As a follow up to my writing yesterday about our children. This song came up in my writings so here it is
Truer words have not been spoken.
Mike and The Mechanics.
This song is so true , you know scripture tells us this. Blessed is the peace makers….
Matthew 5 verse 9
9“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
We need to be the peace makers. I have learned through life experience whether I was right or wrong that the chasm needs to be at least attempted to be fixed. God calls us to get our egos and differences out of the way and let go let God.
We all have family stuff , we all have friends stuff we are living imperect lives with stress and problems. but we are also infused with the Holy Spirit that is the presernce of God within us. He can do things that we cannot. He will move us to greatness if we say yes and allow him to show us the way.
Never leave a word unsaid with anyone that you love because none of us knows when that opportunity will come to an end.
The first thing I would like to say is sorry. A friend told me that my blog experienced a loss of some of the attached video files. I have no idea why. I spent about 5 hours restoring the blog entrees so that they function as I intended them to do. Just another challenge. 🙂
I will go further back into the blog all 270 or so and make sure that they all are in working order.
This blog needs to function as God intended it to in order to help others.
The plain truth of the matter about my personal life is this. I am a man in the dessert of my life at this moment and I am living this life challenge to the best of my ability.
I know God’s awesome power, I am living it. Up until 5 years ago you could ask everyone that knows me that I was the fun creative guy in the crowd who was just not very serious.
5 years ago God took my life into a different rhelm one that I never knew existed. Just as I was starting to try to figure out that whole experience my business slowed down and I now was facing economic changes in my personal life. After these two life events took aim and attacked my life , my mother fell gravely ill in the Spring of 2011. We spent everyday at my mom’s bedside until she went home the day before Thanksgiving of that same year. In the meantime the Spring of 2012 brought me terminal brain cancer. Since that diagnosis God again moved in my life and has made incredible things happen to me. My mom went to the Lord Aug, 2013 and even given my faith it hurt like heck and still does.
The next piece to my life journey is this blog. This blog is my third form of Spiritual writing that I have been called to do. I have to state again for the record that I am no writer. It is not a natural process for me. I am not an open book type of person but I have become one by God’s design. At one point I began to write that I needed to die to self. I have come to understand exactly what that means as I spilled my life out in my different writing endeavors.
I also know that this is my calling in this moment. I feel a sense of peace in my soul that this is my job for God. I am to witness my journey and his Victory in my life defeating an evil that attacked me to silence my voice.
I know that this is my truth. The other part of me Danny the average regular guy has struggled to keep up with all of these monumental life changes. It still seams like fantasy Island at times. I am being completely honest with you.
I needed the week away from this blog to just stop the process. I have spent time just being. I have spent a lot of time sitting before the Lord in the chapel.
It was beautiful but it is work keeping silent and stopping my mind from wandering. Silence also makes you take on the issues in your heart and mind very honestly. It is a tough and necessary process though. Life is easy when you drown out everything with work, noise, tv and music.
God does not call us to be constantly distracted , he wants our attention. He wants a conversation with us.
In the chapel I feel so peaceful. God is present. I opened my heart up to God in a very special way last Monday while in the chapel and felt a warmth surround me like I was being hugged it was breathtaking.
Moments like that are the reason that I believe that I am not crazy but I am human who is living an Spiritual journey thus I cannot fully comprehend everything that was and is taking place.
I have always said that this blog would be honest. I have described my life very thoroughly as I have lived it daily. The highs the lows and the hum drum.
On Wednesday 3-25-15 I woke up early and got ready and moved my car out of my wife’s way so she could get to work. I then had breakfast and went to physical therapy by 8:00 am .
The day was a series of household little projects that I can do physically and I went to the chapel to sit quietly and pray. It was great to be out and about.
The day was beautiful and I was exhausted I said good night to the bride at 11:00 pm and went up to bed. I fell asleep immediately as I was doing my night prayer and I woke as usual at 4:OO am I glanced at my wife’s clock and decided to get up. I went to position my self to get up and I was already at the edge of the bed so off I went, the whole body off the bed and onto the floor. There was a huge bang and my wife jumped up an yelled omg are you all right? Did you bang your head? Is anything broken? I just said no , I am fine. I just have to figure out a strategy of how to get myself up off of the floor. She offered to help or get the kids and I said no, I need to figure this out on my own in case it ever happens when I am alone. So, she watched as I manipulated my body with its weak left side by dragging it and finally I got my chest on the edge of the mattress. I was then able to transfer my weight to the bed and lifted my body with my right leg and arm. I managed to joke and laugh throughout the ordeal but it was a harsh reality of my daily journey. I felt bad for my wife to yet have to deal with another fright, another sad moment. I said to a friend this morning yes God has blessed me with a upbeat disposition but life is not easy. It kinda stinks sometimes.
I was thankful for a couple of things. I was thankful that although I fell off the bed and hit the floor so hard that I was not hurt.
Interestingly enough. I fell on top off my dogs bed that is beside my bed. My black lab died suddenly the third week of DEC 2014 and I missed her sleeping on the floor beside me. She was such a good friend and protector of me. When she died I had the thick cushioned bed washed and put back beside my bed. I would look at it and think of her. It gave me comfort. Well early this morning I landed on that dog bed and the 3 or 4 inches of cushioning saved my left shoulder, hip and head from having a hard hit as I made contact with the hard surface.
It was yet again another moment in my life that I am grateful for Divine protection from above. I believe that the need to keep her bed beside mine was an inspiration from above so thank you God for that.
Hill song Trust in You.
In life we have to get up ,shake it off and set the course to move forward with gratitude for all that we have. Amen.
You know, in life we hear stories of hero’s and stars.
To me the true stars in society are the regular guys that despite their lot in life kick the walls of adversity down and bring a smile , joy, light and laughter to others around them. That’s what I call a hero. They are GOD strong and are truly living.
This wonderful man used humor to alleviate stress and to make bearable a horrible circumstance. It’s funny, I am driving now after 3 years of being sidelined. I have no where to rush to so I just roll on to see my dad, roll on down to the chapel and do local erands. I have not even gotten into visiting friends yet. But there is a big difference in attitude of the drivers out there since I stopped driving 3 years ago. People are super agitated, angry it is crazy how hostile it can be out on the road.
I wonder if the long winter has caused people to be less patient.
I think to my self why are people so short fused?
Perhaps people could take a lesson from a few of the people below. I have learned the same lessons as they have. Count your blessings and smile when you are doing the mundane things or when a car takes a second longer than it should out of the green light. I watch people tailgating, passing blowing the horns etc and I am thinking to myself, for what? I have seen a few of the drivers especially the elderly very afraid looking. It is very sad to see.
Another thing that I would like to say in this moment is this. Dov was no less than the Miracle that he was in life after he went to the Lord. He was a miracle by his Strong Spirit a gift from God and he touched so many by living his Victory despite his terrible lot. He lives on in our hearts and memories of what beauty, courage and hope that there is in our brothers and sisters out there.
Also, the most beautiful thing that we all need to remember is this, as Easter reminds us that Jesus came for our sins and to take eternal death from us that Dov and all of us have an eternity of joy laying ahead of us. Amen.
We are all born of our parents by the miracle of God’s design of creation. I am sitting here today with Spring outside and I am just so enamored by its beauty
I was thinking about the fact that it is no coincidence as to where we are born and live. God predestined that for us before our birth that fact is stated in Psalm # 139.
Our lives are mysteries to us but they are not a mystery to God.
I love being a New Englander. The snow never bothered me until I became handicapped and have been reminded to be careful not to fall on the ice because if I hurt my right arm I can not take care of myself.
I love that I again live here. Since my illness almost took my life I am very cognizant of Everything around me like I have New eyes looking out, like a new sense of smell and a crisper ear to hear nature. I have been in essence a prisioner in my own home. The one thing I counted on was to watch the Seasons Change with anticipation of it and then projecting forward to the next season to see what would come.
NEW ENGLAND IN THE SPRING
When I was diagnosed with terminal cancer nearly 3 years ago, I projected my self towards the different Seasons that were coming birthdays and anniversaries. Projecting gave me a reason to fight for life. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring including me. I have my next scan the end of. April. 🙂
Okay, the bottom line is this I look at each day and each opportunity to experience the moments of the day in a new way. To stop and look at the beauty surrounding me , the smells,sights, and sounds of nature.
I came by this beautiful video of New England and it still does not capture its full beauty.
My wife and I got out of dodge for the night Saturday and it was very nice. It seems that since I got sick, I kinda dread going anywhere over night from my home. It just seems like a lot of work physically and emotionally. It is a bit of a hurdle for me.
My New York trip this past Dec made me realize how much I needed to push myself to go, live and experience. And, as I did that in New York I was also confronted with the reality of my disabilities. It was something that I needed to confront and more importantly my wife and I spent priceless time with our friends who hosted us.
A couple of weeks ago a dear friend of my wife called and asked if we would come to dinner to her home in Peterborough NH ,she suggested that we should stay in her guest room so that we would not have to drive home late in the evening.
My wife really wanted to go and I said yes. In my mind I thought to myself God, it’s a long ride, what will the environment be like? Ice, stairs etc.
But, having watched my wife sacrifice and struggle so much over the last three years for my needs and those of my families I said, if she wants to go then I am going. It is her turn for joy. I cannot be selfish.
So yesterday , Saturday , we packed the overnight bag and went to the four o’clock mass. After mass we were off to Peterborough N.H. to see our friends C and her significant other R at their home . We arrived at their home around 6:30 pm and the driveway was heavily sanded so I was relieved that it was not as slippery as it could have been. When I went into the door I saw that there was a 16 step stairwell up to the main level that had no railings. They were in the process of renovation and did not have them up for painting. I took a deep breath and my wife and I headed up. Going up was fine but my immediate question to myself was,how do I get out? I said to myself that’s tomorrow’s concern.
We settled in for the evening and had a wonderful dinner. We shared and talked ubout life our families etc.
I was so pleased to see my wife out of her every day element and just enjoying herself. It made my effort well worth it. Our friends there in NH are very kind and caring people. We ended the evening at 1:00 am and the time just flew. I was awake most of the night but was praying. The accommodations were very nice.I just was not very tired. At 4:00 am I quietly sat up in bed and with no lights grabbed my kindle it was time to get my blog ready for Sunday so it got done and I posted it.
We started out on Sundahy morning and I said okay I need to figure out how to negotiate this stairway they then thought oops they had not thought-of that particular delima. My friend Rick said no problem I will stay right in front of you just use my shoulder so down the stairs we all went. The outside had been sanded again so it was not icy for me and Rick had warmed my wife’s car for us too.
We next followed them to downtown Peterborough for breakfast at the Peterborough diner which is in an old train car. It was packed with patrons and the food was excellent. Apparently the Soprano’ s was filmed there too and every politician seems to drop in there too. It was fun.
We then headed home and my wife made a boiled dinner for the family. She may be Italian but she sure knows how to make a wonderful Irish boiled dinner.
I am finding that I need to say yes to the nicer things in life. God wants us to enjoy this life. It’s not just about surviving life. Not only that but by saying yes to the offer to visit our friends. God gave me a deeper appreciation of our friends and we shared conversation that revealed a faith in God that was really beautiful.
We need to be open to receive. We do not know what God may have planned for us in any given moment. If I had just stayed home on Saturday evening it would have been a real shame a lost opportunity.
Just Danny Speaks 