Tag Archives: faith

God Takes over part two

30 Wednesday Jul 2014

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I had just completed surgery at the Lahey Clinic, the awake surgery as it is called. I did very well by the grace of God only. The doctor addressed me and then stepped out to tell my wife and daughter that things went well. He told her what he had told me. I was taken up to a room shortly thereafter. I went to the restroom in my room and got into bed. remember, I had no surgical meds in me so I felt great and was busy with my family coming in and out visiting me. I had a tv on the swivel arm it was a whole  new world to me. lol  I know my nephew Stevie when he was in the hospital some time ago told his parents he wanted one for his room at home . Kids are the best!

I ate dinner, and relaxed, I ordered my family to go home 🙂 My wife was exhausted and I felt great. So they agreed and I was left with the tv, it had a radio too lol. My cell phone was sitting on the little table. I got quiet and began to pray and reflect on the day. The doctors and nurses where in and out and there was nothing to report. Everything was hunkey dorey. 🙂 Well my cell rang at around 730 ish, I am guessing it was and My friend who happens to be a Catholic deacon and lives in the big apple said , Danny how are you?  I responded never better, So I told him what had happened that day and he said just amazing, Dan what your telling me is just reinforcing my faith so much. He understands this is not the norm and he works in the medical field.  So, I hung up with my friend and began to pray my rosary once again and I received a text. One thing that I have come to understand is that God is working Spiritually on every one of us literally every second that we are here on Earth. The only requirement on our account is to work at our personal relationship with him. God has perfect timing after all he is the author of life. This next account would give anybody shivers.

So, I am laying their minding my own p and q’s as my mom would say.  I get a text hey danny, how are you ?

I responded hi  how are you ? I am doing great!

she responded can I call ? I said sure

One other point that I would like to share before I continue is that the only reason that my friend at this time had my cell # is that we worked together. I had changed jobs into her department and schedules were staggered for arrival time and I felt bad she was juggling two boys and work. I had offered to come in on all of her 5 am shifts and cover for her, For the record she never took me up on the offer, she gets things done. We also never spoke outside of work. You see God knew that she needed that number for just this moment! So she had it and I had her in my address book, I do not answer calls that I do not recognize.

My phone rang, I answered and she said Danny, did you end up having surgery? I said yes, and  that I was in the hospital overnight . I said, God has it,  I feel great…

Now some background on how I met this person.   Because of the slowing economy one year prior to my diagnosis which would have been  the spring of 2011  I took a job at a local Home Depot part time to close the gap and to try and stay ahead of our monthly expenses here. I would be up at 330am and punch in before 5 am. I would work until 10 am , then go off to my clients homes to complete their work usually working to around 7pm. Speaking as a man, I have always believed that a father has to lead his family by example, so work and sacrafice should be the norm. My father witnessed that to me and is the finest man I know. And finally, by nature of my Catholic Faith, I am called by God to lead my family Spiritually.morally and ethically. God does have a standard. It does not mean that I have always hit that mark but God knows, I do try.

Let me state for the record my wife always lead with me, and when I was at my weakest SHE took everything over ! So women can do exactly what a man does without the ego of course! LOL, I don’t think I’m getting back any of that power back either! So funny! she is small but fiesty. xoxo

Well, during my time at home depot I met so many wonderful people from all walks of life. I met a very nice person ,  I/we value her as a wonderful family friend now. This person worked side by side with me at work for the last  think  about 4- 6 months or so while I was at home Depot prior to my illness. She has/had  a really  protective shell, she is very bright, witty,smart and tough. I am easy going but agreesive in sales and I love to work. My typeA personality really shows up. I honesty love working with people and love to fulfill the clients needs. To give them more than they barganed for so they will build on that relationship with me. You have to be sincere all the times. So, things were tough a lot of people there were having their own worries, doesn’t everybody? I would walk around the building on breaks and connect with others supporting them, offering my prayers. Their we’re lovely people there doing the same for me. 

My friend, foe at that time called me  Danny sunshine or something to that effect. She called me a phony on more than one occasion. I just did notlet it bother me. I was always giving it up for God and would tell everyone offer up the stuff and suffering. She would say to me ,you piss me off. LOL . I would laugh with my co workers and say, you love me, she would snap no, I don’t. You know what, I appreciated that she was /is authentic she said what she felt and that was great, I said God tells me different. So this continued for a few months, I was always hugging everybody, it my nature and way anyway. She saw me with clients in action. You have to practice what you preech, people are watching and listening. As a matter of fact, I feel that if a person is phony with people and proclaim that they are God fearing that this action not only does harm  your relationship with God and our soul but this action can also destroy what people who are searching for God the opportunity of meeting God through you! I believe that we are accountable for our failures of not helping others. We are the fisher of men after all.

So any way this person and I really ended up having a good relationship at work, I loved her for who she was and respected her. She could not figure me out and  thought I was nuts and that too was fine with me. 🙂

God had ordained this situation for us both to learn. And,  back to the account , She calls, and we are speaking about surgery and she broke out in the most beautiful deeply routed tears from her soul, it is called a healing, another miracle as far as I am concerned.. She continued to cry, and said you don’t understand Danny its because of you that I believe in God. You told me that you had to go through this and were not afraid, I can’t believe, well any way that conversation was beautiful and we hung up. I sat there on my bed and said oh, I still have not finished my prayers yet . I said a special prayer for my friend.  With that my cell phone slipped on to the floor so I did what any brain surgery patient would do, I rolled onto my side stretched down to the floor to retreve it. How stupid that was  now that  I am remembering it but, it was for a purpose. after I finished my prayers I thought of my friend and I had a message from God for her, It was now around  after 9:00. I sent a text hey-, I just finished the rosary and before you go to bed tonight say a special prayer to God,The Holy Spirit and the Blessed Mother ask them to reveal to you that they are in the moment with you.They will.

She called right back saying OMG. As, I sent the text she was on the knee’s beside her bed asking for God’s presence she had not done this for years, so my text and her action proved that God and heaven were indeed there in that exact moment. Joy burst her heart . and she was on the road again towards the cross. Our God is an Awesome God! He loves us all so much 🙂

Finally believe it or not…..

A man came into my room at around 10 ish,  I was suppose to be in a slumber by now. But, I was still going strong.  I guess you could say that I was God strong. 🙂 He said, hi I hope I am not disturbing you, I said no. He said he was the head Chaplin. I said oh that’s  good could I get the Eucharist please, he apologized and said he was not Catholic, I said okay:) So he said can we speak? I said sure , he grabbed the chair and sat beside me. He said there are a lot of people who are talking. They are upset, patients, staff here etc, can you tell me what happened earlier downstairs, what they had witnessed.  I said nothing, I had surgery and smiled. That is the moment that God through the switch on in my head to realize what  God was truely doing through me. I declared to him that it was God, and we spoke for a few more minutes about the events. He thanked me and gave me a Blessing and he left.

As a side note, a few months later a women approached me in my church who is a eucharistic minister at Lahey and said her boss, the one I was talking to that night had been speaking about my witness to him and she said I know him. You see we are all connected.

I will be  putting a very special psalm onto my blog in the next day or so . God revealed this psalm to me nearly three years ago in writings I had done in the Holy Spirit. It makes all the peices of our lives fall togeather. We really have no worries.

The day after surgery, I got up put the shower cap on to protect my wound and hopped into the shower, all by my onesies, I survived but the nurse said, I should of just let know. oops  That does make since but then again, I felt so well. I was going to be discharged and the bride was coming to get me.lol

I ate my breakfast, watched the news, the team of doctors came in and one was a women she was so lovely her presence was very kind. I am guessing she was assisting the doctor or surgeon the day before in the OR. You know with the gowns , breath masks and hats it is hard to deceifer who is who .lol

What happened next is the gospel truth,

 

The doctors came in and they were assessing me, and I said I don’t think I can go back to what I was doing before. ( meaning work) because, I realized my left side was effected and I said do you think that there might be a job here somewhere for someone like me? I need to make money, and I want to help others, they all looked shocked, I had surgery not 24 hours before but God is hope, God is our protector the Holy Spirit was helping me look forward by his grace to a future and I was not living my diagnosis!

She started to get emotional and said, I told my husband last night what happened in the hospital yesterday. Then she said excuse me and left the room. She came back from her office with some  information that I could look into, she said you can’t think about work right now you have to fight this illness thats what matters. I thanked them , God Blessed them and they departed the room. I sat on the bed my wife was there by my side the whole time. After a short while  the nurse came in with my discharge instructions. He was a very kind person also and after I signed the discharge papers and he hugged me , I thanked him and said God Bless You , he hugged me again and said no one wanted me to leave. What God was doing through my illness was showing his glory. People were not responding to me. What they were responding to was the Spirit of God it is just that simple.

God Bless You All!:)

Danny

p.s, I am taking a couple of days away from the blog to recharge, God’s  time. 

Hillsong: Still

To God Be The Glory , God Took Over

28 Monday Jul 2014

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To God goes the Glory! That is for sure.

Today I am going to share some down right Miracles witnessed my many people including my Surgeon Dr. D included at Lahey Clinic in Burlington back in 2012. I wrote of my Lahey experience back a week or so ago. I also said at that time that there were things that I could not devuldge at that time, again it is per what I feel God wants to speak of. He knows the why,I am accustomed to it now. God is always right. I feel peace from God and I know that today is the day to begin the account.

I will list the events and you will see God in them all.

Some of this stuff might be graphic to illustrate what the events were. So a little warning, I am not working from a script or draft of any kind, I am working through the Holy Spirit and he is live from heaven lol. I assure you he will get this account right, he was with me then and and he is responsible for my making it through this process and witnessing God to everyone. I personally take no credit for the following factual account. He is with us all and always has been.

For my brain biopsy procedure to get  the grading  of my cancer. which was  a grade four Gleo and it was non surgical. Meaning, it could not be removed.

1.) I was brought down to the pre surgical unit to have a surgical metal crown installed on to my skull, It was heavy and had two peices. I was backed in on my gurney into the small prep area. It had a wall behind me, a curtain that drew to either side of my bed and the corrider in front of me that was wide open. There were people in the other beds and parking spaces all around me sorry, I told you I have a dark sense of humor. So any way, I was cranked up to a sitting position. The doctor and assistant were behind me. There was a nurse standing at the foot of my bed to the right side watching me. She had a very almost sad look on her face probably because she knew what was to come. The doctor said okay Dan we need to get going sorry we can’t do anything for the pain I am sorry, The Holy Spirit was there and responded it’s okay,

Next, I felt the weight of piece number one of the crown being placed on my head and then the sound of the drill.  He said okay Dan and I felt the screws going into the back of my skull. I could be wrong but I believe there were four screws around the circumference of my head. I remember feeling the pain and what God and the holy Spirit did was amazing .I  said oh, I can feel it and next the pain was gone and out of my mouth came Oh, its okay I am fine praise you Jesus, thank you Mary. I am speaking of My Most Blessed Mother. As I said before their is one God and many different churches. I as a  Roman Catholic we do not worship Mary but we do venerate her and Honor her because she was chosen by God above all women  to be The Savior Jesus Christs Mother which happily makes The Blessed Mother my mom too .It gives me great comfort, and I pray the rosary and chaplet with her daily for you all too.

Each screw went in and the same thing happened I could feel it announce the pain and The Holy Spirit would announce the same, its okay now and begin Praise to God, and thanked The Blessed Mother for her assistance. The nurse looking at me was fighting tears back. She was actually backing away from me a little into the curtain behind her.

If you know me you know my voice does not require a microphone. What I did not realize at this time , but then again, why would I have? This  pre-op department was not just for brain surgical procedures alone the man laying directly across from me was witnessing the crowning and the praise and worship service directly.  He looked like he was frightened and yet mesmerized by what God was doing. There was a women beside mecurtain # 1 to my left, sorry again for my humor, who was saying to her staff whats happening to him they were trying to calm her. Apparently everyone in the unit was listening and heard it all .( I will explain later in detail )

The next thing after part 1 of the crown went on my head  they said Dan we are going to put the top of the crown on now. it screws into the bottom of the crown.The Spirit responded okay.Not one tear was ever shed.

Well I was crowned and the doctors said okay we are ready So, out of the bed space I went and as I was rolling out with the medical team the doctor said Sorry Dan the crown is heavy, we will try to help support it. The Holy Spirit announced through my mouth no problem, I have a strong neck. The Holy Spirit greeted everyone in that pre op ward. I rolled by  like it was in a parade and Blessings were coming out of my mouth through the Holy Spirit The people were all in shock seeing me smiling they looked like they had seen something out of this world and guess what ? They did! Not  because of who I am but because of Who God is. The evil of cancer picked on  me, and God decided to show everyone that he is here with us all. I will say this yet again, This is to me the time of miracles for all of us.

My miracle is not again about me. God loves us all and as far as to why I am here and why God has  not taken me yet, I feel honestly that perhaps he has granted me extra time to get myself ready to meet him. Perhaps it will be tommorrow or 30 years from now. I do not know and who does ? What I do know is he loves us more deeply than we could ever understand.

Into the hallway we went on our way to MRI. You see the crown that was placed on my head is necessary so they can do an MRI on my brain to map how to go into my skull to get a biopsy sample from the brain tumor. The Holy Spirit even gave a God Bless You greeting as they rolled me down the hall. There was a staff electrician changing light bulbs in that hall that stepped asside so we could pass. He looked shocked as I greeted him. We got to the MRI suite and the staff went in to give the information to the staff inside the unit that two minute window where my wife and I were waiting in the hallway my cell phone went off, my wife had it with her, I nonshalontly said to her who is it? She said its mom, (my mother) I said, I’ll  take it, I will never forget the conversation , Hi mom , how are you she said good darlin , My mom said I just thought I would check into see how your day was going.  I said good mom, I am just on my way into the store to get a few things it was getting late in the day, so she bought it. She said okay honey, I let you go, she told me she loved me and I responded the same to her and we hung up. What was really something is that while I was talking to my mom the MRI staff had come out and was waiting to bring me in for the test and heard everything that came from my mouth and their hearts were on fire. You see, God shows courage, kindness and love all the time the Holy Spirit was giving me the grace necessary to do Gods will to help others in a very special way.  The Holy Spirit was in control with God. You see my parents were not told a word about me until we were certain of what was going on. My mom when she realized later on that I was actually in the hospital at the time of her call to me cried and said that she did understand why I did it, but  please never do it again.

So, the staff took me in and transferred me from the gurney to the MRI bed and the test was done, my brain was mapped. They were all thanked and Blessed as I left by the Holy Spirit, (sounds crazy huh ). But it is true.

next

They took me directly down to the surgical suite, I gave my wife a kiss and one of my children had come to be with my wife, everything was happening at lightening speed.

I got into the OR  there was Dr. D and another surgical associate standing with him above the head of my table. There was an anesthesiologist at the foot of the bed. It was explained to me again, sorry Dan this is called the awake surgery, we need you to be awake so you that you can respond to our voice commands. Because damage can happen to your brain we need to know if our probe is damaging the brain or something to that effect. We cannot for that reason give anesthesia for this reason for this surgury. I remember the Holy Spirit was in control and I was very calm. He responded to them okay. The Holy Spirit went on to say to the doctors and all the medical staff, thankyou, for helping me, God chose them in this time to help me. The anesthesiologist was looking at my face and I could see that she could sence something not of this world taking place and was filled with joy, and perhaps a little fear only God knows. She broke in and said don’t worry Dan, when the doctors complete the biopsy, I can give you some  meds like they use when you have a colonoscopy they are like twilight drugs that help you forget some of what you went through. okay, I said that sounds good thankyou. The next thing that happened was they put a mask over my face/ visor it was clear like a window.

The doctor D then said Dan, we are going to be cutting into your skull a spot that is what you will hear and feel okay, again I was calm they were monitoring my heart and everything stayed on an even keel. They took a small piece of black fabric and covered my clear visor, obviously they were going to making small hole into my skull and they did not want to get my viser dirty which potentially could upset me.The little saw or drill started and they again kept talking to me softly to soothe me, they were all wonderful. God had put me into such a deep peaceful state.The doctor said I am sorry Dan I am now going down behind your eye it is going to hurt, I felt that pain for sure. The Holy Spirit took over he announced  it okay the pain is gone and out came the Holy Spirit just like in the pre -op department saying  Praise you Jesus, Praise you Jesus , thankyou my Blessed Mother and so on , the doctor said okay Dan please move your fingers, and a couple of other commands.  I said okay, made the rquested movements and he said good. At that point I laid there with no drugs, no pain and I was doing Praise and worship and thanking them all for helping me. I could not see the doctors faces the whole time but I did see the face of the anesthesiologist she was beautiful and extremely moved by what God was showing her and God only knows what the doctors faces were doing behind me. She could see them. In those units they can talk a language with their eyes without uttering one word .

So anyways, I was laying there the doctors were putting in stitches to close the wound. I am laying their with the black cloth on my face mask and I could look down on an angle and make out the person still at my feet.  Out of my mouth I swear to God,  I said  Luke, I am not your Father from  the Starwars movie, thats what I felt like with my black mask on Dark Vader. Everyone began to laugh and the anesthesiologist had tears in her eyes. She reached forward, and removed the fabric and my visor was then clear once again. A few minutes later she announced that they would not bother to give me the twilight medicine because it was possibility that it may make me feel lousy or tired. I had done so well and they did not want to do that to me. i said okay, I felt great.

When the surgery was over,stitches etc the Dr. D came over to me and said, incredible Dan in 30 years I have never had a patient not cry, and behave in this manner during this surgery. I said it was God not me, again it is my feeling that that God was useing my illness not just to mend me but to show others he is here. With God anything is possible. He is shaking people up and I am just so fortunate to be as I have called it a passenger on the bus where God and The Holy Spirit are allowing  me to witness things in a much different way than I normally would have been able to .Why God is allowing me to witness and experience this is only for him to know. It is not because I am any different than all of  you my brothers and sisters out there.

I will continue this soon,

With Love and prayers.

Danny

When you feel alone, even when you are in a crowd.

27 Sunday Jul 2014

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I was thinking over the last few days about all of the worry and thoughts that race through our minds. Have you ever been sitting there relaxing in a chair peacefully and then a thought or worry comes from left field you literally have to get up and walk it off. It used to happen to me me from time to time a couple of years ago. I was also able to happen to me while being in the midst of a gethering of some sort.  For me, it was usually based in business and family related issues.  It all stems from scheduling issues and trying to juggle work schedule with my wife and kids. On top of that my wife and I were helping with the care of her mom and dad. So, things were so busy. I could be in a chair one moment relaxing and a troubling thought or worry based emotion would throw me off the chair like a top. I would some times get out of the chair and try to walk it off. You also cannot run from your mind as I came to learn. These events would essentially make my brain freeze like an overload.( I know we all have them) I needed to get a grip on what was going on!  I think doing too much sometimes makes us feel good and successful. But in hein sight If back in that day I had been more rooted in God and was not trying to be all to everybody and save everbody that it would have been a healthier thing for myself and others. We need to trust in God. If, we are doing things from the heart then God is in it with us. But, we need to know his word, the bible before we can be successful. I was in so much personal pain and nobody really knew what was going on inside of me .Remember I was the face of an A personality. Everything was fine outwardly but inside I was burning out, I was mastering my ship onto the rocks. My drug of choice was food. it became my personal joke. The first one at the buffet table I would laugh but it really was not funny to me, it was shame with a laugh attached to it.

During my healing with this cancer illness and combined with writings I had done for my church. A  calling that I received from God  to sound a horn of a warning to the church and later an email chain from God to his people to turn back to him they were called love letters from God. It was also back at that time that I  began to be enlightened through the Spirit and learned more about who I am the good and the bad aspects.  I have to share it all in this blog as I said before this is my chance to tell God’s story of victory not just for me but for eachone of us personally. Some of the stuff that will come out with blog  is just so fantastic and  it is what it is, the glory of God.You see prior to 2012 and the onset of this illness I was under the wrong understanding of what helping others is all about. I did not realize what I was doing at the time but it was hurtful to myself, my family and yes even to those I thought I was helping.

I  came to realize after many years and once I began to write in the Holy Spirit that I cannot save anyone including myself. Jesus saves us. We are called to be Jesus to oneanother. We need to pray for eachother, support etc, but we also have to give everyone the diginity of their own decisions. We can show a way if asked to help someone  but cannot always drive them there. It is their free will choice. God knows where they are truely at, far better than we do.

God speaks of helping in one of his parables that you can show a man how to fish, but we are not required to feed them forever, meaning that he does want us to help and support them  but we cannot carry them forever. If they are not handicapped and are capable of course. They will never learn to find who they are in God for themselves. God gives everyone very special gifts of their own. Their is so much diginty that a person derives in taking on their destiny and seeing what God has in store for them! While I was playing God with these people they were carried and did not learn, I was handicapping them with love and assistance. It was when I hit the wall, and realized I could not do anymore that they were forced to get up and get on and find their way. My mom and dad would simply say to me you are doing too much! And, it was true, I was.  My wife was trying to stop me but again, me being me I had to learn for myself, I  needed to learn and  be humbled. What I did was done out of love but it was not done with the right understanding of God’s teaching. It also depleated me , exhausted my wife and made life messy.

My wife and I recently had the pleasure of having lunch with  very dear friends, our friend said that she kind of had to retreat from everyone but her family and husband. She was spent at the moment and needed to recharge. She too is a doer, and really tries to help out everyone. They have hearts of gold. So, God Bless them.

I had so many people as I said before in another writing say that I needed to tell this story.  Someone I was talking to a few months ago said Dan it can be a taxing process. So becareful you do not give too much of yourself up in the process. Hearing my friends the other day tell me of their need to slow it down, I understand it and see that what I have to share is my responcibility to help others but they are in fact work. I believe that is what God has ordained for me in this moment so if they do not come everyday they will come in God’s time, for God’s glory.

Well, back to the point 🙂

Like the old saying goes in every life some rain must fall. Today it is pouring out and I woke up happy to see it. Rain cleans and washes the enviornment and gives our plants grass trees and watershed water that is needed to keep things in balance.

I, like all of you need to be replenished by the rain in our lives, Just as Jesus was baptised in the river Jordan by John the Babtist . I too was babtised as a child in my parish at that time of St. Agnes in Arlington. We are one with Jesus.

About 10 or 12 years ago, I attended a meeting of the St Frances DeSalles Society at one of our friends homes. One of the teachings was to everyday when we shower to consider the water  to be a reminder of our baptism. I rededicate myself during that time to God and the HolySpirit everday in prayer that I say yes to do their will to the best of my ability.

With brotherly love,

Danny

Healing Rain

Michael W. Smith

 

 

 

 

It’s hard when your young.

25 Friday Jul 2014

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Hi this post is for those who are particularly young and are following my daily post. I posted todays blog, God of wonders. I then sat back in my reclined and listened and watched it once again. I wanted to be in the moment with what I had just posted. I had very deep thoughts while listening and when the video was over got up and let my dogs Jessica and jerrimiah out. I walked outside on my deck and stood there for a few minutes taking in the sights, sounds and the beauty of the day. And up cropped a sorrow in my heart , I thought of all the young kids that are searching for God, the truth and what it means to you. Just remember its okay and God meets us all where we are at and their is not one  life problem that is too big  that God to handle. He is with you alway’s.

I just wanted to say that I know what is going on out there with the culture, tv,news, what it is being  tought and how hard it is for you all to see and absorb.. I know parents who’s children want to go to church and the parents are aware and tell me  they are lost in their day and it does not happen. What I will say to you young ones is number one , I am not a priest, I am not a deacon, I am a human being just like you , and you count! I have 4 kids, and their friends are like my kids too. I have a very noisy house LOL. I will try and select things that may help you make your way to your faith. Remember, you guys as children  may be able to open your parents up to the concept of their faith as well. Thats why God created families to love and take care of oneanother. Parents are so busy, working tending to your needs, bills, shopping, sports etc. Sometimes we as parents me included have difficulty carving out time for church and for themselves. So, maybe you can share this blog so they can too see my blog too. It is always important to share internet stuff with your parents.:)

Thats it, God Bless You,

Danny

 

This is especially for you guy’s

Aaron Shust  My Savior

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dana Farber Part two

24 Thursday Jul 2014

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That day of my ekg, lunch etc, Just as Dr. R had said his head nurse S, showerd up with pills at my next scheduled squeezed in appointment. She was around every corner. She is spectacular. I never had 1 concern, all day. I met with I believe my new  radiologist oncologist at Brigham and womens. Dr A , I called him the great!  He is  a young, compitent , kind and awesome doctor  with another superb team of of assistants. from his head nurse S and her assistant , R they treated every patient the same, amazingly.

I would be remis if I did not mention the lovely social worker. N who has been there since day 1 for us. Very Sweet and soft spoken but always professional and helpful.

I had to go in after my consult for either a scan or an MRI , I cannot remember which but they needed to map my brain so they could target the best way to eradicate the tumor with radiation.

The radiology staff  there where great. They have a lot to deal with daily and are responsible for making sure that every patient was comfortable and that their bodies were positioned just perfectly so that the equipment could target the desired location with radiation therapy and nothing more.  They try to only hit the target and not to kill any more healty cells. Quite a responsibility.

Next I went in and My Dr. A had a plaster mold mask made of my  face and head, a mold I guess you could call it. It was made of a plaster.Once the Drs decided the attack plan they mapped and programmed my treatment into their computers. I was ready to begin my radiation therapy on the tumor that I never accepted as mine thanks to Gods word. I had six weeks of radiations 5 days a week monday to friday.

I had it easy in my eye’s compared to my wife and family who took the brunt of the wear and tear, juggling schedules, work etc. Some driving miles to pick me up only to turn around and take me back in the other direction into Boston.  And then once again have to  drive me home from treatment. I would like to say again from the depths of my heart thank you for your sacrafice and constant love. You make life worth living. xo Many friends also offered to help me with rides etc. God in action for sure. Love to you all too.:)

My phantom mask, thats what I came to call  it ( again my sense of humor) , the plaster mask was now a strong perferated plastic mask that fit my face, skull and had snap locks that locked my entire head 100% in the exact position to the treatment bed so there were no slight movements possible.  BTW, I asked for that mask when I finished radiation, they said sure. I said I am a decorator so I will hang it on my wall. they laughed. It currently sit a plastic bag in my garage.

have learned in life that we have a laugh as much as possible. There is healing in laughter God created such a beautiful creation in us. Laughter, is truely a healthy thing it makes gray colorful. so I laugh all the time and try not to ever stop, sometimes it gets me in trouble and I have to hit the confessional. I remember as a kid reading Erma Bombeck she cracked me up. Remember If life is a bowl of cherries , why do I get all the pitts?

Radiation did not bother me physically for a while. And then, my left side arm and leg decided I am taking a break, see ya and I lost most movement and feeling. I also became very very tired Dr. R said I would and I did. On July 4th 2012, I went into the bathroom  while I was at my brother S  at his cookout. I dropped dropped something on the floor. I went to swat a little to get it off of the floor and realized as soon as I did this that it was a mistake. My image disappeared from the mirror as I took position on the floor quietly. Again, I am stubborn so I just laid there saying hum how do I fix this pickle I got myself into?lol  My brother realized that I was missing and came to the bathroom and inquired through the door, I responded I am fine, I am just here trying to get up. he came in and Still says he does know how he got me up by himself.As a closing remark, I has a chance to study the tile and decor and found it very beautiful . lol

 

I truely feel Blessed because I have the peace from God, my incredible wife, kids, family and so many wonderful friends love and support. Everyone rushing to our sides and everyone has lifted us up. The Spirit was and is so still so high. Life is hard at times but it is our families our faith and friends that get us through.

One  day in I guess it was maybe Sept ,2012  my family told me that they were going to gather here together at my home , something not uncommon for our family. You know, food, family it has alway’s worked for us.lol  My mom, dad, wife, kids, 3 brothers and my dear sister and all of those kids my brothers mother in law M where all here.  There were I guess around 20 people in the house. I was in my recliner, very tired but my Spirit was full of peace, my whole family was here! It was so nice.All of a sudden someone came down the hall behind me and was a dear friend and brother in Christ, A and he hugged me and kissed my cheak. He pulled up my desk chair and started to speak to me , what a surprise! i had not seen A for a while. I said to him what are you doing here and he said that he heard that I was not feeling well. He stated that  he was In the area and wanted to say hello. He gave me a Blessing and left. My brothers were sitting on the couch here in my familyroom  with my dad and one of my brothers said who was that?  And I told them. They were astonished by his presence he is a very good and Holy man. The Spirit of God just shines. God Bless A and his family.There were so many prayers being said for our needs that I swear to God you could feel them raining down on us. I still feel them to this very day. Our prayers for one another are the most powerful gifts that we have to give to help anyone.

So, A left and I was happy for the visit and prayer and blessing he gave me. A short while went by and My brother S had gotten up to leave the room and returned, he said Dan can you come in here. I was like ugh, I had no strength, and needed assistance to get down the hall. I went down the hall and turned the corner to the front hall. I could not figure out why I was being led there. What happened next is a Miracle no doubt!

My brother opened my front door, and what I saw was a little piece of  Heaven! Friends who are gifts from God had quietly converged on my quiet street on the side walk and lawn. They had candles on my front steps with the exception of the  top two.Their had to be at least 40 beautiful souls out there. They were holding candles in their hands.One of my brothers helped me out and led onto the the top landing and I sat against the left rail, They wrapped a blanket around me. Then Praise and Worship began, prayers songs, people were driving by and stopping, some people peered from their windows, and then one of our beautiful friends son came out from behind my pine tree and played amazing grace on his bag pipes. It was just so incredible. I remember, God gave me the message and I tearfully passed it on. ( joy was overflowing)   I said tonight is not about me. Thank you. God is healing so many of us right now and in what ever way we need to be healed.  I think my whole neighborhood was Blessed in that evening. God Bless all of our friends and of my home parish of St. Josephs and 2nd parish home in and retreat center of St Basils in Methuen.

My love to you all and  with God’s Blessings.

So anyway, ( I told you I am not an expert writer, back to the point! 🙂

I went to treatment for radiology of my tumor which was sitting over my central nervous system.I was losing ability rapidly which would explain why when I told Dr. R that I would come back next week,  it  would not have been a good choice on my part. The Doctor understood the whole picture, the process and short window for action, so thank God they pushed with love and concern If they had not, I mayu not be here in this moment.

I will give you the list of meds I was on as well. In the not too distant future so people especially who are going through anything similar will know what was used in my treatment. People ask me that question a whole lot. I know every treatment plan is different and there are always new trial med coming out . So the news is great for everyone! There is lots and lots of Hope!

Celtic Women. You Raise Me Up.

God Bless You, Your in my prayers alway’s,

Danny

 

 

From Lahey Clinic to Dana Farber part 1

22 Tuesday Jul 2014

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Off we went to Dana Farber for our second consult and my new and current Dr. Dr. R. When we arrived it was via wheel chair for me, we were brought into the exam room. Again, we felt nothing but warmth and compassion from everyone. There were a number of medical /clinical coats in the room standing against the wall, my wife, one of my brothers and my sister were present too. I had been helped up on top of the exam table and was sitting upright on the edge of the table my legs dangling down.( It is funny how life makes us at times feel like a little kid).

Dr. R knelt in front of me on one knee and put his hand on my knee and said we have looked at the reports and biopsy information from Lahey and said we agree with the diagnosis. Glio Blastoma multiforme grade 4, it is non surgical. What I realized as I look down into my doctors eyes from my table edge was that he was a truely compassionate and loving man. He did not make me look up while he was talking to me, he took a position kneeling so he could meet me where I was. I remember the peace of God as still just flowing over me and I announced to all of the staff there that God had told me that I had the cancer, cancer was not of God and that I did not own this cancer, I went on to say that God selected them in this time to help me through God’s medicine, God’s machines, and their hands with are the extension of Jesus Christ. we are all Spirit driven and we need to remember where  the Holy Spirit  is from. God! 🙂

I told them about my spontaneous healing in Dec, 2010 that was discussed with my primary care doctor in January 2011 during a physical. He has confirmed the event to be true. This experience that I am going to begin to share is going to be a bit long and I am finding now in this moment will truely be an excercise emotionally but I will continue in a number of writings because what has happened during this time sounds impossible and is astounding but it is also very true. Witnesses were everywhere during this time and nothing will ever be the same . God is revealing his presence in a very strong way with good reason. He wants a personal relationship with us.

So any way, My Dr R was kneeling down on one knee to comfort me, I announced the message God gave me and tears filled his eyes, I was so tired, I just wanted to go home. not upset like one would imagine I had no energy and just wanted to sleep. The team raced out of the room, and two seconds a women that I will refer to as My scottish friend came in as cool as a cuccumber and said Ok Danny the doctor wants me to get an ekg of your heart. I had been insisting on getting into my wheel chair. She gently laid me back onto the table my legs still dangling off of the table and off came the shirt, and on went the electrodes. She started the eeg and when finished helped me with my shirt. And off she went.  My family was  there all the while in that room with me. Its like the bible I always have witness or as I call the Riley clan with me lol  My scottish friend was rolling out of the room, I was being assisted into my wheel chair by my brother and my wife and Dr R’s head nurse S, came into the door closed it and stood with her back against it and said, We need you to stay, we have made calls and want to get more tests done while you are here. I said no, I said I am too tired and I do not have my afternoon medication, she tried to convince me and my family tried to get me to sway, I said thanks I will come back next week. She said okay and sprinted out of the room, I said c’mon lets go. We left the exam room, I sware to God I was leaning left in the chair, so weak. When all of a sudden I heard something and Dr. R was coming down the hall full seam ahead. I saw him look at my family and went to his knees once again, he put his hand on my left arm and said please Dan we want you to stay, I went through the whole I will come back next week thing , I don’t have my meds, my family had to go to work they have not eaten, I was tired. My family asserted once again that it was okay that they would call in to work. Dr R. said we have made all of the arrangements necessary and our radiologist at brigham and womens was staying as late as he had to accomodate me. He said we have all the medications you need in our unit we have meds for occasions like this he said okay:) Then he said why don’t you get a bite to eat and S, meaning his head nurse will see you in a while. I said okay and he patted my arm and smiled. It was yet another Miracle. There are mericales  like this happening daily in our hospitals and doctors offices, we are a Blessed country. and at times fail  to see them for what they are. God’s people are loving,compassionate and giving.

BTW, my ekg came back with a strange rythmn like there were two heart beats and that is because as my test was being done, and it was a stall tactic, my sister who was so devestated was holding my hand thus two heart beats . Just beauitful !

I am exhausted and need to stop for the moment. I will continue to write from this point tomorrow.

God Bless you, and thank you God for everything that give us all. Amen.

Chris Tomlin Thank you God for saving me

 

 

The Will of God

21 Monday Jul 2014

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I came upon this video after completing my blog entry today and after reciting the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Thats God showing he is in the moment once again. when you hear what father Clifford has to say you too will understand 🙂

Please  watch and listen this video it is 7 minutes long and it is amazing. Amen to this! I choose to live life God’s way.

Father Leo Clifford The will of God.

 

Amazing Grace

21 Monday Jul 2014

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Last night while lieing in bed my mind went through the days activities and assessed where God was in it . The moments that we learn  something or teach something to one another. Two of brothers and I were together for a brief  time  today to pay respects to a wonderful young man who tragically passed and his family. During our time together we discussed different things going on in our lives, this world, and our culture.

I finished my evening prayers, and laid there on the twilight edge of sleep and listened for Gods voice or word to inspire and soothe me. Well, he did but it had a hint of sadness to it which made me stir a bit.

God uses things that I understand to allow me to understand What he is saying in any given moment to me. It is the same for all of you as well.The Holy Spirit is working with us always. There is a response/ psalm that is used in  my church from time to time which stepped forth in my mind and I could hear it but the word and implication was different.

This is the whole  song version  , so it is longer than the verson we use at my church. It is haunting, and what God was saying to me last night was  why have so many in this world abandoneded him at the foot of the cross?   Is  it good that we wander off to face the wolves alone? I do not think so.  Life can be challenging.

here it is.

Responsorial Psalm 22:

Dandan Soy

 

God is our protection and there are forces darker in the world that would want us hopeless. I strongly feel that if had  not stayed stay at the foot of the cross with Jesus during my life It would have been impossible for God to heal me and build me up one again, my heart was open and hopeful.  Like a branch that falls from that the tree I would be dead not just physically but more importantly I believe that i would be eternally dead in my soul.

So, I needed to share this with you all.  I know it sounds heavy, but to me it is.

I want to always be honest in all my writing irregardless of how fantastic it sounds. bacause God  knows the hows,  why’s and whens. We just need to say yes.

Enjoy this next video, I love it

This video was shot in the ruins of the colisseum where meny Christians were killed by the lions just for amusement and because of their religious beliefs. Remember Daniel and the lion den?

Amazing Grace II Divo

my next blog will re in reference to Beginning treatment at Dana farber.

God Bless You ,

Danny

Sactus Real Something New.

20 Sunday Jul 2014

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Sanctus Real Something New

This song represents so many aspects of my life. Even a Cancer diagnosis as I said before has a silver lining too. I have done so much of what this song and lyrics say. Please look at the lyrics, we all need to purhaps hit the reset button. I know life has done that for me , and I thank God that I was blessed with the adversity that helped me to find my biggest treasure, namely God!

We are all works in progress daily. 🙂

 

For 2 years since my cancer diagnosis my recliner became my place, my prision whatever I deemed it to be moment by moment. As I accepted my new life not knowing if my chair would be permanent location until death do we part. lol  Sorry, I do have a dark sense of humor and it makes me laugh. 🙂

Well I am out of that chair a lot more more often now. It is just my redocking station now 🙂 Praise God!, and the mantra what am I going to do with my life? along with the prayer, God please give me a direction! I said God whatever you want, I will do. Just so long as it pleases you and helps others. I would  be so grateful.. This blog was over  2 years in the making of praying and waiting. Waiting as I came to understand is what God required me to learn before he could answer me. I have so many people, family ,friends and medical people tell me that I needed to share this story, blog, put pen to paper, write a book, whatever. I just felt who am I to do this?  Then I thought it is the truth and for God’s glory. So why would God not have me write of this?  I figured God was useing all of my friends, family and medical people to give me my answer that I had prayed for and to encourage me to step in and respond to his call. I know the writing is helping me to find things hidden in my mind like thoughts,memories,sorrows,love,shame. Do I like all of these things?, Not all of them! But, that is not the point. The point is stuff in the shadows that lirk and play havoc in our lives and our Spirits are not good and are not of God. They are evil and keep us in bondage. We can be healed from these things. Drag them out into the light of God’s presence, pray on them and God will bring the healing to them and you will be made a new creation. Secrets and hurts are cancer in our minds, souls and the Holy Spirit and as a result I believe our physical health suffers.The child inside does not have to anguish forever, we have an obligation to that child to find him and her peace and fix and heal the wounds of this lifes journey. We are the children of the light, we are called by God to radiate our love and faith to all we meet irregardless to our personal story or struggles. Perfection is not required just a heart that is willing to serve. It is in helping others that we are healed.. With healing of our inner child comes a whole host of benefits. We find peace, forgiveness, self love, and allow The Holy Spirit to work in us and through us in a very harmoniously way honoring God and validating his love to those who need him. People are attracted to a peaceful spirit.  I sincerely hope these writings resonate with all of my brothers and sisters out there and that you too can find the healing peace of our Lord Jesus Christ/ God. Amen. These writings are Spirit Driven, with my love and kinship with you all at its core.

You are all in my prayers for whatever your needs might be, God knows who you are and what you need. Please pray for my family and this world we all need them.:)

God Bless,

Danny

Like a baby – I will finish up treatment plan1 treatment

19 Saturday Jul 2014

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Hi, I thought the song selected below fit very well with my situation as well as all of yours., We need to go through the bad times (valleys) to get to the mountain. It is like a baby that must crawl before he or she can stand and walk. it is a process. They end up falling and sitting down alot so cute.  Life is like that for everyone.We are  like a baby who keeps trying to stand up and yet we fall, have disappointments, illness, addictions whatever life can pick up and throw at us. We are human and make mistakes. It is part of free will.

It is my personal belief that God is on the mountain and he is in fact our Father. I believe when  he looks at us he see’s the child only, not the baggage and wrinkles or the years of ageing. The same way we reach as a baby for our parents hands to find our legs and stand, so to do we need to reach up to our Heavenly Father to keep us stable and upright. This is why prayer and talking to him and requesting this help and commfort is so important. He knows our issues, problems and needs even the things that we do pull out of the shadows.  What he is waiting for us to do is to ask him. If you needed your dad to help you, wouldn’t you calll out to him.? Of course! You donnot have to shout to get Gods attention, a simple silent interior prayer anywhere will work just fine. He wants us to rely and believe that he will in fact respond. He is our one true constant from this life into eternal life.

As i am sitting here I just looked at a placque up on my mantel.You know simetimes as a parent you wonder how much of what we try to teach our kids sticks? Well one day one of my daughters came in and said dad look what I bought . She valued what it meant and purchased it, that too me was Heaven. I love to see my children all coming into their own. And taking Jesus along with them. it reads…

Let your FAITH  be bigger that your fear.  The word faith is very over sized.

in an earlier writing I spoke how my parents chose my Roman catholic upbringing. That is true but having said that, I did go out in search of my truth and after a few years found myself back where  my roots were planted, The catholic Church and the sacraments that I truely love. And, having said that I totally believe that  there are a lot of beautiful communites and faiths outthere that  gather and honor God in with their  own traditions.

Fininshing up where I left off with my experience at The Lahey Clinic,The doctors there were wonderful as were the staff nurses everyone. God made his presence  known to all of the people involved with my case. Again, it is not because I am special, God is useing me as what I believe  ia a witness and reminder of his presence here. As I stated in an earlier writing that I believe that this is the time of Miracles. I can see them. And, I wonder how many  miracles happen daily where Gods angels intercede on our behalf. Like my shoulder and knee,” dawn did not break on marble head” for a while after I was healed of what I had received and the appreciation that i should have had to offer the praise not to the word Miracle but to the word God. All Praise goes to God.

There were truely amazing events that took place at Lahey, interactions ,events etc that I will share sometime in the future. I don’t write what I do not think that God wants to share . I feel now is not that moment.

 

During my appointment with the doctors my family met with myself and doctors and we decided that based on my situation Dana Farber would be the best solution to help me because of the number of clinical trials that they offered. I felt peace. During the consult Dr. D my Lahey surgeon said we need to get David on the phone right away. He took out his cell phone his assistant  called right there on the spot  and got an emergency appointment with Dr. D R in Dana Farber.. They said on the phone they had to meet me I was an excellent candidate because of my Faith and demeanor. I knew it was God, working in my life through these wonderful doctors and their staff. They were sensing the Holy Spirit that we all have, it guides us, soothes us, makes us feel bad when we are not good and it our own personal teacher. The Holy Spitit also rushed in with love that is immeasureable at times. Tears of joy! He helps to heal our hurts and is love.

 

I have to go my back is bothering me see, i am human too. lol  just danny 🙂

Peace and God’s love.

 

The Mountain of God. Third Day.

 

Love this song: casting Crowns East from the West