I think that life has served me up what has been the best life lessons  in terms of my personal health issues. I have personally been forced to mind bend, and stretch my understanding of my everyday existence on such a personal level. 

I personally before cancer went about my day and thought how I would achieve my next goal. I worried about the stuff. I walked around smiling and all the while inside I worried about the tomorrows, the kids, the house, the college stuff. The list goes on and on. I was the master of my ship. The ships name was Ego. I perhaps did not see it that way at that time but that is what it was.

When I attended my Cursillo  retreat at St. Basils  back in 1999 Fr. Martin spoke to the whole group of men who were on the retreat about how men wear masks to cover their feeling and are not particularly opened to others and I realized during that time how right he was.  It’s not that men are deceiving the world so much as that they are deceiving themselves. We are raised in a culture that tends to push us to be quiet put your head down and excell forward towards a successful future full of stuff. Having stuff is not bad but it cannot be our reason to live.

With my cancer diagnosis back in 2012. I began a very long road of true self discovery not because I chose to but because I had to. I was not instantly enlightened and understood what I have come to know today. It’s been a long and grueling 3.5 years of living, suffering, being joyful, angry, and appreciative at the same time.a twilight zone of sorts. Prayer is Gods gift to me.

My past, childhood, family and more friends that I could ever count coupled with an embedded faith gave me the courage to say the heck with this and call on God with a deep seated heart felt prayer while I was told to prepare for death I gave it to God, he gave me my peace. In that moment God took pitty upon me and spared my life.

You see, I came to really understand and believe that the battle is his alone. We are called by God to make good Free Will choices. To pray and discern everything. To trust  in his plan . I have learned that I honestly have been forced to due to cancer to realize that I am not going to live forever. Also, that if I do in fact believe in eternity with my Heavenly Father and all those who I love then I need to do some soul searching and find out who I really am. Well, my mask hit the floor recently and my vision is now even clearer.

I never take credit for anything anymore. I thank God for the good things in my life, my  family, friends, and all of the daily items that I need. It began with him and it belongs to him.

God Bless You All,

please pray for.

Elayna, back issues.

Jeanne cancer.

Teddy cancer,

andrew upcoming knee surgery.

jenn, brain cancer.

for each other and our needs.

for the earthquake victims in Afghanistan and people suffering from wars, hunger and homelessness.

We pray to the Lord.

. Lord hear our prayers.

The Winans “Trust in God” – YouTube
Video for Trust in god site:youtube.com▶ 6:13
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSxFqIt9kqg
Sep 23, 2010 – Uploaded by Lakemillha
Clips to express the classic song “Trust in God” By the legendary Winans.