What resounds in my heart today, is how fragile we all are. I have never really discussed on my blog as a guy what my diagnosis with a terminal cancer had meant in that moment to me, my family, my parents, siblings and my friends.
This could be a long writing but I will break it into peices over a period of time. Upon receiving the news about my friend Paul yesterday it was so close to home for me that when in prayer last night , I had his whole family unit and friends in my large web of thoughts and prayer.My wife and I met Paul and Linda 20 years ago and were neighbors for 10 years and have remained friends since our move to a different home in town.
I know what I felt like after I was diagnosed personally and I felt like I had let my family down. I wrote once that to me, I felt that I was my wifes knight in shining armour and had fallen off the horse. I felt that I had failed my wife and family. I really beat myself up for a while over this.. My wife did not feel that way. And, as I grew in my awareness of what this situation truely was and where God was in it. I realized that what happened to me was not of my doing it is a condition that God had never intended for us either.
If you have read my blog you would know that God made it clear to myself and doctors through the Holy Spirit that …. I had cancer, cancer was not of God and that I do not own this cancer. And, I never did.
Well,
That goes for my friend Paul and you all as well. We are all the same in God’s eye’s. He loves us all so much ! cancer and evil is not of God, period !
But, he will get us through , Amen !
You know, recently ( two weeks ago) , my wife and I were sitting in the family room here and she reminded me of how Paul and Linda had come to visit one night after my diagnosis and Paul had to get me out of the sofa, I was so weak. I remember being stuck and not being able to get up and out of it. We are all our brothers keepers. For anyone who is currently not well, think positive thoughts, trust in God and expect healing.Pray and visithealing services too. God answers all prayers. Look for the angels in your life. I have too many angels in my life to count. Thank you God ! 🙂 xo
Remember to laugh always no matter what !
I will continue on this topic shortly. Hope abounds !!!!!!
Tamela Mann Take Me To the King.
Kick Cancer in the Butt! Pray for a Cure ! There is nothing that he cannot do !
One important thing that came to me as I ate my 1/’2 sandwich for lunch on Monday was a conversation that I had with an older friend of mine years back. She was a walker. She walked 365 day’s a year with a friend who was committed to doing it with her.
She had various illnesses that were possible if not probable of effecting her due to genetics. He physician told her to use it or she could lose it. He was speaking about her body. I can attest to that point as I sat here side lined with this cancer that I have never owned.
The bottom line is this according to her doctor, and I agree 100%, once the legs go then the rest of the body follows.
When cancer took my left side. I went from 150 miles per hour to 5 miles an hour physically. When my legs could not walk , my arms did not move involuntarily either, my lungs shrunk from sitting and my bodies energy withered too. When we walk, all of our muscles are involved stomach, back, legs, arms, chest, buttocks, heart and lungs included. Your mind is renewed by what it is sensing in smell, sight and sound it is a win, win for life. Your mind and Spirit can connect easily.
What I did have was God’s Peace, Faith and the knowledge that when this curtain falls on my life here that Act two with God and Jesus Christ will be absolutely Beautiful and will never end. Being united with all who have gone before me, including my pets. Love just does not die, thats my belief anyway. Last but not least, God gave me the Holy Spirit and the will to see things in my life through a magnificent prism. I love my wife, children, family and friends so much that my desire to live and conquer myadversities to be physically whole once again is as large as a mountain. I can see it. . My goal makes life, a sheer joy. If I get an inch forward , I will stretch that gain to a mile. It is very simple. I can only imagine what God could use me for if He blesses me with my physical healing that I see.. God has already peirced my heart, humbled my life and has grown me in relationship with him. Its the same for you all too 🙂 The Holy Spirit has transformed and renewed my mind and has convicted me of my sins and any of the the crap that was in my life. That stuff was left on the confessional room floor. So in life bring the stuff to God and he will heal that wound. I have said it before yet, I feel once again compelled to write these words so, I would love to live and be here to love and support my wife, to love my kids and witness who they grow to become, weddings grandchildren the works but none of us truely knows what God’s plan is. So, I take comfort in knowing that I am doing everything in my power now to faciltate that desire to happen. But, I also am grateful to know that should God call me to him then he knows the reason, and I believe that I will still be with my loved ones and friends, watching over them and perhaps in my purified state having accounted for my lifes errors To God . My prayers will be even more valuable for my loved ones and all of you 🙂
So, Sitting down constantly was not an option. By Gods grace, I fought to my feet and dragged my left side up and down the stairs with me. I began to try and empty the dishwasher and vaccuum the hard woods on the 1st floor. If I have a little energy I try to expell it and to cause my body to have to rise to the occasion and make more energy, I made a roasted chicken dinner for my family complete with vegetables that hit the kitchen floor. Too heavy for one hand, but I was hours in the kitchen doing what I used to do cooking and it was a labor of love. We all had a wonderful dinner too 🙂 What they did not know, did not kill them:) Everyone was raving about it. I must keep that recipe! LOl. I began to walk the track when someone can drive me down and be with me, a safety net. I must say the first time I looked at the 1/4 mile track I almost stayed in the car. Question?, what if I in that moment I had said no, I can’t do it ? I probably never would have walked. I have walked two laps now which is 1/2 mile so again, my legs were moving my arms were moving and my lungs were talking deep breathes because I was winded. What a wonderful feeling that is. I have been taking it to the limits because God has called me to be bigger than myself! He has called me to be God strong for everyone. If I can do this, then you can too. 🙂
Below is a photo of myself and brother in law at the relay for life, Cancer walk this past May 2014. I walked the survivor lap with my brother in law C, he is another one of my hero’s 🙂 Oh BTW, I am on the left, no wheelchair, no walker, no 4 prong cane. God wants the best for all of us !!!! Amen !
I am on the road to recovery and like I said it is a long and winding road, I have my family and friends who see me in the down moments that I may have and they give me a kind word or a slap on the rear end LOL and I am back in the saddle again. So we are all helping oneanother 🙂
The Eagles Take it to the limit! I am always running back to God !
God adores us All, Don’t leave him standing there !!
Believe in the Miracle that you are and see the the day of endless possibilties that lies ahead !
Even if you move one inch further on your road today then you are gaining your Victory through God. Amen !!
The Long and Winding road The Beatles
Gene Autry. Back In The Saddle Once Again 🙂 Try not to smile, I double Dare You !!!
There are so many things in life that I do not know. I have prayed on this and I have finally decided to post this account. I promised myself that when I began this blog that I would be truthful and honest in every account that is placed here.
Because of my upbringing, Mediums etc were not part of my everyday life. I discussed this from time with people from my own faith also when I was younger, I spoke to a priest. The explanation that I was given at that time by the priest was that first of all not all so called Spiritual gifts are from God. I do believe that . There is a whole lot of deception from the devil out there who wants to confuse us. Lead us from salvation.
I was taught by my tradition the Roman Catholic faith that the focus is on our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, which I do personally believe. But, having said that since my writings for the church, my writtings under the heading of love letters from God and finally this blog. I have had so many experiences in the Spiritual rhealm as well as dreams and visions. The constants in my life in my visions and dreams are God, Jesus Christ, and The Blessed Mother.
So, I take very seriously anything that I write of or speak about in regards to Heaven.. I pray on everything because my soul is on the line. I believe that whole heartily.
This next account is the truth and I need to share…
Around three months ago I came in the door from physical therapy and came back to my chair to sit down. The phone rang and my God mother was on the phone she said, Hi danny , are you sitting down ? I said what else do I do? and we laughed. She said, I know how you feel about these things but, It is just so amazing.
I said , what?
She said that two of her grandchildren and one of their childhood friends decided one night that they would go see a medium for fun. My aunt acknowlodged the fact she too did not feel comfortable or called to see one either.
So anyways, they picked up the phonebook and found one. They booked the appointment. Let me state for the record that I have never met her grandchildren nor their friend.
So, they went off to see this man, I do not know his name, I never felt compelled to ask. Her grandchildren and their friend are probably juniors or seniors in high school I am guessing.
The man greeted them and told eachone things that he could never be able to know. Things about events when they were small accidents etc. They were shocked to here about events that they had nearly forgotten about.
He then said who has the older women like your grandmothers age that recently passed away? My aunts two grand daughters said oh, I think my Nana’s sister passed away a few months ago. That was my mom Roberta.
He then said and who Is the male attached to her that has brain cancer? they said I think her son does ( me ).
He then said please let him know that St. Raphael is holding and protecting him.
I have told you all that my whole family prays to St. Raphael and uses the Blessed oil that we received from the healing ministry at St. Josephs.
So, I took that as a direct message from God. it was very comforting for me to hear. But again, I never felt compelled to call this man directy either. Gods got this situation, and thats all that really matters to me.
There are as I said before, things that are not good for us spiritually. And, My family experienced them back when I was in my eary 20’s. So I do not dabble inthings that I do not understand. We are all better off, If we don’t. I will discuss what happened on this blog when the time is right.
During my mothers hospitalization at Spaulding Cambridge in the ventilator unit she was very sick, very weak and slept a whole lot. Remember, her prognosis was not good. My mom did not have a private room and I think it was a great thing for my mother and for her roomate Mary.
You see my mothers roomate Mary was not wanted in any other persons room in that unit. She was put in my mothers room because she was loud at times and dilsruptive to her roomates and the staff.
My mom was pretty much sleeping at first so they figured my mother would not be affected by Mary’s outbursts etc. God had a purpose for this situation and my mom was selected in this time to witness Christ and unconditional love to so many in that hospital during this time. And she was! My mother listened to the daily goings on in that room with Mary and My mom continued to get stronger by the day. When my mom was weined from the ventilator and was able to speak once again as I wrote in my last blog. At this point my mother looked like she was a Miracle that was on the road to a recovery, and she was. Right away the staff said, I am sorry to my mom, Mary has her moments. We will try and find her a new room, she is hard to place with others. My mother said don’t be silly, its fine. Due to Mary’s health condition it can be 24 hours of non stop action. The staff one after another came in and thanked my mother, my mom just felt that Mary was an angel, and just needed a calm reassuring hand. It was scary for Mary being there alone with all the machines, noises etc.
You see, Mary is a beautiful women in her late 50’s I am guessing and she is very bright. Something happened at her birth and her brain was deprived of oxygen and she was like a child from that point. This was prior to my cancer diagnosis so, I was able to be there daily too. My dad was there every morning and stayed until late afternoon with my mom and we (her children and family) coodinated so we would all be there at different times. Well, my mom would be helping from her bed fordging a relationship with Mary. Mary is just a beautiful person who would get upset and did not always have an ability to understand. I looked at her and saw a beautiful child there in that bed. Innocent and she needed to rely on everyone to survive. She too was on a ventilator off and on depending on her respritory needs. She had her older sister Dotty coming in daily, late in the day and would read Mary her childrens books, help her with some private care issues etc. Mary loves all her old movies and watched them all the time the sound of music, Judy Garland etc. Mary was living in the past speaking about her mom and dad who were her life.They both passed when they were in their 90’s. Mary has an identical twin who is healthy.
My mom , dad and family grew very tight bonds with Mary and her family. My mom would get Mary to talk, calm her down and help the staff to work with her when she was having a bad day. My mom prayed and talked about Jesus with her. When Mary’s sister Dotty could not come and Mary was waiting She had a private nurse Elizabeth come in . Elizabeth had helped and assisted her over the years at her home too. She is family to Mary:) She too would be praying with Mary, just beautiful.A gift to Mary and I believe Mary is a gift to her too.
Mary had her baby ( a doll) named Michelle. She had a toy baby bottle and she would be feeding that doll burping it and the doll slept with Mary every night. Mary would tell the baby its okay and she would tell my mom that Michelle was crying. My mom was involved when Mary was in a bad place my mom would end up feeding the doll and burping the doll, it made Mary so happy. My mom had such compassion for Mary and she loved her. My dad was there all the time so he could see her struggling, trying to eat. The staff was helping but she did not want them for whatever reason so my dad would say Mary, would you like me to help ? She would say yes, and my dad would help to cut things up etc. The staff was so happy to see Mary content and it really helped to calm the unit down. There is a saying, If you cannot do something nice then donot do anything at all. Service to others is an honor as far as I am concerned. It is not alway’s easy but there is nothing more rewarding.
I will continue with this shortly,
God Bless You,
Danny
A dedication to all the special needs kids around the world.
Just a quick blog, I am sitting here at home all by my onesies, and was thinking about my blog. I have had so many conversations over the last two years about documenting this journey. What I get now more than ever is just how much people are enjoying the witness of my journey and that of my family. Its causing my family to re-live certain events that were tramatic in that day and I guess this journey,of hearing it and reading about it in this manner will bring more closure and healing to us all.
My intent for this blog is very simple, I want to help even just one person. We are all the same to God precious. This blog is his victory story. To everything there is a purpose.
The byrds
When it comes down to it, by the grace of God all that we have in the life really is eachother, and that is really the most important thing anyway. Material stuff is really so unimportant. We need to celebrate and support oneanother. Amen.
I wanted to continue with my writing for my mom today. Part two was on Sept 4ths blog. The Saint Agnes Band was a large part of our lives growing up. We had attended the school as well. Some of us went on to Arlington Catholic too . It was a great life.
One of the best parts was that my mom and dad were present in our lives. My dad managed the equipment truck and trained other fathers to get their bus liscences, so that the band members and color guard could get back and forth from parades and competitions. Like I said, my dad was everyone’s dad in the band and they loved him. He loved all the kids too. I would like to remember also in this moment my fathers assistant in the equipment van Mr. Callahan. My dad loved this man as did all of the kids in the band. He was awesome:) He went to the Lord some time ago, God Bless Him too.
My mom was always in the stands with all kinds of food, extra sandwiches etc. When we came off the field of competition, we would change out of our uniforms and get our street clothes on and off we would go into the stands to find her. Each one of us ( her) kids had extra kids( friends) with us.lol We were all hungry and my mother was accustomed to that fact 🙂 and had sandwiches and stuff for them too. She also had jugs of homemade pink leomonade too.If my mom ran out Mrs. H was there with her food and was good for potato chips and chips ahoy cookies too.:)
In the band we would wear uniforms on the parade route and in competition. The uniforms had wool pants, Satin tops and a cumberbund wrapped around the middle.. It was topped off by a band drum style hat with a neck strap.We all wore white bucks (shoes) as well.
It could be 100 degrees in a parade or competition and we survived wearing those uniforms. The bottom line is this, we would roll in on the buses sometimes at 11:00 at night at the parking lot from a competition and needed to be back the next morning ready, uniformed and ready to go back out in competition once again or on a parade route somewhere. The uniforms needed to be laundered and ironed. The judges took points off of our score if things were not perfect. A lot of parents were not engaged with their kids or were unable to be there to support their kids. So, the kids were upset because they’re uniforms would not be ready for the next morning. It was a big deal. So My mom, Mrs. R said don’t worry honey, give them to me I will have them ready in the morning. Remember, my mom had 5 kids and worked full time. But you see, she saw a need and offered it up and got the job done. She made those kids feel special, and they were. She was a brick in their foundation as was my dad. I can remember her standing in the kitchen in front of that ironing board ironing one satin shirt after another. They were ready for the judges 🙂 She even carried Kiwi white shoe polish in her bag and was touching kids shoes up, nice and white.
My mom’s ilness, She was a Miracle and also showed the Doctors , staff of several institutions that, God is for real.
As I wrote in the past blog about my mom, C.O.P.D. progressed to emphysema and the ability of my mom to go out ,to walk stairs etc was very much diminished. She lived with a constant sense that she could not get breathe into her lungs. She very rarely complained but we understood her daily struggle. She was not going to bring her family down. She was partnered with Christ in his suffering. Like my mother would always say.
4 or so years ago in around June 2010 I think it was ? My mom went into the hospital at Mt Auburn in Cambridge her breathing was reduced even further and she was found to have a 4 to 5 inch tumor attached to her lung, behind her heart and it was obtructing the airway out from the lung. It was found to be inoperable, plus given her very poor respritory system she could not have anesthesia. Because of her strong resolve, faith and fight for life her Dr. R who was her primary for 30 plus years advocated that she should be allowed to try a plan to attack this tumor, my mom was well aware of its dangers and we all supported her and my dads decision in this matter.
She was treated by a wonderful Cancer and respritory Dr. S from Mt Auburn Hosp. He is a brain cancer survivor too. She under went chemo and very targeted radiation treatment for the cancer, for the tumor etc and when they were done the tumor still remained. She came home and was home a few days and radiation pneumonitis set in she was rushed into the hospital and ended up in Mt Auburns ER after she found to be non- responsive at her home. That particular morning, My neice, dad,brother and sister were watching her, and saw a difference in her that they never witnessed before. An ambulance was called, right away.
At the ER, things looked very grimm. we were all there. She was being given a lot of support she was filled with carbon dioxide , it is called I think, black death. It is when you breathe in and cannot expell the carbon diaoxide out of the lungs and body, so you will get sleepy, your brain and other vital organs can de deprived of oxygen and eventually you will pass away without intevention. Even with help, it is very dicey. The staff ushered the whole family into a room and brought us food and gave us some gentle words of support. Very beautiful.
My mom was moved up to the Intensive care unit and she was put onto a ventilator, by her choice, she was not done yet with her Earthly journey . She was there for a good seems like 1 and a half to 2 months if my memory serves me. My father was there everyday before 5 a.m. and stood by here because she would open her eyes and look at him at that time, he was not going to dissappoint her .Asside from that, she just slept a whole lot. He would take her hand and say, Its okay bobby, I am here just keep it in neutral.( Don’t Worry), You are going to get better. He stood there and prayed with her. All day long. All of the family would stream in and out of her ICU bed space and tell my dad to go sit down, food was being brought in by my sister, brother etc for him. We would make a prayer chain around her bed. Dr’s and nurses walked by and just watched the family through the glass windows and witnessed God in action. Eventually my mom was moved to a regular room at Mt Auburn to get her ready to transition her to Spaulding Cambrige Street Cambridge because her Dr. R ran the Vent department there. Again, God was handling everything.
At this time , It was about 6 months before I suddenly became ill with my Gleo, so I was able to be there a whole lot. Which I am so grateful for. It is what live is all about. Love, support and being there. Very Simple 🙂
I will continue with this account shortly.
God Bless You All,
Danny
My mom loved this song I am sure she was thinking of my dad when she listened to it and sang it 🙂 xoxo
Hi All, I used these songs to end my day on Monday. I was lead to them after prayer and decided that they would be nice to share in this moment. Enjoy this beautiful Day. 🙂
Beautiful songs just enjoy. God is so good.
Yesterday: by , Mary / Mary
Laren Hill and Tanya Blount
This song reminds me of a lovely women that went to the Lord . God Bless you . C
I had the pleasure of going with my wife and son to my wife’s company outing to Kimballs Farm in Westford today. It was very hot and the threat for thunderstorms were a possibility according to the newscasters.
Well, off we went with sunny skies and arrived to the outing, it is a very beautiful place so being outside even in the heat was fine. We were greated by my wifes bosses, employee’s and their guests. Year after year it proves to be such a nice gathering. One of the nicest groups of people that I have ever met. God blessed my wife with her employer and co-workers. She is so happy. Which, only makes me more happy and grateful.
There was a barbeque running, with a huge ice cream bar. Alway’s amazing. We felt the breeze pick up and we all were saying how good it felt. Kimballs has huge weather proof tents and tables so we were not sitting in the sun. Well within a half hour of that beautiful breeze’s arrival nature let loose with lightening, torential rain and thunder. We, were all dry and actually stayed dry in the hearvy duty tents. It was wild . The smell of the rain was just so beautiful. Everything smelt so good. It smelt like trees and earth.The rain cleared out about one hour after it began, there was actually a tonado warning issued for where we were. When it was over, we hit the road for home. I said to my wife and son when we got into the car, I hope we got that rain at home and they agreed it has been a little dry lately. On approach to our home before our exit off the highway there is a movie theatre. I saw that the far end of the parking lot was flooded. It must be pitched that way to keep the cars from sitting in it. I was so happy because I knew that we too benefited from the rain as well.
We all need the rain in our lives no matter what form that it takes. Water and adversity purifies us all.
My final thought that I would like to say yet again is that we need to acknowlege and be grateful to those in our lives daily that make life a beautiful experience. They are a gift !
I mentioned that I had received the face of Christ from a friend in the chapel one rainy night and that my friend was told by the Holy Spirit thay he would get it back when I was healed. As an update to that event. About 4 months ago, I saw F by chance at the church hugged him and said, F God said that when I was healed you would get this back. He looked directly into my eyes and his eyes filled up and I said that this is that time. He wants you to have it back and I took it off, kissed it and passed it to him he then placed it over his head and kissed it. And we embraced. I am cancer free from the brain cancer and will be going for a scan In a few weeks again to keep at eye on it. But God has got his almighty hands on both you and I all of the time regardless of whatever comes to pass in our lives Soooo
Worry Not ! 🙂
I was down at my church around a year and half ago for a healing service, I stood and prayed with the healing ministers for the sick that were coming in. I at this time was useing a walker. And I remember trying to stand and lean towards the person being prayed over, I wanted the physical contact of my hand to touch that persons shoulder. It was an effort but, God will give you what you need every moment. Well, while I was standing there praying a women walked beside me and stood to the right. I did not focus on who she was. Well, we finished the prayers over the beautiful person who was sitting and being prayed over. So, I looked again at this women to the right of me and she looked stunned and said Danny? I said yes, and then I said, Oh my God, J. how are you I had not seen her in at least 14 years, she had moved to another town.
She looked at me standing with my walker and said what happened my response was a little cancer. Gods got everything , including my fear 🙂
She looked so distressed , I gave her a hug and asked her what was wrong, she said it is really weird but, I feel like I can talk to you. You see , she was in that church that night for a reason as was I. Our personal psalm #139 put us there by God’s design. An intersection in life.
She said that she had been in her church on Ash Wednesday and God spoke directly to her that she would be given the gift of healing through Jesus and would see peoples desease’s. She looked so scared, my reaction was, I know its God my Spirit was resonating inside telling me of the truth. She said that as part of this calling was to create plaster art work and they are given to people that God had intended them for with scripture passages attached. Many were people that she did not know.
She also has 5 or 6 kids and they were so frightened as to what she was suddenly compelled to do. You see, she had never done art work before and was suddenly a master at it. I told her I understood because of how God was useing me as well. He uses all of us by the way 🙂 So, I think that she had a lot of peace before she left the church that evening.
So any way’s 🙂 , fast forward maybe 3 weeks or so from that night, my front door bell rang at like 6:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning and I could not get up and move that quicky, my wife was laying there half in a coma from all of her hours of work. We heard a vehicle pull away. About 45 minutes later the phone rang and we did not recognize the number so I did not answer. I fell asleep and when I awoke I took the phone and saw that there was a message. I listened to it and I found that it was J, the women from the church.
One thing that I need to say to set up this miracle was this, I did not sleep well that night a lot of Spiritual warfare was taking place and I began to pray to God and was complaining about my life. I was bellying acheing about everything!, a good old fashioned pitty party. That was around 3:00 am and at 4 am I began to do my Holy Rosary and I believe that it has saved my life! It calms me and puts me into union with heaven. Amen.
Okay, back to J. I called her and when she answered she apologized for coming by so early and calling, She said she had to. I understand that. WhenGod compells you to do something, it must be done!
She told me that she had been woken up by God at 4:00 am and was told that she needed to get a plaster peice that she made to me right away. She left it between the storm door and was afraid that it might get broken. It was funny when my wife found out that J had called my wife said as I was dialing J back on the phone, maybe she made an art peice for you. I said nahhh. Well, she had.It is beautiful.
My wife ran down to get it before something happened to it, it had a card with it .
When I pulled it out of the bag it was the face of Christ just beautiful! She did not know about F and the medallion ( Face of Christ ) that I had been given in the chapel nor did she know about my vision where I saw the shroud of Turin either.( Jesus face)
Here is the scripture that God gave her for me in that very moment that went with the face of Christ sculpture.
Galatians 2:20King James Version (KJV)
20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
Now If that is not God, then what is???????????
The bottom line :
While I struggled with sorrow ,brain cancer and body failure and was thinking about my plight and that of my family the devil was toying with me all night. I retreated to a safe harbor Jesus Christ at 3 am and began to beseech of him what I needed and by 4 a.m. feeling still a little oppressed I called on My Blessed Mother as well. God heard my silent prayer and pleas and answered me immediately. My Blessed mother aided in that as well. I feel her presence and from time to time smell her roses too. Amen. 🙂 I called out to the Lord and J was sent to respond. Thank God, J listened to God’s call. God bless Her !
Just Danny Speaks 