines. God Bless A and his family.There were so many prayers being said for our needs that I swear to God you could feel them raining down on us. I still feel them to this very day. Our prayers for one another are the most powerful gifts that we have to give to help anyone.

So, A left and I was happy for the visit and prayer and blessing he gave me. A short while went by and My brother S had gotten up to leave the room and returned, he said Dan can you come in here. I was like ugh, I had no strength, and needed assistance to get down the hall. I went down the hall and turned the corner to the front hall. I could not figure out why I was being led there. What happened next is a Miracle no doubt!

My brother opened my front door, and what I saw was a little piece of  Heaven! Friends who are gifts from God had quietly converged on my quiet street on the side walk and lawn. They had candles on my front steps with the exception of the  top two.Their had to be at least 40 beautiful souls out there. They were holding candles in their hands.One of my brothers helped me out and led onto the the top landing and I sat against the left rail, They wrapped a blanket around me. Then Praise and Worship began, prayers songs, people were driving by and stopping, some people peered from their windows, and then one of our beautiful friends son came out from behind my pine tree and played amazing grace on his bag pipes. It was just so incredible. I remember, God gave me the message and I tearfully passed it on. ( joy was overflowing)   I said tonight is not about me. Thank you. God is healing so many of us right now and in what ever way we need to be healed.  I think my whole neighborhood was Blessed in that evening. God Bless all of our friends and of my home parish of St. Josephs and 2nd parish home in and retreat center of St Basils in Methuen.

My love to you all and  with God’s Blessings.

So anyway, ( I told you I am not an expert writer, back to the point! 🙂

I went to treatment for radiology of my tumor which was sitting over my central nervous system.I was losing ability rapidly which would explain why when I told Dr. R that I would come back next week,  it  would not have been a good choice on my part. The Doctor understood the whole picture, the process and short window for action, so thank God they pushed with love and concern If they had not, I mayu not be here in this moment.

I will give you the list of meds I was on as well. In the not too distant future so people especially who are going through anything similar will know what was used in my treatment. People ask me that question a whole lot. I know every treatment plan is different and there are always new trial med coming out . So the news is great for everyone! There is lots and lots of Hope!

Celtic Women. You Raise Me Up.

God Bless You, Your in my prayers alway’s,

Danny

 

 

Sactus Real Something New.

20 Sunday Jul 2014

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Sanctus Real Something New

This song represents so many aspects of my life. Even a Cancer diagnosis as I said before has a silver lining too. I have done so much of what this song and lyrics say. Please look at the lyrics, we all need to purhaps hit the reset button. I know life has done that for me , and I thank God that I was blessed with the adversity that helped me to find my biggest treasure, namely God!

We are all works in progress daily. 🙂

 

For 2 years since my cancer diagnosis my recliner became my place, my prision whatever I deemed it to be moment by moment. As I accepted my new life not knowing if my chair would be permanent location until death do we part. lol  Sorry, I do have a dark sense of humor and it makes me laugh. 🙂

Well I am out of that chair a lot more more often now. It is just my redocking station now 🙂 Praise God!, and the mantra what am I going to do with my life? along with the prayer, God please give me a direction! I said God whatever you want, I will do. Just so long as it pleases you and helps others. I would  be so grateful.. This blog was over  2 years in the making of praying and waiting. Waiting as I came to understand is what God required me to learn before he could answer me. I have so many people, family ,friends and medical people tell me that I needed to share this story, blog, put pen to paper, write a book, whatever. I just felt who am I to do this?  Then I thought it is the truth and for God’s glory. So why would God not have me write of this?  I figured God was useing all of my friends, family and medical people to give me my answer that I had prayed for and to encourage me to step in and respond to his call. I know the writing is helping me to find things hidden in my mind like thoughts,memories,sorrows,love,shame. Do I like all of these things?, Not all of them! But, that is not the point. The point is stuff in the shadows that lirk and play havoc in our lives and our Spirits are not good and are not of God. They are evil and keep us in bondage. We can be healed from these things. Drag them out into the light of God’s presence, pray on them and God will bring the healing to them and you will be made a new creation. Secrets and hurts are cancer in our minds, souls and the Holy Spirit and as a result I believe our physical health suffers.The child inside does not have to anguish forever, we have an obligation to that child to find him and her peace and fix and heal the wounds of this lifes journey. We are the children of the light, we are called by God to radiate our love and faith to all we meet irregardless to our personal story or struggles. Perfection is not required just a heart that is willing to serve. It is in helping others that we are healed.. With healing of our inner child comes a whole host of benefits. We find peace, forgiveness, self love, and allow The Holy Spirit to work in us and through us in a very harmoniously way honoring God and validating his love to those who need him. People are attracted to a peaceful spirit.  I sincerely hope these writings resonate with all of my brothers and sisters out there and that you too can find the healing peace of our Lord Jesus Christ/ God. Amen. These writings are Spirit Driven, with my love and kinship with you all at its core.

You are all in my prayers for whatever your needs might be, God knows who you are and what you need. Please pray for my family and this world we all need them.:)

God Bless,

Danny

Like a baby – I will finish up treatment plan1 treatment

19 Saturday Jul 2014

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Hi, I thought the song selected below fit very well with my situation as well as all of yours., We need to go through the bad times (valleys) to get to the mountain. It is like a baby that must crawl before he or she can stand and walk. it is a process. They end up falling and sitting down alot so cute.  Life is like that for everyone.We are  like a baby who keeps trying to stand up and yet we fall, have disappointments, illness, addictions whatever life can pick up and throw at us. We are human and make mistakes. It is part of free will.

It is my personal belief that God is on the mountain and he is in fact our Father. I believe when  he looks at us he see’s the child only, not the baggage and wrinkles or the years of ageing. The same way we reach as a baby for our parents hands to find our legs and stand, so to do we need to reach up to our Heavenly Father to keep us stable and upright. This is why prayer and talking to him and requesting this help and commfort is so important. He knows our issues, problems and needs even the things that we do pull out of the shadows.  What he is waiting for us to do is to ask him. If you needed your dad to help you, wouldn’t you calll out to him.? Of course! You donnot have to shout to get Gods attention, a simple silent interior prayer anywhere will work just fine. He wants us to rely and believe that he will in fact respond. He is our one true constant from this life into eternal life.

As i am sitting here I just looked at a placque up on my mantel.You know simetimes as a parent you wonder how much of what we try to teach our kids sticks? Well one day one of my daughters came in and said dad look what I bought . She valued what it meant and purchased it, that too me was Heaven. I love to see my children all coming into their own. And taking Jesus along with them. it reads…

Let your FAITH  be bigger that your fear.  The word faith is very over sized.

in an earlier writing I spoke how my parents chose my Roman catholic upbringing. That is true but having said that, I did go out in search of my truth and after a few years found myself back where  my roots were planted, The catholic Church and the sacraments that I truely love. And, having said that I totally believe that  there are a lot of beautiful communites and faiths outthere that  gather and honor God in with their  own traditions.

Fininshing up where I left off with my experience at The Lahey Clinic,The doctors there were wonderful as were the staff nurses everyone. God made his presence  known to all of the people involved with my case. Again, it is not because I am special, God is useing me as what I believe  ia a witness and reminder of his presence here. As I stated in an earlier writing that I believe that this is the time of Miracles. I can see them. And, I wonder how many  miracles happen daily where Gods angels intercede on our behalf. Like my shoulder and knee,” dawn did not break on marble head” for a while after I was healed of what I had received and the appreciation that i should have had to offer the praise not to the word Miracle but to the word God. All Praise goes to God.

There were truely amazing events that took place at Lahey, interactions ,events etc that I will share sometime in the future. I don’t write what I do not think that God wants to share . I feel now is not that moment.

 

During my appointment with the doctors my family met with myself and doctors and we decided that based on my situation Dana Farber would be the best solution to help me because of the number of clinical trials that they offered. I felt peace. During the consult Dr. D my Lahey surgeon said we need to get David on the phone right away. He took out his cell phone his assistant  called right there on the spot  and got an emergency appointment with Dr. D R in Dana Farber.. They said on the phone they had to meet me I was an excellent candidate because of my Faith and demeanor. I knew it was God, working in my life through these wonderful doctors and their staff. They were sensing the Holy Spirit that we all have, it guides us, soothes us, makes us feel bad when we are not good and it our own personal teacher. The Holy Spitit also rushed in with love that is immeasureable at times. Tears of joy! He helps to heal our hurts and is love.

 

I have to go my back is bothering me see, i am human too. lol  just danny 🙂

Peace and God’s love.

 

The Mountain of God. Third Day.

 

Love this song: casting Crowns East from the West

 

My treatment Part 1

18 Friday Jul 2014

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My treatment in regards to this cancer bout that I had started in my primary cares office the end of March, 2012. I had gone into see my doctor on Monday morning because on the previous Saturday morning when I got up I was making breakfast for my family and I was suddenly dropping things out of my left hand. I had to consentrate on what my left hand was doing in order to not drop items. I had made  it through the prepping , eating and cleanup without saying a word. I honestly kind of brushed it off. Like I have said Danny the dooer would never imagine such a thing as a stroke , whatever happening to himself which I think is a common thing for lots of people. I was in my own minds eye as strong as an ox.

Well, I went throuhout my day Saturday doing a million things that needed to be done, then off to church I went with the bride at 4:00 🙂  I say that because she is so cute. lol . Fast forward 8:30 ish p.m. in my kitchen with my brother and his wife Nancy and my brother said hey Danny, your face looks a little funny are you okay and I said yes, I always feel great. Everyone started to agree so,  Me being Me, I got up a little later from the table  and went into the first floor bathroom looked in the mirror and said aw oh (too my self). I have a sence of humor or personality where I just do not worry a whole lot. Maybe thats strange or perhaps it is a gift.  So, doing like most guys would do, I managed to sneak off upstairs to my second floor master bath closet and look for asprin purchased probably 10 years ago. I had never been a medicine taker. Alas, I found the low priced priced generic cure on the shelf, I took two of the little miracles and headed back to the first floor for dessert , coffee and a sip of denial. Everyone was saying we need to take you to the ER. I was like no, no, no. I feel fine.

Sunday came and proof that I was still alive was good enough for me , I was cured! Honest, God really must be constantly shaking his head saying, What have I done ? lol

So anyway, I am fibbing to my family all day Sunday everything is perfect la,la,la.

And, around came Monday. I though maybe I should go in on a sick call to see my doctor so I did.  My Primary care said, Dan, I think you had a stroke.( he is a wonderful man) I said okay.  He said I need to get you to a neurolist right away, so I said okay. Again, no worry. So I sat down and he came back and said I got an appointment at Lahey for one o’clook today with a neurolist on an emergency basis. I am guessing it was 11 ish by this time . So, I left and drove myself to Lahey Burlington and parked in the garage. As I walked from the parking structure to the main entry of the hospital it occurred to me that I should let my bride A, know  that I actually went to the doctor after fibbing all day Sunday and B, that I maybe had a stroke and was going for an emergency scan. My guess was right. I called her with my own cheerful demeanor and said hi, I said I just wanted to let you know I went to see Dr. W and he thinks I took a stroke, Don’t worry I am going into Lahey right know for a brain scan, it will be fine you do not have to come.  I said I give you a call when I get out. She said what! where are you ?  I am coming. So I went in, Janet flew in on a rocket I went in for a scan and the tests began . It was not a stroke or many other things they were ruling out one by one.

On April 6, 2012, I had the honour of going to Lahey Cliic with my neurologist Dr. R who again was wonderful it was my 50th birthday which made it particulary wonderful day and I had my lumbar puncture to check spinal fluids for cancer, or other markers, deseases etc. The beautiful thing to me was that I had to lay on my side for the procedure and in my left hand I held my pocket cross from Cursillo a beautiful community and retreat house St. Basils in Methuen. During the procedure, my cross fell out of my left hand and I did not even feel it leave my hand. My doctor lovingly picked it up and placed it back into my hand. Things were progressing quickly and still no real idea of what was going on. I went home and awaited results and became weaker and lost more mobility . The mail came and this little yellow cushioned envelope arrived. I opened it and it was my pocket cross it apparently made it way out of my hand, they found it and returned it to me isn’t that just beautiful. My dianosis day came shortly there after. and The team  explained that I had GlioBlastoma multiforme Grade 4 non surgical, with a very short life expectancy.

My next step was the awake surgery where the my surgeon doctor D. had to map my brain with Dr. R. to figure the best way to go in and try and biopsy the tumor they found. It was growing down into my central nervous system thus causing wide spread failure of my body.

So, I underwent the biopsy surgery and it was confirmed to me a grade 4. I went through the surgery with no drugs remarkably well. Thats God not me remember, I would not go to see my doctor normally, without fear it was the peace of God alone that sustains me to this day.

Well , I need to finish this for today it has been a long beautiful day, God has set me upon this path, writing ministry to help others and to fulfil my need to serve. I will continue with this story shortly.

Love and Gods Blessings be upon you.

Danny

Trust I the Lord Video

While I am Waiting

17 Thursday Jul 2014

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In my chair over the last two years, I have been in contact with so many people, many of which I have never met in person. Yet, the nature of our discussions cut direct to the quick as my mom used to say. I have more to share about my mom in another writing. She was a force to be wrecken with in a very good way. Like she would say, emmulated by some , surpassed by none, as she would  laugh. 🙂

I have prayed with them, shared with them and I truely believe that they helped to sustain me through what seemed like a very long winter. I in  return, hope that I was able to comfort them as well.  Some of them are still here with us and some have earned their reward and the Lord took them to a glory that I can only imagine.I do know it exists, God showed me glimpses of Heaven when I was at my sickest. Again, for another time they will be an emotional thing to communicate but it will happen. God gave them to me to shared at the appropriate time.I miss those who have gone before me and my heart is better having known them. They were courageous, God fearing, and good human beings I hope to see them on the day that the Lord calls me home.

Some  info on my first healing…

I had a spontaneous healing by God in the third week of Dec 2010 while praying.  I was working on a job site. My right knee and right shoulder were healed. I went to my doctor in January 2011 he asked about my shoulder, I had been in terrible pain for a long time but was afraid of the doctor, and surgery etc. My wife had to literally force me to go.

So on that day, my primary care doctor came in smiled and said nice to see you, hows that shoulder I said looking down I know this is going to sound weird but a few weeks ago i had a healing of the knee and shoulder while working and praying. He looked at me and said show me and I went on and showed the the painless movement he gently smiled, I said what do you think? He gave a great smile to me and said Praise God! For the first time I found out that my primary care provider was a believer which was wonderful but more importantly I realized for the first time I was so grateful to be healed (like I deserved it)?  No, what I realized is that the honor should go right back to God. I had kept it quiet because i figured people would think that I was crazy. Up to that point I had not realized the magnitude of his gift. I did nothing but pray for me, my situation, business was slowing down etc and he responded. I guess if I am going into this story I should paint the picture and take you back to the night before the event and keep it factual. Because God is  magnificent and the Holy Spirit is pushing me on to do so, here we go…

It was the third week of December 2010, Tuesday of that week…

 

Business was slowing a bit plus the seasonal lull, who wants workmen in their home right before Christmas. Thank God my brother Steve and sister in law Nancy did 🙂


  Tuesday, I loaded all of my painting and decorating materials into my vehicle and it was not easy my shoulder was humming. That evening I told my wife I was going over to Steve house to work the next day. I was doing a large amount of work, all raw plaster miles of ceiling’s, all new walls and trim. My wifes response was thats good then she said how can you do all this work with your shoulder? I said, I don’t know? I said we need the money . I said God’s just going to have to get me through. You have to realize that I could not even sleep good at that time. At night I would lift my arm above my head while sleeping all the time which only damaged my shoulder more. We even discussed strapping my arm to my side while in bed to stop myself from doing this. So, Wednesday morning rolled around and I got out of bed and off I went to my brothers home. I went trip by trip carrying and unloading back and forth until everything was out of my car. I said hello to Nancy’s mom who was upstairs to let her know that it was only me.

I proceeded into the work zone and had to sand everything with my extension pole,I do mean everything! To me it had to be perfection. They deserved it, like everyone I ever was blessed to work with.

December 2010 was the winter of never ending snow  if you remember. I was working in one of the areas where there was a bank of windows and as I was working the radio was playing and Christmas music was on, I gazed out the window onto the gorgeous lanscape of the abundance of snow and its beauty. I remember thanking God, for the blessing of this job and my heart was filled with  such graditude. The next thing that happened as God as my witness is as follows,

I was looking with my head out the window and heard in my head the word shoulder. I looked up stunned and realized both of my hands were above my head sanding the ceilings. i had an extension pole which requires both hands to do this. I had been working for around 3 hours at this pont, with no pain and did not even notice, very strange.  I said Oh…… And a serge went from my feet to my head 3 times the last time the breathe was knocked out of my body like an estacy, I felt overwhelming love and then took my good hand and began to rub my bad shoulder that did not hurt anymore, my knee was not grinding nor was it swollen. I cried and ran the stairs to share with Nancy’s mom Madeline. She was busy doing the rosary at the time. I was in the place where God wanted me that day, I was in a very prayerful place personally and my heart was pouring out graditude and praise to my creator. He ansered my prayers more that I could ever have imagined. I had a lot of pain for a long time and I am glad to have had that gift of suffering  because I grew and learned the word surrender.I also learned from my master a love that is not of this world.

If you could please for pray for

Lacey and her family lost their father who was a believer a very wonderful man. . He was battling cancer.

Also,

Please , keep in your prayers also a young man Steve who died tragically. I got word this morning. He was a wonderful man from a great family.

 

While I’m Waiting.

john Waller

 

Lifes twist and turns

16 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by in charity, Creator, faith, God, Holy Spirit, hope, inspirational writer/speaker, lifes journey, love, miracles, Mother, motivational writing/speaking, sacrafice, Uncategorized, wisdom

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My illness took me, a type A personality who never stopped and alterered my whole reality and my identity of who I was to myself, my family and the world. I went from super dooer to a person who relied on everyone especially my wife and kids, family and many friends for the majority of my daily needs. I remember the personal guilt of feeling as is if I failed my family and those who relied on me at that time. My mom and dad included. The fact that I could not work, and am  still not to this date, had really weighed on me . All the desires on my behalf of getting out of here have fallen short do to my slow but steady progress of recovery and the  rebounding energy drain from treatment etc. I am a Roman Cathoilc by my parents choice at baptism, by the sacrament of Holy Communion , Confirmation etc. Having said that,  I do believe is at some time in everyone’s life we are all born again. What I am trying to convey however clumby it may be is this. To me God, My personal God is waiting for us to personally meet him with a heart that yearns for him. I had always done the works before I had cancer. When I was a very young child I was a paperboy. On Thursday evenings I would go out deliver my evening route and collect the money from the customers, hopefully with a tip.:) I am guessing I was nineish. On Glen Ave in Arlington I had a number of clients, one inparticular has stayed in my heart and mind all theses years. Her name was Esther Sullivan. She lived in a second flloor apartment of a two family home. i would go up to her door ring the bell and there would be a buzz and the door would up lock for me. it was like Star trec or something. She could not do stairs easily anyway so, I would bring her paper up to her and her siamese cat would hiss at me.i though he was scary and exciting. His name was Tao. But, I digress. lol So anyways, during my visits. I would carry things in the kitchen because she was by herself and i wanted to. I began to spend a few more minutes there just talking to her about what ? maybe worms :)I then began to wash her kitchen floor her, I then went home and told my mom about Esther or in that day Mrs. Sullivan 🙂 My mom was making a cake at the time so I said mom can you make a little cake out of a small chicken pot pie tin, she was very compliant with my request and taada, Esther was getting a small cake weekly delivered in my mail bag on my stingray bike. The bottom line to this saga is this as a child our love and innocense guides so much. it is like the right thing to do is easily less complicated. Were just guided by God’s goodness and the Holy Spirit. As I got older personally doing good works and deeds became also combined with the fun of the crowd social aspect etc. Sorry was it really for God? The jury is still out. During my time here in a recliner ,I have had a lot of time to evaluate everything, not by emotion but by the Gold standard God, his teaching, commandments and what is this whole thing about meaning life. I do not know all the answers, i suspect I never will but I know the most important thing. God! He call us to love eachother the way that he loves us. God wants us to go to him for forgiveness , in my case that would be the confessional. because, I have learned that I need to forgive myself what i felt was my failure by getting sick and altering my whole families world. through my prayer, my confessional visits and a wonderful Priest, God has healed much more of my life that my body, my Spirit is awake and aware and the vision of myself as danny the person can love himself a lot more and accept that i did not bring this on myself. neither did God but he getting me through it one way or the other. He is the boss! He doing the very same for you all and always has. Well, One day I made my way to Esthers stairway rang the bell and there was no response after a few minutes, a man opened the screen door on the first floor and I said i was looking for mrs. Sullivan and he said she does not live here anymore. I still miss her today.Some times I wonder If she was sent as an angel into my life to see if I would respond to God’s calling. On a kind of sillier note I hope she was allowed to eat sugar and my little cakes were not leathal. Well in closing in Danny’s world here, I have made an effort whoever clumbsy to find God and it took diagnosis day when the Good Shepperd met me where I was at. We need to work our faith and pray even when we cannot feel anything. God will not fail to respond. And furthermore he will always meet us in the moment. Here is here. Feel the breeze on your face look at the beauty of a baby that you encounter it is that easy.

Carrie Underwood/ Vince Gill “How Great Thou Art” – YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW0QkOUjweM

 

Bless You and Yours, Danny

So, What is a miracle?

15 Tuesday Jul 2014

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So, What is a miracle? To me every one of is a miracle from conception to natural death. Even in my toughest personal times I have found that there is always beauty. Yes, it is true that I would not have desired to be striken by brain cancer especially for my family. I have been Blessed with a beautiful wife, four great kids and an angel in heaven. This is not the garden that God had originally intended for us all so it is what it is we all call life. The bottom line to me is that God has already saved us, by the shedding of his son’s blood upon the cross, that is of course my Lord and Savoir.

I personally do not worry about what will happen to me tommorrow. I have had so many wonderful people touch my life since my birth and I people always seemed to me to be a positive thing to my foundation and mind set. I have never felt that  I have had adversity in my life even throuhout this prediciment. People look at me when I say that but i honesty feel that to my core. I am not a victim.  We are all traveling the road of life and we do not always know when we will hit a corner, dead end, traffic light or intersection. Over two years ago with my diagnosis I came to an intersection. I got a sign by God’s stepping in and announcing to me that the cancer was not his and I did not own it. The sign on the road of my life read yeild. It was an immediate command and by Jesus Christ alone was I  placed into such a state of peace that has never left me. The doctors at first were thinking the poor guy is in denial or whatever but as they all came to understand that it is my real personal state not because of me but because of God. I reminded my doctor at  my last scan. God told us that I would be healed and he said yes, you did say that. My wife, while getting ready to go to one of my appointments said I have questions, I said ask the doctor anything that you need to ask him. So, off we went to see My Doctor and when we got into his office after my scan,  I said to the doctor and also to help ease my wife Dr. Janet has questions whatever the answers are don’t worry please just tell her. I am fine whatever the answer might be. It does not bother me. It was all about if the cancer  will come back ,signs to look for etc. The last question was pretty amazing. You know Doctors do not use words lightly mine included. I love my doctor and all of my doctors for that matter. He said he had one of his oldest survivor in the day before it was 16 years. After a few minutes and looking at my clear scan he said I think your one of those, he said he is like you just incredible faith. I took that as a word of knowledge from my Dr’s lips from God.  The bottom line is this and I love this saying,

God does not expect us to do miracles, he expects us to believe that he will ! 🙂

These doctors, nurses and medical people are very special. The are front line in so many peoples life stories in writings  done so long ago under the title love letters from God. These personal life stories were referred to as our own personal psalms. Like the Holy Bible Psalm #139. God know all about our days.Please read it when you have a chance it  gives me great comfort . He is the author of life.  I do believe that that is the truth. The free will of how we decide to handle our life situations will chart where our lives,faith, minds and ultimately where our souls end up.

In my situation, I have learned to see more clearly, yes, I have had down moments, i am a regular guy far from perfect. But, I can see perfection in a different way now. I have been  left with some left side disability. I was in a wheel chair, i then progressed to a walker, then a 4 prong cain and finally a single cain that i use when i go out to safeguard myself from a fall.

One thing that I do know is across the board every doctor and physical therapist i have seen has said just how amazing my case and continued healing is. You see God has begun in my mind his time of miracles and i believe they will only become more vivid so to get everyones attention.

I pray for everyone whether I know you or not because part of the silver lining on my journeys is seeing love in everyone, seeing the beauty in nature and the smells of the changing seasons. It is like I lost some mobility and others senses in my body woke up.

one fact that I really do feel and always have since D day (diagnosis) is that whether I live 1 more day or thirty more years is that I would not be one incling less of the miracle that God intended me to be. The same is true for each one of you too

One of the great saying that I was taught early one was this, I honestly cannot remember who but they said,  Yesterday is a canceled check, Tommorrow is a prommisory note, today is ready cash so use it and it just stuck with me.

I am not a writer so I will say this one time for however long this blog goes for, please forgive typos, comma placement, run ons, and popping back and forth between thoughts. It may not be pretty but it is real.  thx

So, in closing use your cash today and stay in the moment. 🙂  God is right here.

God bless You,

Danny

I have cancer, cancer is not of God, I do not own this cancer.

14 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by in lifes journey

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   7-14-2014

 I have cancer, cancer is not of God, I do not own this cancer.

      Those are the exact words that  came out of my mouth through the Holy Spirit of God in the doctors office. The doctor was just about to inform me that I had Glioblastoma multiform grade 4 and that it was non surgical. The words that God delivered in that room from my mouth sent an awareness like a wave of God’s presence in that moment, we all felt it. And, guess what?  He is with us in every moment that is why 2.5 years later I sit upright in my chair here, breathing, happy and more alive than I have ever been. You see the doctors know statistics like months to live and understand the deseases that what  they are striving to control and eradicate. They are very special persons. Their gift of the Spirit allows them to be the healing hands of Jesus. I told them through the Spirit that God selected them in this time to help me through his (Gods) medicines, machines,and their hands. All of theses elements are Spirit driven and inspired by our magnificent creator. For the record, I was 50 years old at diagnosis. I am currently 52 years and 4 months old. I am cancer free/ tumor free and am healing daily. They say its a miracle, I know its God.

 

This blog is for God’s glory not mine and I will contunue to follow up , fill in the blanks of this incredible journey that I have been on. I want to share one very common thread that binds us all together. God loves us all the same,  immeasurably . No one is any more or less  valuable than the other. He is our Good Sheppard , like my blog page banner picture dipicts anyone of us could be that precious sheep being help by Jesus. He will never leave or forsake us. 

This is the time of miracles so Believe!

So, if my blog helps even one person than my writing will have been expressly what God wanted.

God bless You!

Danny

PS todays , my first blog will be dedicated to my 86 year old dad. Today is his birthday, I want to be just like him when I grow up. 🙂