Its Friday, and its absolutely beautiful outside.  I woke up with a feeling like something was on my mind but what ?. I was just off.

I was in the middle of my coffee when my thoughts surfaced. I said to my wife, I am sick of it.she said what ? I said my existence. I get up I am trying and I just feel like I am not contributing anything. I went on a bit going down a laundry list of what I used to do and What I can’t do anymore.

What triggered this today, who knows. I would like to say it is a Spirit of discouragement working on me. I have been saying a few negative thoughts to myself. But our inner most thoughts even unspoken can chart a course for defeat.

I think I need to be honest with everyone on this Blog because I feel like it is one of the few things that I do daily that may help someone. Maybe?

I did 1 google search this morning ,  When times are tough…This is what popped up.

Tony Robbins.

What he said I understood, I believe it, I have been living it. But mine has a component of physical suffering. I offer up that suffering for Gods use by doing so  I feel like I have some control over this situation. That,  something positive is occurring from my life situation.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dbgCi6xlNqA

In a situation such as I am currently living an acceptance is necessary. But, how do I accept my plight without me feeling it as my personal defeat ?

I felt bad because my wife who does everything  and it so sweet was upset by my words. Negativity is not a thing that I generally exhibit. My wife is my rock. Janet is the epitome of goodness and class. So, I felt bad speaking like that to her today. She consoled me and just said Dan it will be okay. Then she began her chores. She has been poking in and out of here off and on to check on me. She does not tell me that, but that is exactly what she is doing. She is smiling, loving and beautiful. Thank you, God.

Being the guy, I want to do for her what she needs like I use to. Not drop worries at her feet.

I think that the past weeks news of being dropped from my physical therapy also threw me off balance. I put calls out to the places I was recommended to and I am awaiting a call from the YMCA livestrong Program.

Again, I know that the moment I find myself is temporary. I will shake it off. I have to.

I guess only when we accept the depth of our sorrows can we truely appreciate the beauty in the uplifting moments of this life.

Like I said this blog has to be real to be anything at all.  So. It is what it is.

I know Gods carrying me in this moment as he is  with you all too. We have to be in prayer and remind ourselves that he is.

Despair wants you hopeless, isolated and down. So do not set the stage by isolating yourself. Try to seek out the positive aspects in your life. They are there.

Builing 429 You Carry Me.

God Bless You,

Danny

In this life I have said and we all know that we face adversity and pushback. What do we do ?

We thank God for what we have.

Israel Kamakawiwo’ole   In this life.

And ….

We need to give it up to God and soldier on in the belief that the adversity will somehow be mitigated.

Today, my wife came in from work and was handing the daily mail.  She came in the family room and looked at me and said we received a four page letter telling us that your physical therapy is at its limit for your condition and there will be no more coverage for physical therapy. 

My wife being the amazing women that she is yesterday sent an email to Dana Farber to see if there were funds available that can help us to get the minimal amount of help to augment the cost out of pocket for me to go and get a visit or two a month to get stretched. She feared this day may come and alas today was the day. 

I have been very fortunate to this point getting the medical care that I have needed. It had been 3.5 years of nonstop treatment and care. My treatment started as I said before 3.5 years ago and included the awake brain surgery so they could grade my tumor. They could not remove it. You can only imagine the dollar figure spent with that procedure in itself.

So, I will not complain I wonder how many people have not had all that I have had in terms of treatment. True, my wife and I have paid the medical insurer but we got service provided to me. I honesty think that this is the way that medical care is going.
In the end Gods got it if I am to continue therapy to any degree then he will make it happen. I will do my due diligence and we will see where this situation goes:)
We all need to keep the chin up and walk on in this life and trust and expect only good things to come our way.  offer up all suffering to God for his use Amen !

Two songs have come to mind while I have been writing so, here they are enjoy:)

Elvis Presley, You’ll never walk alone

And the song I live by , it is my cell ring tone it makes me laugh! it is full of the attitude that I truely own. I defy life to keep me down !!!!!!!!!!!

Turn it up and feel it !  This is my belief. God Strong ! God gives us the gift of the Holy Spirit. We are empowered to succeed and overcome.   I ‘m Feeling Good !!

Don’t take life too seriously !! 🙂

What ever the problem kick it in the butt and walk it off!!!

Michael Bouble  Feelin Good !

God Bless You too !!

Danny