Saying yes.

26 Saturday Jul 2014

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Hi all, As I have come to age myself and  I am owning the fact that there is a God who is watching over me all the time,  has allowed me to grow in so many ways. The God of Wonders program the otherday spoke about how God stretches out the universe and it gets larger and gains yet more energy. My personal thought is that has happened to me in many facets of my life… I am sure in your too.

I was 100% physically able until age 50, at that point along came cancer and it was like aneclear bomb set to explode. But, it does not have to be. God can calm the seas of our minds, bodies and Spirit if we bring everything to him. We will gather a sense of knowledge about the situation. I guess we could call it an exceptance that it has happened and we need to focus on Victory through God. Cancer wages the war but God fights it for us. Thats my opinion.

But, I can also say that at times I can sit here in silence thinking about what life  was and what it  is today. I somethimes think I wish I could go back in time to be normal. The bottom line is no, I would not go back because with the physical limitations that I do have have given me a whole new perspective on me,life and what true success is. To be perfectly honest if danny 2014 went back to danny 2012 we would not get along. lol

I have heard people say things to me like,

People who cling to their faith are weak they need someting or somebody to tell them what to do.

Well my answer is pretty simple on that.  No one is controlling me, God gave me free will so If I choose to seek God’s guidance and rely on his Angels and Saints to chart my course so that I do not  toil over every little thing in my life knowing he’s got me no matter what, Then ,I ask you, whats so wrong with that ? I kinda think thats smart. I consider myself blessed to have my God, Blessed Mother, angels and Saints as my brother b would saying pulling for us! lol  Like my mom used to say, Knowing what you stand for, limits what you fall for.

We are all masters of our very own ships thanks to free Will, I choose guidance from God and Heaven to make safe passage to the next shore, I do not want to end up on the rocks.

Well, yesterday my wife , my son, and myself headed off for a few hours to the NH seacost and the beach. My son got one of the huge wheeled rolling chairs from the medical station and you can easily be pushed right through the sand.It was pretty comfortable too. I sat in it for around 3 hours, sunscreen, huge umbrella, snacks that my wife packed and water too. 🙂 life was sweet !

It was  beautiful weather. I sat remembering all of the many trips we took when our children were small here to this beach plus my personal memories of vacations here as a child year after year with my parents siblings, grandparents aunts,uncles and cousins. it brings back beautiful memories and a little bit of longing for those that are not here with me physically anymore.I personally believe that when are hearts feel that tenderness that they are Spiritually connected to us and are watching over us and praying for us as well. Love does not die, Jesus took care of that.

Well, from there my mind wandered and this thought came to me, agh , I can’t beleive this is my life. Negavity was making a go at me and you know where that is from.

The pitty party went on silently in my mind for a few minutes, and I raised my eyes to the sky took a deap breathe and said thank you God, for my life my beautiful wife and my children for all of my blessings and it was now time to get the wheel back before we were late to the medical office.

My wife and son packed things up and away we rolled off the sand and up on the concrete boulevard. I got onto my feet with my the assistance of my cane. My wife went to get the car and said stay here it is too far for you to walk. I was willing to try she said I will be right back. I like when she puts me in place like I am a kid. I makes me laugh . She calls me a brat.! lol

So anyways,I was standing on the corner of the side walk with my son and all the junk that I needed.:) I would say that  we were there maybe for about 5 minutes and suddenly this women from Denmark approached me and  said hello we are a orginization that originated in Demark we pray to the Saints and Jesus heals through our ministry work. She said our chapter is out of Canada.

I responded I know Jesus , He is my Lord and Savior. and smiled.

She then asked me what was my ailment was?  Eyeryone assumes a stroke, I just said brain cancer, well she asked permission to pray I said that would be great, so she began to pray with me. There were other 2 men from the ministry that were there too.They  began laying hands on my back , shoulders and head. There were a lot of regular beach goers people everywhere just looking and I was praising Jesus. They were wonderful, and brave. It is not easy walking up to someone you do not know to  offer to pray with and for them. That takes courage.  You never know what may be facing you.

So again, Yes, I had blue moments in the silence of my mind and heart while sitting on the beach and less than 1/2 later while waiting on the corner God showed up and offered me healing through those awesome people. My wife came around the corner and saw the crowd and said now what did you do ? Another Miracle , we were all laughing it turned my day around. 🙂

God Bless You!

 

Group 1Crew  He Said

 

Group 1 Crew . Forsaken

 

It’s hard when your young.

25 Friday Jul 2014

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Hi this post is for those who are particularly young and are following my daily post. I posted todays blog, God of wonders. I then sat back in my reclined and listened and watched it once again. I wanted to be in the moment with what I had just posted. I had very deep thoughts while listening and when the video was over got up and let my dogs Jessica and jerrimiah out. I walked outside on my deck and stood there for a few minutes taking in the sights, sounds and the beauty of the day. And up cropped a sorrow in my heart , I thought of all the young kids that are searching for God, the truth and what it means to you. Just remember its okay and God meets us all where we are at and their is not one  life problem that is too big  that God to handle. He is with you alway’s.

I just wanted to say that I know what is going on out there with the culture, tv,news, what it is being  tought and how hard it is for you all to see and absorb.. I know parents who’s children want to go to church and the parents are aware and tell me  they are lost in their day and it does not happen. What I will say to you young ones is number one , I am not a priest, I am not a deacon, I am a human being just like you , and you count! I have 4 kids, and their friends are like my kids too. I have a very noisy house LOL. I will try and select things that may help you make your way to your faith. Remember, you guys as children  may be able to open your parents up to the concept of their faith as well. Thats why God created families to love and take care of oneanother. Parents are so busy, working tending to your needs, bills, shopping, sports etc. Sometimes we as parents me included have difficulty carving out time for church and for themselves. So, maybe you can share this blog so they can too see my blog too. It is always important to share internet stuff with your parents.:)

Thats it, God Bless You,

Danny

 

This is especially for you guy’s

Aaron Shust  My Savior

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dana Farber Part two

24 Thursday Jul 2014

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That day of my ekg, lunch etc, Just as Dr. R had said his head nurse S, showerd up with pills at my next scheduled squeezed in appointment. She was around every corner. She is spectacular. I never had 1 concern, all day. I met with I believe my new  radiologist oncologist at Brigham and womens. Dr A , I called him the great!  He is  a young, compitent , kind and awesome doctor  with another superb team of of assistants. from his head nurse S and her assistant , R they treated every patient the same, amazingly.

I would be remis if I did not mention the lovely social worker. N who has been there since day 1 for us. Very Sweet and soft spoken but always professional and helpful.

I had to go in after my consult for either a scan or an MRI , I cannot remember which but they needed to map my brain so they could target the best way to eradicate the tumor with radiation.

The radiology staff  there where great. They have a lot to deal with daily and are responsible for making sure that every patient was comfortable and that their bodies were positioned just perfectly so that the equipment could target the desired location with radiation therapy and nothing more.  They try to only hit the target and not to kill any more healty cells. Quite a responsibility.

Next I went in and My Dr. A had a plaster mold mask made of my  face and head, a mold I guess you could call it. It was made of a plaster.Once the Drs decided the attack plan they mapped and programmed my treatment into their computers. I was ready to begin my radiation therapy on the tumor that I never accepted as mine thanks to Gods word. I had six weeks of radiations 5 days a week monday to friday.

I had it easy in my eye’s compared to my wife and family who took the brunt of the wear and tear, juggling schedules, work etc. Some driving miles to pick me up only to turn around and take me back in the other direction into Boston.  And then once again have to  drive me home from treatment. I would like to say again from the depths of my heart thank you for your sacrafice and constant love. You make life worth living. xo Many friends also offered to help me with rides etc. God in action for sure. Love to you all too.:)

My phantom mask, thats what I came to call  it ( again my sense of humor) , the plaster mask was now a strong perferated plastic mask that fit my face, skull and had snap locks that locked my entire head 100% in the exact position to the treatment bed so there were no slight movements possible.  BTW, I asked for that mask when I finished radiation, they said sure. I said I am a decorator so I will hang it on my wall. they laughed. It currently sit a plastic bag in my garage.

have learned in life that we have a laugh as much as possible. There is healing in laughter God created such a beautiful creation in us. Laughter, is truely a healthy thing it makes gray colorful. so I laugh all the time and try not to ever stop, sometimes it gets me in trouble and I have to hit the confessional. I remember as a kid reading Erma Bombeck she cracked me up. Remember If life is a bowl of cherries , why do I get all the pitts?

Radiation did not bother me physically for a while. And then, my left side arm and leg decided I am taking a break, see ya and I lost most movement and feeling. I also became very very tired Dr. R said I would and I did. On July 4th 2012, I went into the bathroom  while I was at my brother S  at his cookout. I dropped dropped something on the floor. I went to swat a little to get it off of the floor and realized as soon as I did this that it was a mistake. My image disappeared from the mirror as I took position on the floor quietly. Again, I am stubborn so I just laid there saying hum how do I fix this pickle I got myself into?lol  My brother realized that I was missing and came to the bathroom and inquired through the door, I responded I am fine, I am just here trying to get up. he came in and Still says he does know how he got me up by himself.As a closing remark, I has a chance to study the tile and decor and found it very beautiful . lol

 

I truely feel Blessed because I have the peace from God, my incredible wife, kids, family and so many wonderful friends love and support. Everyone rushing to our sides and everyone has lifted us up. The Spirit was and is so still so high. Life is hard at times but it is our families our faith and friends that get us through.

One  day in I guess it was maybe Sept ,2012  my family told me that they were going to gather here together at my home , something not uncommon for our family. You know, food, family it has alway’s worked for us.lol  My mom, dad, wife, kids, 3 brothers and my dear sister and all of those kids my brothers mother in law M where all here.  There were I guess around 20 people in the house. I was in my recliner, very tired but my Spirit was full of peace, my whole family was here! It was so nice.All of a sudden someone came down the hall behind me and was a dear friend and brother in Christ, A and he hugged me and kissed my cheak. He pulled up my desk chair and started to speak to me , what a surprise! i had not seen A for a while. I said to him what are you doing here and he said that he heard that I was not feeling well. He stated that  he was In the area and wanted to say hello. He gave me a Blessing and left. My brothers were sitting on the couch here in my familyroom  with my dad and one of my brothers said who was that?  And I told them. They were astonished by his presence he is a very good and Holy man. The Spirit of God just shines. God Bless A and his family.There were so many prayers being said for our needs that I swear to God you could feel them raining down on us. I still feel them to this very day. Our prayers for one another are the most powerful gifts that we have to give to help anyone.

So, A left and I was happy for the visit and prayer and blessing he gave me. A short while went by and My brother S had gotten up to leave the room and returned, he said Dan can you come in here. I was like ugh, I had no strength, and needed assistance to get down the hall. I went down the hall and turned the corner to the front hall. I could not figure out why I was being led there. What happened next is a Miracle no doubt!

My brother opened my front door, and what I saw was a little piece of  Heaven! Friends who are gifts from God had quietly converged on my quiet street on the side walk and lawn. They had candles on my front steps with the exception of the  top two.Their had to be at least 40 beautiful souls out there. They were holding candles in their hands.One of my brothers helped me out and led onto the the top landing and I sat against the left rail, They wrapped a blanket around me. Then Praise and Worship began, prayers songs, people were driving by and stopping, some people peered from their windows, and then one of our beautiful friends son came out from behind my pine tree and played amazing grace on his bag pipes. It was just so incredible. I remember, God gave me the message and I tearfully passed it on. ( joy was overflowing)   I said tonight is not about me. Thank you. God is healing so many of us right now and in what ever way we need to be healed.  I think my whole neighborhood was Blessed in that evening. God Bless all of our friends and of my home parish of St. Josephs and 2nd parish home in and retreat center of St Basils in Methuen.

My love to you all and  with God’s Blessings.

So anyway, ( I told you I am not an expert writer, back to the point! 🙂

I went to treatment for radiology of my tumor which was sitting over my central nervous system.I was losing ability rapidly which would explain why when I told Dr. R that I would come back next week,  it  would not have been a good choice on my part. The Doctor understood the whole picture, the process and short window for action, so thank God they pushed with love and concern If they had not, I mayu not be here in this moment.

I will give you the list of meds I was on as well. In the not too distant future so people especially who are going through anything similar will know what was used in my treatment. People ask me that question a whole lot. I know every treatment plan is different and there are always new trial med coming out . So the news is great for everyone! There is lots and lots of Hope!

Celtic Women. You Raise Me Up.

God Bless You, Your in my prayers alway’s,

Danny

 

 

From Lahey Clinic to Dana Farber part 1

22 Tuesday Jul 2014

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Off we went to Dana Farber for our second consult and my new and current Dr. Dr. R. When we arrived it was via wheel chair for me, we were brought into the exam room. Again, we felt nothing but warmth and compassion from everyone. There were a number of medical /clinical coats in the room standing against the wall, my wife, one of my brothers and my sister were present too. I had been helped up on top of the exam table and was sitting upright on the edge of the table my legs dangling down.( It is funny how life makes us at times feel like a little kid).

Dr. R knelt in front of me on one knee and put his hand on my knee and said we have looked at the reports and biopsy information from Lahey and said we agree with the diagnosis. Glio Blastoma multiforme grade 4, it is non surgical. What I realized as I look down into my doctors eyes from my table edge was that he was a truely compassionate and loving man. He did not make me look up while he was talking to me, he took a position kneeling so he could meet me where I was. I remember the peace of God as still just flowing over me and I announced to all of the staff there that God had told me that I had the cancer, cancer was not of God and that I did not own this cancer, I went on to say that God selected them in this time to help me through God’s medicine, God’s machines, and their hands with are the extension of Jesus Christ. we are all Spirit driven and we need to remember where  the Holy Spirit  is from. God! 🙂

I told them about my spontaneous healing in Dec, 2010 that was discussed with my primary care doctor in January 2011 during a physical. He has confirmed the event to be true. This experience that I am going to begin to share is going to be a bit long and I am finding now in this moment will truely be an excercise emotionally but I will continue in a number of writings because what has happened during this time sounds impossible and is astounding but it is also very true. Witnesses were everywhere during this time and nothing will ever be the same . God is revealing his presence in a very strong way with good reason. He wants a personal relationship with us.

So any way, My Dr R was kneeling down on one knee to comfort me, I announced the message God gave me and tears filled his eyes, I was so tired, I just wanted to go home. not upset like one would imagine I had no energy and just wanted to sleep. The team raced out of the room, and two seconds a women that I will refer to as My scottish friend came in as cool as a cuccumber and said Ok Danny the doctor wants me to get an ekg of your heart. I had been insisting on getting into my wheel chair. She gently laid me back onto the table my legs still dangling off of the table and off came the shirt, and on went the electrodes. She started the eeg and when finished helped me with my shirt. And off she went.  My family was  there all the while in that room with me. Its like the bible I always have witness or as I call the Riley clan with me lol  My scottish friend was rolling out of the room, I was being assisted into my wheel chair by my brother and my wife and Dr R’s head nurse S, came into the door closed it and stood with her back against it and said, We need you to stay, we have made calls and want to get more tests done while you are here. I said no, I said I am too tired and I do not have my afternoon medication, she tried to convince me and my family tried to get me to sway, I said thanks I will come back next week. She said okay and sprinted out of the room, I said c’mon lets go. We left the exam room, I sware to God I was leaning left in the chair, so weak. When all of a sudden I heard something and Dr. R was coming down the hall full seam ahead. I saw him look at my family and went to his knees once again, he put his hand on my left arm and said please Dan we want you to stay, I went through the whole I will come back next week thing , I don’t have my meds, my family had to go to work they have not eaten, I was tired. My family asserted once again that it was okay that they would call in to work. Dr R. said we have made all of the arrangements necessary and our radiologist at brigham and womens was staying as late as he had to accomodate me. He said we have all the medications you need in our unit we have meds for occasions like this he said okay:) Then he said why don’t you get a bite to eat and S, meaning his head nurse will see you in a while. I said okay and he patted my arm and smiled. It was yet another Miracle. There are mericales  like this happening daily in our hospitals and doctors offices, we are a Blessed country. and at times fail  to see them for what they are. God’s people are loving,compassionate and giving.

BTW, my ekg came back with a strange rythmn like there were two heart beats and that is because as my test was being done, and it was a stall tactic, my sister who was so devestated was holding my hand thus two heart beats . Just beauitful !

I am exhausted and need to stop for the moment. I will continue to write from this point tomorrow.

God Bless you, and thank you God for everything that give us all. Amen.

Chris Tomlin Thank you God for saving me

 

 

The Will of God

21 Monday Jul 2014

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I came upon this video after completing my blog entry today and after reciting the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Thats God showing he is in the moment once again. when you hear what father Clifford has to say you too will understand 🙂

Please  watch and listen this video it is 7 minutes long and it is amazing. Amen to this! I choose to live life God’s way.

Father Leo Clifford The will of God.

 

Amazing Grace

21 Monday Jul 2014

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Last night while lieing in bed my mind went through the days activities and assessed where God was in it . The moments that we learn  something or teach something to one another. Two of brothers and I were together for a brief  time  today to pay respects to a wonderful young man who tragically passed and his family. During our time together we discussed different things going on in our lives, this world, and our culture.

I finished my evening prayers, and laid there on the twilight edge of sleep and listened for Gods voice or word to inspire and soothe me. Well, he did but it had a hint of sadness to it which made me stir a bit.

God uses things that I understand to allow me to understand What he is saying in any given moment to me. It is the same for all of you as well.The Holy Spirit is working with us always. There is a response/ psalm that is used in  my church from time to time which stepped forth in my mind and I could hear it but the word and implication was different.

This is the whole  song version  , so it is longer than the verson we use at my church. It is haunting, and what God was saying to me last night was  why have so many in this world abandoneded him at the foot of the cross?   Is  it good that we wander off to face the wolves alone? I do not think so.  Life can be challenging.

here it is.

Responsorial Psalm 22:

Dandan Soy

 

God is our protection and there are forces darker in the world that would want us hopeless. I strongly feel that if had  not stayed stay at the foot of the cross with Jesus during my life It would have been impossible for God to heal me and build me up one again, my heart was open and hopeful.  Like a branch that falls from that the tree I would be dead not just physically but more importantly I believe that i would be eternally dead in my soul.

So, I needed to share this with you all.  I know it sounds heavy, but to me it is.

I want to always be honest in all my writing irregardless of how fantastic it sounds. bacause God  knows the hows,  why’s and whens. We just need to say yes.

Enjoy this next video, I love it

This video was shot in the ruins of the colisseum where meny Christians were killed by the lions just for amusement and because of their religious beliefs. Remember Daniel and the lion den?

Amazing Grace II Divo

my next blog will re in reference to Beginning treatment at Dana farber.

God Bless You ,

Danny

Sactus Real Something New.

20 Sunday Jul 2014

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Sanctus Real Something New

This song represents so many aspects of my life. Even a Cancer diagnosis as I said before has a silver lining too. I have done so much of what this song and lyrics say. Please look at the lyrics, we all need to purhaps hit the reset button. I know life has done that for me , and I thank God that I was blessed with the adversity that helped me to find my biggest treasure, namely God!

We are all works in progress daily. 🙂

 

For 2 years since my cancer diagnosis my recliner became my place, my prision whatever I deemed it to be moment by moment. As I accepted my new life not knowing if my chair would be permanent location until death do we part. lol  Sorry, I do have a dark sense of humor and it makes me laugh. 🙂

Well I am out of that chair a lot more more often now. It is just my redocking station now 🙂 Praise God!, and the mantra what am I going to do with my life? along with the prayer, God please give me a direction! I said God whatever you want, I will do. Just so long as it pleases you and helps others. I would  be so grateful.. This blog was over  2 years in the making of praying and waiting. Waiting as I came to understand is what God required me to learn before he could answer me. I have so many people, family ,friends and medical people tell me that I needed to share this story, blog, put pen to paper, write a book, whatever. I just felt who am I to do this?  Then I thought it is the truth and for God’s glory. So why would God not have me write of this?  I figured God was useing all of my friends, family and medical people to give me my answer that I had prayed for and to encourage me to step in and respond to his call. I know the writing is helping me to find things hidden in my mind like thoughts,memories,sorrows,love,shame. Do I like all of these things?, Not all of them! But, that is not the point. The point is stuff in the shadows that lirk and play havoc in our lives and our Spirits are not good and are not of God. They are evil and keep us in bondage. We can be healed from these things. Drag them out into the light of God’s presence, pray on them and God will bring the healing to them and you will be made a new creation. Secrets and hurts are cancer in our minds, souls and the Holy Spirit and as a result I believe our physical health suffers.The child inside does not have to anguish forever, we have an obligation to that child to find him and her peace and fix and heal the wounds of this lifes journey. We are the children of the light, we are called by God to radiate our love and faith to all we meet irregardless to our personal story or struggles. Perfection is not required just a heart that is willing to serve. It is in helping others that we are healed.. With healing of our inner child comes a whole host of benefits. We find peace, forgiveness, self love, and allow The Holy Spirit to work in us and through us in a very harmoniously way honoring God and validating his love to those who need him. People are attracted to a peaceful spirit.  I sincerely hope these writings resonate with all of my brothers and sisters out there and that you too can find the healing peace of our Lord Jesus Christ/ God. Amen. These writings are Spirit Driven, with my love and kinship with you all at its core.

You are all in my prayers for whatever your needs might be, God knows who you are and what you need. Please pray for my family and this world we all need them.:)

God Bless,

Danny