I have come to understand fear. I have never felt fear to a degree that I have been stopped literally in my tracks until about 2 weeks ago.. I now know it’s power.
Fear is not of God It is in my case an emotional thought run a muck. I triggered the reaction in myself about two weeks ago. I wrote about an incident I had while at the track when I was walking where I was so angry with myself about being negative plus being sick of my situation that I pushed myself to the point of nearly falling. It was only by the grace of God that my daughter showed up in that moment to assist me.
Well, as I have found since that occasion I am finding it extremely difficult to walk in areas that I have walked before. I fill with fear and freeze in place. So, I have found myself having to stop and remember the fact that I can walk and that I will be okay. My sister in law witnessed my freezing up while walking to the car and just said c’mon you ‘ll be fine. I was out with my wife and it happened again. I know what caused my traumatic memory, me. The fact that I was walking fast and was angry with myself and the extreme feeling of trying to stay standing with no one around me left a bad trauma in my memory which effected my psyche.
I ended up making my way to where I needed to go but it was sheer will that got me through.
I have never dealt with fear like this before so perhaps I needed this in my life so I could fully comprehend what it is and what some people live with on a daily basis.
Fear in my case is senseless because around my home and other places that I frequent I walk around normally. its just in new areas that are unknown to me
I know one thing I am going to face this fear and get this behind me. In my case it is my faith and the true reality of the fact that, I am okay that will get this lie to leave my mind and emotions and allow me to contunue the walking and healing of this body. Amen.
Fear is an emotion induced by a threat perceived by living entities, which causes a change in brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior, such as running away, hiding or freezing from traumatic events. Fear may occur in response to a specific stimulus happening in the present, or to a future situation, which is perceived as risk to health or life, status, power, security, or, in the case of humans, wealth or anything held valuable. The fear response arises from the perception of danger leading to confrontation with or escape from/avoiding the threat (also known as the fight-or-flight response), which in extreme cases of fear (horror and terror) can be a freeze response or paralysis.
When the fear came upon me my entire left side froze like stone. I have left side weakness and have tone issues with the side. I could not breathe either. yet, when pulled forward, I moved through it.
I found this good little explanation of what fear is and does.
After watching this video again I am amazed at how much his description and experience are similar to mine and perhaps yours too.
I have been in a process of discovery, learning a lot of bodily motions all over again. From balance through movement. It is a long 1″ at a time victory. I have been called a slow motion miracle. As I have said before I am grateful to God and everyone that has assisted and prayed for me.Thank you and God Bless You. 🙂
I do not write or talk too much about my wife. She is a sweet, quiet private person. I will say this though I absolutely could not have been given a better gift of a wife. Without her I would not have made it through this whole ordeal. She has carried my family and has done so with such beauty and grace. Now she will kill me for writing about her but I needed to give her the credit and God the glory of his goodness to me, my children and our friends.
During my week away from my blog Friday March 27th, I had a very beautiful experience. I got up at around 5 a.m. I ate showered and was at physical therapy by 8:oo am.
I headed to the church and arrived too late for the 9:00 am mass so decided not to interrupt the mass. The other fact was that the church was packed and there was no parking anywhere. So, I decided to get my haircut. I went around the block in the car to find a parking space near the shop. The parking even on the street was full from the church parking over flow. I kept circling the block determined to find the elusive parking spot. Well, I found a spot at the furthest point of the church property on the street. I walked the distance all the way around the church and down to the barber shop and said great there is no one outside waiting at the barber shop. It’s a busy place 🙂
So, I went to open the door and realized that they were not opened yet. The little sign said open 10 to 8 pm so I said to myself shoot! I needed to wait for 40 minutes until they open. It then began to rain lightly and I was cold and wet. I was standing or weight baring as they call it and I get tired real quick so I looked at the bench that sits in front of the shop and it was dripping wet. That would not work ! LOL
I thought to myself I have to go back to the car but I realized it was a long walk back and I knew that if I had walked back to the car that I would never have the energy to go back there for the haircut that day.
So, I said I am going to stand here and wait. I began shifting my weight and leaning against the building.
God’s plan for my day…. He has a great sense of humor! 🙂
While I was standing there in the rain, church let out. An older Irish women crossed the street and was walking by me with her umbrella open. As she walked by I said hello and smiled. I looked like a wet rat holding a cane lol. She smiled and looked at me and said whats your name ? She looked very puzzled. I told her my name and she said, and Iquote my God, I thought you were dead LOL OMG! We stood there laughing. She was apologetic over her statement I explained my dark sense of humor and that I loved it. I explained how grateful I was for God’s mercy and that my jobs not done yet. She said that the homily at mass was about Miracles and that I was her confirmation of their existence.She was blown away, as she stepped away we said goodbye and I looked up and another women was crossing the street and I recognized her. She was on my earlier blog writing nearly a year ago. She is a miracle herself!
N is a Chaplin who visited me when I was receiving home visitations as they thought I would die three years ago. She had come to pray with me when I was house bound and bring the Holy Eucharist to me. During prayer together here at my home she had a healing from God and is doing very well now. I said hi N, how are you? She said My God Dan? You look great. I did not recognize you. You are a Miracle I have to tell Robin aka my nurse that sat with me how good you are doing and look. She just kept hugging me. She was leaving and kept waving and blew me a kiss as she pulled away from the curb. I was like wow!
It was now almost 10:00 am and a man pulled up out front of the barber shop and the man got out of the car and I said ,oh no don’t! lol I am the first in line I have been standing here for 45 minutes. We both laughed this man had a very peaceful and welcoming demeanor.
He said absolutely I was just coming in so my son could cut my hair and smiled. He then asked me, did you have a left side medical term? I said I did not know what that medical term means but I had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer almost three years ago. I said the women that pulled out of the space that he pulled into was a a hospice Chaplin that I knew. He said oh hold on, he ran to his cars trunk and got a book . He was an author and he wrote a wonderful book named The Mist Vanishes. His name is Stephen Brennan and the book is a Christian Caregiver’ s Guide To End Of Life Care.
There was a reason I needed to stand there that day in the rain. He was a wonderful person to meet and the other two women brightened my day . I got my hair cut and walked back to my car . I also stopped into the chapel to thank God for my beautiful day .
You just never know what God’s got in store for us. God makes the ordinary extraordinary! Amen.
Another milestone yet today in the process of getting my life back on track.
I am on the road once again after completing my road test.
Life is a highway. Rascal Flats.
It took months and lots of tests to gain that right since my terminal brain cancer diagnosis. But I am cancer free and passed all the requirements easily. I was told that I was more capable of driving then a lot of other driver that are currently on the road Because I had extensive testing in order to earn the right to complete the competency road test.
So, my son took me for my license today he was my sponsor 🙂
My first license was when I was 16 in my papa’ s car with my dad so today nearly 36 years later my son took me for my license reinstatement. How awesome is our God. I am so proud of my son too. It is something neither one of us will ever forget. 🙂
So my son took me today for the road test and it is done. I am now back in the driver’s seat. The feeling of freedom that it gives me is incredible. I thank God and I am very thankful for those in my life that encouraged me to push hard and go for it.
It was a long drawn out ordeal. But it was well worth it.
I definitely drive better than my friend below. 🙂
Toonces the cat.
AND…. LOL
Remember Toonces from years ago? He was on Saturday night live. SILLY.
Growing up when I did in the good old USA.during the late 6O’ s and seventies was good because God blessed me with a good family and specifically a mom and dad who were very much in step when it came to parenting and they had a United front.
We as kids were not part of the adult conversation. There were parameters set where mom and dad talked and decisions were made and that was the end of that. As we got older, they would allow us to be part of the conversation on things related to our own life journeys. We were given the dignity of our decisions. My parents allowed us to wobble and fall down a little too. It was a process of maturing and we had to evaluate the pro’s and cons and what net effect or consequence of what our choices would have on our lives.
As, my wife and I have raised our kids I often reflect on and now appreciate more fully the true amount of love, work, prayer and financial investment it would take to get our children to be ready to greet this world. To be a solid person, one who is self sufficient but not self centered. One that is optimistic, and see’ s the hope in the situation. Good Godly people. Amen.
Now, there is no such thing as a perfect parent because we have our own stuff too . The stuff that matters the most to any kid is love. Next in my view is stability. Kids need to know there is a constant in their lives that they know whatever happens you have them in your corner to support and love them.
Two adults who create a family need to step up and give what they have been blessed with the best and give a child stability,love and knowledge of God. Amen.
Toby Mac family
Having said that parents in my point of view do not need to bail their children out of every situation that they get into. My feeling is that we can try to help to guide them with biblically correct ways to correct the situation. That way they learn and can grow from it without it ruining their futures, self image or the image of who they are before God.
God loves us all, he does lot love the sin. But, a honest heart felt repentance and confession of sins makes us new before God.
We as kids can feel frightened and feel instability in our lives .So long as we have stability that is in fact in place for us, we will be fine. In others words even me a 52 year old kid when my life flipped upside down almost 3 years ago my life was very unstable but what my parents instilled in me from my childhood has allowed me to acknowledged that the instability exists but it did not shake my foundation. I owe my stability and feeling of love to my mom and dad , grandparents and countless others who have touched my life. They were and are God’s Blessings in my life. Amen.
My parents raised myself and my 4 siblings in the time period that was Woodstock, free love, and anything goes. I remember my parents struggled to get us through that period without it changing who we were. The culture was so powerful and the images of the day were pretty jarring.
My wife and I have dealt with the same stuff with our kids only now the culture is so connected because of the technology. The crap comes at them non stop.
I am grateful to God that my kids are almost there,they all are almost fully grown. That they know who they are, and are finding their own way. We guide and support them them but ultimately they have to pray on their decisions and make them on their own.
Being a parent is a true labor of love. They are part of us, they represent our personal best and perhaps our issues that we passed along. They carry our personal dreams for a beautiful ,peaceful and loving world with God as their father.
I saw this except from Michael Keaton on a news show today and felt very much in tune with his message. The message was old but it was made new. Love, sacrafice and devotion of parents.
REMEMBER, ALWAY BE GRATEFUL. ITS NOT HAVING WHAT YOU WANT, ITS WANTING WHAT YOU HAVE GOT. ( LYRICS FROM CHERYL CROW SOAKING UP THE SUN 🙂
Hi all, as part of my little blog, one very important element that is regularly used through the guidance of Holy Spirit is music and video from many different genre’s.
As I work on my blog daily I go into a zone, prayer and talking to heaven. I will save phrases and titles that I receive and save them as ideas as they come to me. They generally inspire another topic choice or thought direction.
These phrases, words and inspirations can sit for a long time and all of a sudden they are in front of me again with a writing that correlates with the heading. I am never disappointed by what God reveals. One of the things that I do everyday after publishing a blog entry is to go back to read them once again to see what was written the verbage, it’s spiritual nature and overall message. Anything that is on this blog must be natural, honest and not forced. Otherwise it is not for God’s Glory. Amen.
Once the writings are done the final step is to add the music, video and scripture.
The phrase during prayer that came as a title months ago that arrived again today was GOD ONLY KNOWS.
And today this piece of the blog arrived. Watch this link and I will wrap up this blog entry after you view. This song is very fun 🙂 it is also very true! …
God only knows.
There is no greater gift from God that touches us even while we are in our mothers wombs than sound, and music. It creates a connection with our mom’s , dad’s voices and the sounds of the world. Songs are the glue that helps us to relate events and memories whether they are sad or happy and lock them up in away that they are ours forever. Part of our personal life tapestry.
Music can make us jump, dance, laugh and cry. When in school music can make you a band member creating enduring friendships.
Music regarding ones Faith will bring you closer to your God.
Music helps to soothe us and to express our emotions.
God gives us this special gift of the music through the Holy Spirit.
I believe music is given to us because it reminds us of where we are to go. The bible speaks of legions of angels singing and the angels all praising God at his throne through song.
This song is wonderful, the Spirit of God at work for sure.READ THE LYRICS GOD IN ACTION. 🙂
Just Danny Speaks 