WE ALL LOOK TO OTHERS TO SHOW US THE WAY. IT IS PART OF OUR LIVES SINCE WE WERE CHILDREN. IN MY DAILY WALK TRYING TO GET MYSELF BACK IN SOME SORT OF SHAPE I SEE EXAMPLES OF STRENTH FROM OTHERS WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH MORE THAN I AND THINK GOD , WHAT AM I COMPLAINING ABOUT ? THE NEXT GENTLEMAN NOAH IS SUCH A EXTRODINARY WITNESS TO THE HUMAN SPIRIT. A TRUE HERO. HE MAKES ME FEEL THAT ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
Something that I meant to share earlier this week.
I no sooner completed my blog on Sunday March 22 nd saying that I needed to take a break from my blog and I then took out my bible and this is the immediate reading that was before my eyes. It is amazing that God responds so quickly to us in prayer. This is the reading…
Today is my 53rd  birthday. This day marks my first actual birthday since my mom passed so It takes on a special meaning. It is sad but also joyous because she was chosen by God to bring my life into the world with my dad. I know she is still with me and my family watching over and praying for us. Her love was too big to ever just end. Amen.
Also, today marks another milestone. I had my lumbar puncture 3 years ago today at Lahey Clinic in Burlington. During which time I dropped my pocket cross out of my hand onto the floor and the Dr. Put it back into My hand so kindly. 2 weeks after my appointment I received a small yellow,padded envelope in the mail from that Doctor and inside was my cross that I had dropped once again without realizing. What a beautiful act of kindness ,humanity and brotherly love.
My mom fought her own heroic battle with cancer and always said she was here to pray for me too. Our family spent hours in prayer together giving our worries of this life to God and celebrating his love for us all.
/So it is a day of great graditude that God has allowed me to be here in this moment to see a birthday  that was not expected due to my diagnosis.
I would also like to say thankyou to all that have prayed for both myself and family over the past 3 years. I will continue to pray for your needs as well.
During my week away from my blog Friday March 27th, I had a very beautiful experience. I got up at around 5 a.m. I ate showered and was at physical therapy by 8:oo am.
I headed to the church and arrived too late for the 9:00 am mass so decided not to interrupt the mass. The other fact was that the church was packed and there was no parking anywhere. So, I decided to get my haircut. I went around the block in the  car to find a parking space near the shop. The parking even on the street was full from the church parking over flow. I kept circling the block determined to find the elusive parking spot. Well, I found a spot at the furthest point of the church property on the street. I walked the distance all the way around the church and down to the barber shop and said great there is no one outside waiting at the barber shop. It’s a busy place 🙂
So, I went to open the door and realized that they were not opened yet. The little sign said open 10 to 8 pm so I said to myself shoot! I needed to wait for 40 minutes until they open. It then began to rain lightly and I was cold and wet. I was standing or weight baring as they call it and I get tired real quick so I looked at the bench that sits in front of the shop  and it was dripping wet. That would not work ! LOL
I thought to myself I have to go back to the car but I realized it was a long walk back and I knew that if I had walked back to the car that I would never have the energy to go back there for the haircut that day.
So, I said I am going to stand here and wait. I began shifting my weight and leaning against the building.
God’s plan for my day…. He has a great sense of humor!  🙂
While I was standing there in the rain, church let out. An older Irish women crossed the street and was walking by me with her umbrella open. As she walked by I said hello and smiled. I looked like a wet rat holding a cane lol. She smiled and looked at me and said whats  your name ? She looked very puzzled. I told her my name and she said, and Iquote  my God, I thought you were dead LOL OMG! We stood there laughing. She was apologetic over her statement I explained my dark sense of humor and that I loved it. I explained how grateful I was for God’s mercy and that my jobs not done yet. She said that the homily at mass was about Miracles and that I was her confirmation of their existence.She was blown away, as she stepped away we said goodbye and I looked up and another women was crossing the street and I recognized her. She was on my earlier blog writing nearly a year ago. She is a miracle herself!
N is a Chaplin who visited me when I was receiving home visitations as they thought I would die three years ago. She had come to pray with me when I was house bound and bring the Holy Eucharist to me. During prayer together here at my home she had a healing from God and is doing very well now. I said hi N, how are you? She said My God Dan? Â You look great. I did not recognize you. You are a Miracle I have to tell Robin aka my nurse that sat with me how good you are doing and look. She just kept hugging me. She was leaving and kept waving and blew me a kiss as she pulled away from the curb. I was like wow!
It was now almost 10:00 am and a man pulled up out front of the barber shop and the man got out of the car and I said ,oh no don’t!  lol  I am the first in line I have been standing here for 45 minutes. We both laughed this man had a very peaceful and welcoming demeanor.
He said absolutely I was just coming  in so my son could cut my hair and smiled. He then asked me,  did you have a left side medical term? I said I did not know what that medical term means  but I had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer almost three years ago. I said the women that pulled out of the space that he pulled into was a a hospice Chaplin that I knew. He said oh hold on, he ran to his cars trunk and got a book . He was an author and he wrote a wonderful book named The Mist Vanishes. His name is Stephen Brennan and the book is a Christian Caregiver’ s Guide To End Of Life Care.
There was a reason I needed to stand there that day in the rain. He  was a wonderful person to meet and the other two women brightened my day . I got my hair cut and walked back to my car . I also stopped into the chapel to thank God for my beautiful day .
You just never know what God’s got in store for us. God makes the ordinary extraordinary! Amen.
Day 2 of my week away from my blog I saw a pastor on a program talking about finding your God given gift and living out your life’s purpose. I was glad to be in the moment listening to his words. He said a whole lot of things that resonated with where I currently am at.
The process of living out your purpose  begins when we are very young. It could be that we are born with a special need that allows our parents, siblings and families a chance  to learn from us.
It could also be that we are born with a very special gift. A very smart young child or prododigy who can play the piano right away that effects the world in a particular way.
we all come with our own very special attributes. None of us have it all though either.
For me I began to ask myself when I was a teenager, whats life and this existence about? All of the heavy duty questions accompanied by the fears of whats goning to happen when we grow up. What would I do? How would I make my living? How would I meet the right girl? etc.
I had attentive parents and grandparents so I was able to weather that period. but it is a scary time when we are young. When my children were born in the back of my mind I remembered my personal experience growing up and watched for the stress signs if they were to arise in my kids. Each child is different but each one has lived through this process to different degrees. You have to love your kids no matter what and let them know that you are with them and will support them as they make their way on their own personal journey. One of the most beautiful parts of a flower is when you watch it bloom. Kids are no different, some flowers take longer to bloom but they all do with love and encouragement. They are all magnificent when they do too. Amen. 🙂
Before you listen to this song next song I would like to say that I do have a personal connection to this song…
It was my first St. Agnes School dance at age 11. I danced with Elizabeth Reagan and although I thought she was nice the magic was not there. lol 🙂 plus, there was like 50 kids at the dance and 85 parents chaperoning us. OMG
I think the fathers all had shotguns too. 🙂
God looks down upon his creation and wants to see us as a brilliant garden of love in service  to oneanother.
Todays we remember Our Savior who has died on the cross for human sin so that we could live life in eternity. It is a quiet day in our church one of remembering his sacrafice and fasting.
This morning, I received a beautiful email from my neice Stephanie. Steph stated that when she was on team at the retreat center of St. Basils last May a song was played that has haunted her. She finally found it.
It was an Easter gift from my neice to me this morning.  How beautiful.  🙂
I am aware of Laura Story, she is a very good song writer and singer. I have put  her songs on my various blogs over the last year including this song Blessings.
I never knew the back story behind this song so it is a wonderful gift to me. I understood every sentiment that she spoke regarding her husbands brain cancer.
Here is the back story.
Here is the beautiful song.
We need to approach each day with gratitude. We need to remember that we are being perfected by the fire of the trials of this life.
The human aspect of this process as I have experienced it is that you feel like a rubberband being stretched and the emotions vascilate from knowing Gods infinite love to well,  if God  is love then why am I still left with a handicap?
It could be that without cancer I could have been in even more trouble today by other things unforseen occuring to me . Who knows but God !
I came to a peace with this fundamental question long ago as it was reveiled to me through prayer.
I remember after contracting terminal brain cancer Glio 3 years ago. Yes, This is the third year anniversary right now !!!Â
I received a very real and clear understanding from God that I relayed to my Pastor Fr. Ron that I would be the best handicapped witness to God that he wanted me to be. Having said that I still do complain a little about what I can’t do. I miss my old life. The important thing is this, my mind has to reconcile itself to the heart of God. He knows best! Â And my life is still beautiful but in a different way.
The bottom line is this God gives us what we need to get us where we need to go. destination Heaven. 🙂
No one said life would be easy but, its beautiful nonetheless.
Perhaps we can all say a prayer for Laura and her husband as well.
As a follow up to my writing yesterday about our children. This song came up in my writings so here it is
Truer words have not been spoken.
Mike and The Mechanics.
This song is so true , you know scripture tells us this. Blessed is the peace makers….
Matthew 5 verse 9
9“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
We need to be the peace makers. I have learned through life experience whether I was right or wrong that the chasm needs to be at least attempted to be fixed. God calls us to get our egos and differences out of the way and let go let God.
We all have family stuff , we all have friends stuff we are living imperect lives with stress and problems. but we are also infused with the Holy Spirit that is the presernce of God within us. He can do things that we cannot. He will move us to greatness if we say yes and allow him to show us the way.
Never leave a word unsaid with anyone that you love because  none of us knows when that opportunity will come to an end.
The first thing I would like to say is sorry. A friend told me that my blog experienced a loss of some of the attached video files. I have no idea why. I spent about 5 hours restoring the blog entrees so that  they function as I intended them to do. Just another challenge. 🙂
I will go further back into the blog all 270 or so and make sure that they all are in working order.
This blog needs to function as God intended it to in order to help others.
The plain truth of the matter about my personal life is this. I am a man in the dessert of my life at this moment and I am living this life  challenge to the best of my ability.
I know God’s awesome power, I am living it. Up until 5 years ago you could ask everyone that knows me that  I was the fun creative guy in the crowd who was just not very serious.
5 years ago God took my life into a different rhelm one that I never knew existed. Just as I was starting to try to figure out that whole experience my business slowed down and I now was facing economic changes in my personal life. After these two life events took aim and attacked my life , my mother fell gravely ill in the Spring of 2011. We spent everyday at my mom’s bedside until she went home the day before Thanksgiving of that same year. In the meantime the Spring of 2012 brought me terminal brain cancer. Since that diagnosis God again moved in my life and has made incredible things happen to me. My mom went to the Lord Aug, 2013 and even given my faith it hurt like heck and still does.
The next piece to my life journey is this blog. This blog is my third form of Spiritual writing that I have been called to do. I have to state again for the record that I am no writer. It is not a natural process for me. I am not an open book type of person but I have become one by God’s design. At one point I began to write that I needed to die to self. I have come to understand exactly what that means as I spilled my life out in my different writing endeavors.
I also know that this is my calling in this moment. I feel a sense of peace in my soul that this is my job for God. I am to witness my journey and his Victory in my life defeating an evil that attacked me to silence my voice.
I know that this is my truth. The other part of me Danny the average regular guy has struggled to keep up with all of these monumental life changes. It still seams like fantasy Island at times. I am being completely honest with you.
I needed the week away from this blog to just stop the process. I have spent time just being. I have spent a lot of time sitting before the Lord in the chapel.
It was beautiful but it is work keeping silent and stopping my mind from wandering. Silence also makes you take on the issues in your heart and mind very honestly. It is a tough and necessary process though. Life is easy when you drown out everything with work, noise, tv and music.
God does not call us to be constantly distracted , he wants our attention. He wants a conversation with us.
In the chapel I feel so peaceful. God is present. I opened my heart up to God in a very special way last Monday while in the chapel and felt a warmth surround me like I was being hugged it was breathtaking.
Moments like that are the reason that I believe that I am not crazy but I Â am human who is living an Spiritual journey thus I cannot fully comprehend everything that was and is taking place.
Just Danny Speaks 