I had a wonderful client some years ago, He had what you would imagine you wanted financially in life but he lacked one more important thing, he had a very bad heart disease. He was so kind, he had a lovely wife and little dog FiFi, and small white poodle. It was his baby wheras they were unable to have children.
Paul was in his 40’s when he woke up in the middle of the night soaking wet in the middle of a heart attack. His heart was so badly damaged that he could not be helped. He was now permanently disabled. It was very difficult for him and was warned to stay calm. He was a man of faith, and was a real a gentleman. A man who would shake hands and make eye contact with you, that type of guy. I know he was suffering from pains in his chest all the time but had to except it and keep living. Again, an inspiration to me. A brick in my foundation.
I remember, talking to Paul about life and stuff but I only pray that I was able to help him. I was so young and I am not sure that I was that great of a witness. I just know that he was a loving and kind man Good to his , wife, mom and dad who were quite elderly too.
Paul was away with his wife mom and dad and stepped out to pick up pizza after a while he had not returned they went out and found him lieing beside his car he had gone out and collapsed. I remember his wife calling me and I visited her and Pauls parents to offer my condolences. Going back to my writing on losing something Sacred , the loss of a child . Pauls mom and dad were devestated, this was there baby that was lost.
We need to validate those we love and let them know daily. I remember these beautiful people and also know that they are with God.
In The Beginning of true Spiritual awakening of all of us is a long time in the making. We experience different levels of awareness in God, his existence and supreme gift to us all and I m not talking about life 🙂 That is a Miracle in itself. I am referring to the gift of The Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit as far as I am concerned is our bridge to the Almighty, he facilitates all that is good, he inspires us, he warns us,he allows God to fill us with joy and allows our conscience to feel guilt for a wrong doing.The Holy Spirit will help to bring us to our knees for repentence before our Lord. The Holy Spirit that dwells within every one of us is God given and works in concert with our desires, needs and to allow us to fulfill our destiny for God and his people. We need to allow The Holy Spirit to work with us. We need to pray for his assistance in a meaningful way. I mentioned this in one of my recent blog writing that I began praying and commiting myself to God and the holy Spirit with my daily shower and telling all of Heaven that the water was my rededication and reminder of my baptismal water. I say daily to God that I surrender myself to whatever he wants from me and tell the Holy Spirit to please use me to the best of my ability. Lastly, I call on all of Heaven through my prayers for all of the Angels and Saints to please bestow on me any gifts of the Spirit that I may need in the future. Heaven is for real.:) This is a very special time that we are living in, a time like no other. It is a time of Miracles, it is a time of God’s pouring out of The Holy Spirit and Spiritural gifts for eachone of us. We all have our very own special gifts. Some we are born with some we acquire from God in the moment of his choosing. Our gifts can bend and change over a period of time based on what God wants and needs us to accomplish. The one prerequsite that God has for each of us to open our hearts and desire to be an agent of good to be the light to oneanother. It is simple. Through my childhood, adolescence and even into my 30’s I was always searching for my true God and his existence. I could feel him to a certain degree but the picture was still far from focus. During that time for me the 90’s. Life had a lot of moments of hurts from people you know, daily nonsence. Its hard to see God when you are surrounded by others who are not necessarily in Christ or God based. You are wandering around in a crowd of lost sheep many of which have no idea that they are even lost. I am not judging but it is indeed a fact. Well in the latter part of my 30’s I managed to bring my picture into a little more clarity with prayer and the assistance of others through a beautiful retreat know as Cursillo in a retreat house know as St. Basil’s in Methuen, Ma. that was I believe in Oct 1999. My wife went in November of the same year. It was life changing, the focus and picture was now crystal clear! It was an intersection where God made himself and his presence known. It is a Miracle, just as St. Basils is. You should call and look into this retreat house. It will be the best gift that you can give yourself ! So, I came back from that retreat and one of my friends called me the next day and said, hey Dan, I saw you walking on the water of the lake today 🙂 It was so funny,he knew that I was on Fire .lol Each day that we live sets the stage for the next day and action. So all of the many little or big moments of my daily journey that come out onto this blog journal are always building for a bigger God moment. They are all God moments because he is there with us getting us through. All of our Spiritual Gifts are to be shared. It is not about us. This blog tells my journey through God. It his victory over death (my) and yours. God wants my life psalm #139 shared so that all will see him, and draw closer to our Heavenly Father. 4- 5 years ago, I am not sure of the date, I was called out of the blue into some of the most intense Spiritual experiences that I could ever have imagined. I was blown out of the water, I will just refer to them as writing for my church. The details of those writings were not for us , they are for the church. I will say this anyone with a sense of Spiritural awareness just needs to look at the news or turn on the television to see what is going on. The world is out of balance. This process was stretching myself and family to the max. The Holy Spirit is just so awesome. My spiritual adviser said to me , Dan, lets just see where it goes, and we did. I will explain about this experience at a later date. My first vision, vivid dream, about 4-5 years ago during the time I was doing the church writings. I was asleep and had the most vivid dream. God uses our own lifes experiences and will make them part of his message in my case it was based in my lifes work and I have been for over 30 years through the gift of the Holy Spirit an interior Designer. I have done projects that when I had completed them looked at them and said, God, I did that! I did through God and love alone complete my projects .More on that later too!:) So, I was sleeping and my vision which seemed like forever started. I am giving my account to you exactly as It happened and was told to my priest, my adviser and friend long ago… This remember was more that 3 years before my cancer diagnosis. I walked up to the door of this house and rang the bell. I had decorating samples in my hand. A women came to the door and opened it, I just remember how pleasant she was, I could hear children laughing and she said, excuse me for a moment and walked away off to the left in the direction of the children. I did not see them but heard them laughing. So, I stood there and it seemed like a while, I being the type A personality and loving what I did. I said to myself, I will just walk in to the right here and see what she needs. So the interior was very itherial everything was a very soothing white color. It was extremely peaceful. I just kept walking and ahead of me was a hallway with a very bright light people were coming out of the light and passing me again all faces were non descript, everything was very etherial and white. I noticed that there was something on the wall that everyone that came out of the hall seemed to be stopping to look at so, I wandered over to it and looked and was a very pale colored picture I recognized it immediately. It was the shroud of Turin. I have to say this too, I had never given 1 seconds thought to the shroud in my life yet here it was . Well any way I could hear voices from down the end of the long extremely bright hallway and hear a booming voice and laughter it was pure joy. When I got to the entrance I realized, I shouldn’t be here, I had wondered from where I was left to wait. I would never wander around my clients home. So, I returned to where I was waiting by the door. I was getting annoyed and it was like 4 hours. Well, the really pleasant women was back and said she was sorry for the delay and she opened the door to the left of me. The children were quiet now and she guided me into the room. I stood there and there was a very large white table in front of me. As I stood there the women was standing to the left side of the table looking at me and there was another figure to the right side of the table looking at me as well. The women looked at me and, I felt love like I had never felt before. She said again sorry for the wait, I remember having been so angry to had to wait 4 hours for her to return and , I just responded its okay and she said to me you are an angel. Of course, I told Father I am certainly not, I am a sinner like everyone. I remember feeling intense love. I knew that it was my Blessed Mother. She without a word uttered pointed down to the table and moved her hand over the surface as if she wiped the table and the white milky color left and it now had a clear glass. It was a case. I could see all kinds of relics, bottles of oils, and religous statues related to my faith and she spoke these words to me, We want you to have many Spiritual gifts. And that was it. I woke up and is as alive today and vivid as the time that it occured. I have had years to think of why The Blessed Mother would call me an angel, because I am not. So I have a couple of thoughts on that. 1.) She knowing that I was upset with waiting for her which my Blessed Mother would know and yet I told her no problem thought that I was kind? 2.) Everything that I have done in writing including this blog through the Holy Spirit is never about me or any one of us . We are all loved the same. And what mother does not look upon her child at least as an angel in training? 🙂 Thats the best I can do on that thought last but not least the booming laughter and joy was, I know, was Our God! I was given a glimpse of Heaven. I pray everyday to continue to grow for his purpose and into his will completely . Amen. Better Is one day In Your House By Kutless https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdE03zRJtxw In Christs Holy Name, Danny
I was thinking over the last few days about all of the worry and thoughts that race through our minds. Have you ever been sitting there relaxing in a chair peacefully and then a thought or worry comes from left field you literally have to get up and walk it off. It used to happen to me me from time to time a couple of years ago. I was also able to happen to me while being in the midst of a gethering of some sort. For me, it was usually based in business and family related issues. It all stems from scheduling issues and trying to juggle work schedule with my wife and kids. On top of that my wife and I were helping with the care of her mom and dad. So, things were so busy. I could be in a chair one moment relaxing and a troubling thought or worry based emotion would throw me off the chair like a top. I would some times get out of the chair and try to walk it off. You also cannot run from your mind as I came to learn. These events would essentially make my brain freeze like an overload.( I know we all have them) I needed to get a grip on what was going on! I think doing too much sometimes makes us feel good and successful. But in hein sight If back in that day I had been more rooted in God and was not trying to be all to everybody and save everbody that it would have been a healthier thing for myself and others. We need to trust in God. If, we are doing things from the heart then God is in it with us. But, we need to know his word, the bible before we can be successful. I was in so much personal pain and nobody really knew what was going on inside of me .Remember I was the face of an A personality. Everything was fine outwardly but inside I was burning out, I was mastering my ship onto the rocks. My drug of choice was food. it became my personal joke. The first one at the buffet table I would laugh but it really was not funny to me, it was shame with a laugh attached to it.
During my healing with this cancer illness and combined with writings I had done for my church. A calling that I received from God to sound a horn of a warning to the church and later an email chain from God to his people to turn back to him they were called love letters from God. It was also back at that time that I began to be enlightened through the Spirit and learned more about who I am the good and the bad aspects. I have to share it all in this blog as I said before this is my chance to tell God’s story of victory not just for me but for eachone of us personally. Some of the stuff that will come out with blog is just so fantastic and it is what it is, the glory of God.You see prior to 2012 and the onset of this illness I was under the wrong understanding of what helping others is all about. I did not realize what I was doing at the time but it was hurtful to myself, my family and yes even to those I thought I was helping.
I came to realize after many years and once I began to write in the Holy Spirit that I cannot save anyone including myself. Jesus saves us. We are called to be Jesus to oneanother. We need to pray for eachother, support etc, but we also have to give everyone the diginity of their own decisions. We can show a way if asked to help someone but cannot always drive them there. It is their free will choice. God knows where they are truely at, far better than we do.
God speaks of helping in one of his parables that you can show a man how to fish, but we are not required to feed them forever, meaning that he does want us to help and support them but we cannot carry them forever. If they are not handicapped and are capable of course. They will never learn to find who they are in God for themselves. God gives everyone very special gifts of their own. Their is so much diginty that a person derives in taking on their destiny and seeing what God has in store for them! While I was playing God with these people they were carried and did not learn, I was handicapping them with love and assistance. It was when I hit the wall, and realized I could not do anymore that they were forced to get up and get on and find their way. My mom and dad would simply say to me you are doing too much! And, it was true, I was. My wife was trying to stop me but again, me being me I had to learn for myself, I needed to learn and be humbled. What I did was done out of love but it was not done with the right understanding of God’s teaching. It also depleated me , exhausted my wife and made life messy.
My wife and I recently had the pleasure of having lunch with very dear friends, our friend said that she kind of had to retreat from everyone but her family and husband. She was spent at the moment and needed to recharge. She too is a doer, and really tries to help out everyone. They have hearts of gold. So, God Bless them.
I had so many people as I said before in another writing say that I needed to tell this story. Someone I was talking to a few months ago said Dan it can be a taxing process. So becareful you do not give too much of yourself up in the process. Hearing my friends the other day tell me of their need to slow it down, I understand it and see that what I have to share is my responcibility to help others but they are in fact work. I believe that is what God has ordained for me in this moment so if they do not come everyday they will come in God’s time, for God’s glory.
Well, back to the point 🙂
Like the old saying goes in every life some rain must fall. Today it is pouring out and I woke up happy to see it. Rain cleans and washes the enviornment and gives our plants grass trees and watershed water that is needed to keep things in balance.
I, like all of you need to be replenished by the rain in our lives, Just as Jesus was baptised in the river Jordan by John the Babtist . I too was babtised as a child in my parish at that time of St. Agnes in Arlington. We are one with Jesus.
About 10 or 12 years ago, I attended a meeting of the St Frances DeSalles Society at one of our friends homes. One of the teachings was to everyday when we shower to consider the water to be a reminder of our baptism. I rededicate myself during that time to God and the HolySpirit everday in prayer that I say yes to do their will to the best of my ability.
Last night while lieing in bed my mind went through the days activities and assessed where God was in it . The moments that we learn something or teach something to one another. Two of brothers and I were together for a brief time today to pay respects to a wonderful young man who tragically passed and his family. During our time together we discussed different things going on in our lives, this world, and our culture.
I finished my evening prayers, and laid there on the twilight edge of sleep and listened for Gods voice or word to inspire and soothe me. Well, he did but it had a hint of sadness to it which made me stir a bit.
God uses things that I understand to allow me to understand What he is saying in any given moment to me. It is the same for all of you as well.The Holy Spirit is working with us always. There is a response/ psalm that is used in my church from time to time which stepped forth in my mind and I could hear it but the word and implication was different.
This is the whole song version , so it is longer than the verson we use at my church. It is haunting, and what God was saying to me last night was why have so many in this world abandoneded him at the foot of the cross? Is it good that we wander off to face the wolves alone? I do not think so. Life can be challenging.
here it is.
Responsorial Psalm 22:
Dandan Soy
God is our protection and there are forces darker in the world that would want us hopeless. I strongly feel that if had not stayed stay at the foot of the cross with Jesus during my life It would have been impossible for God to heal me and build me up one again, my heart was open and hopeful. Like a branch that falls from that the tree I would be dead not just physically but more importantly I believe that i would be eternally dead in my soul.
So, I needed to share this with you all. I know it sounds heavy, but to me it is.
I want to always be honest in all my writing irregardless of how fantastic it sounds. bacause God knows the hows, why’s and whens. We just need to say yes.
Enjoy this next video, I love it
This video was shot in the ruins of the colisseum where meny Christians were killed by the lions just for amusement and because of their religious beliefs. Remember Daniel and the lion den?
Amazing Grace II Divo
my next blog will re in reference to Beginning treatment at Dana farber.
This song represents so many aspects of my life. Even a Cancer diagnosis as I said before has a silver lining too. I have done so much of what this song and lyrics say. Please look at the lyrics, we all need to purhaps hit the reset button. I know life has done that for me , and I thank God that I was blessed with the adversity that helped me to find my biggest treasure, namely God!
We are all works in progress daily. 🙂
For 2 years since my cancer diagnosis my recliner became my place, my prision whatever I deemed it to be moment by moment. As I accepted my new life not knowing if my chair would be permanent location until death do we part. lol Sorry, I do have a dark sense of humor and it makes me laugh. 🙂
Well I am out of that chair a lot more more often now. It is just my redocking station now 🙂 Praise God!, and the mantra what am I going to do with my life? along with the prayer, God pleasegive me a direction! I said God whatever you want, I will do. Just so long as it pleases you and helps others. I would be so grateful.. This blog was over 2 years in the making of praying and waiting. Waiting as I came to understand is what God required me to learn before he could answer me. I have so many people, family ,friends and medical people tell me that I needed to share this story, blog, put pen to paper, write a book, whatever. I just felt who am I to do this? Then I thought it is the truth and for God’s glory. So why would God not have me write of this? I figured God was useing all of my friends, family and medical people to give me my answer that I had prayed for and to encourage me to step in and respond to his call. I know the writing is helping me to find things hidden in my mind like thoughts,memories,sorrows,love,shame. Do I like all of these things?, Not all of them! But, that is not the point. The point is stuff in the shadows that lirk and play havoc in our lives and our Spirits are not good and are not of God. They are evil and keep us in bondage. We can be healed from these things. Drag them out into the light of God’s presence, pray on them and God will bring the healing to them and you will be made a new creation. Secrets and hurts are cancer in our minds, souls and the Holy Spirit and as a result I believe our physical health suffers.The child inside does not have to anguish forever, we have an obligation to that child to find him and her peace and fix and heal the wounds of this lifes journey. We are the children of the light, we are called by God to radiate our love and faith to all we meet irregardless to our personal story or struggles. Perfection is not required just a heart that is willing to serve. It is in helping others that we are healed.. With healing of our inner child comes a whole host of benefits. We find peace, forgiveness, self love, and allow The Holy Spirit to work in us and through us in a very harmoniously way honoring God and validating his love to those who need him. People are attracted to a peaceful spirit. I sincerely hope these writings resonate with all of my brothers and sisters out there and that you too can find the healing peace of our Lord Jesus Christ/ God. Amen. These writings are Spirit Driven, with my love and kinship with you all at its core.
You are all in my prayers for whatever your needs might be, God knows who you are and what you need. Please pray for my family and this world we all need them.:)
In my chair over the last two years, I have been in contact with so many people, many of which I have never met in person. Yet, the nature of our discussions cut direct to the quick as my mom used to say. I have more to share about my mom in another writing. She was a force to be wrecken with in a very good way. Like she would say, emmulated by some , surpassed by none, as she would laugh. 🙂
I have prayed with them, shared with them and I truely believe that they helped to sustain me through what seemed like a very long winter. I in return, hope that I was able to comfort them as well. Some of them are still here with us and some have earned their reward and the Lord took them to a glory that I can only imagine.I do know it exists, God showed me glimpses of Heaven when I was at my sickest. Again, for another time they will be an emotional thing to communicate but it will happen. God gave them to me to shared at the appropriate time.I miss those who have gone before me and my heart is better having known them. They were courageous, God fearing, and good human beings I hope to see them on the day that the Lord calls me home.
Some info on my first healing…
I had a spontaneous healing by God in the third week of Dec 2010 while praying. I was working on a job site. My right knee and right shoulder were healed. I went to my doctor in January 2011 he asked about my shoulder, I had been in terrible pain for a long time but was afraid of the doctor, and surgery etc. My wife had to literally force me to go.
So on that day, my primary care doctor came in smiled and said nice to see you, hows that shoulder I said looking down I know this is going to sound weird but a few weeks ago i had a healing of the knee and shoulder while working and praying. He looked at me and said show me and I went on and showed the the painless movement he gently smiled, I said what do you think? He gave a great smile to me and said Praise God! For the first time I found out that my primary care provider was a believer which was wonderful but more importantly I realized for the first time I was so grateful to be healed (like I deserved it)? No, what I realized is that the honor should go right back to God. I had kept it quiet because i figured people would think that I was crazy. Up to that point I had not realized the magnitude of his gift. I did nothing but pray for me, my situation, business was slowing down etc and he responded. I guess if I am going into this story I should paint the picture and take you back to the night before the event and keep it factual. Because God is magnificent and the Holy Spirit is pushing me on to do so, here we go…
It was the third week of December 2010, Tuesday of that week…
Business was slowing a bit plus the seasonal lull, who wants workmen in their home right before Christmas. Thank God my brother Steve and sister in law Nancy did 🙂
Tuesday, I loaded all of my painting and decorating materials into my vehicle and it was not easy my shoulder was humming. That evening I told my wife I was going over to Steve house to work the next day. I was doing a large amount of work, all raw plaster miles of ceiling’s, all new walls and trim. My wifes response was thats good then she said how can you do all this work with your shoulder? I said, I don’t know? I said we need the money . I said God’s just going to have to get me through. You have to realize that I could not even sleep good at that time. At night I would lift my arm above my head while sleeping all the time which only damaged my shoulder more. We even discussed strapping my arm to my side while in bed to stop myself from doing this. So, Wednesday morning rolled around and I got out of bed and off I went to my brothers home. I went trip by trip carrying and unloading back and forth until everything was out of my car. I said hello to Nancy’s mom who was upstairs to let her know that it was only me.
I proceeded into the work zone and had to sand everything with my extension pole,I do mean everything! To me it had to be perfection. They deserved it, like everyone I ever was blessed to work with.
December 2010 was the winter of never ending snow if you remember. I was working in one of the areas where there was a bank of windows and as I was working the radio was playing and Christmas music was on, I gazed out the window onto the gorgeous lanscape of the abundance of snow and its beauty. I remember thanking God, for the blessing of this job and my heart was filled with such graditude. The next thing that happened as God as my witness is as follows,
I was looking with my head out the window and heard in my head the word shoulder. I looked up stunned and realized both of my hands were above my head sanding the ceilings. i had an extension pole which requires both hands to do this. I had been working for around 3 hours at this pont, with no pain and did not even notice, very strange. I said Oh…… And a serge went from my feet to my head 3 times the last time the breathe was knocked out of my body like an estacy, I felt overwhelming love and then took my good hand and began to rub my bad shoulder that did not hurt anymore, my knee was not grinding nor was it swollen. I cried and ran the stairs to share with Nancy’s mom Madeline. She was busy doing the rosary at the time. I was in the place where God wanted me that day, I was in a very prayerful place personally and my heart was pouring out graditude and praise to my creator. He ansered my prayers more that I could ever have imagined. I had a lot of pain for a long time and I am glad to have had that gift of suffering because I grew and learned the word surrender.I also learned from my master a love that is not of this world.
If you could please for pray for
Lacey and her family lost their father who was a believer a very wonderful man. . He was battling cancer.
Also,
Please , keep in your prayers also a young man Steve who died tragically. I got word this morning. He was a wonderful man from a great family.
My illness took me, a type A personality who never stopped and alterered my whole reality and my identity of who I was to myself, my family and the world. I went from super dooer to a person who relied on everyone especially my wife and kids, family and many friends for the majority of my daily needs. I remember the personal guilt of feeling as is if I failed my family and those who relied on me at that time. My mom and dad included. The fact that I could not work, and am still not to this date, had really weighed on me . All the desires on my behalf of getting out of here have fallen short do to my slow but steady progress of recovery and the rebounding energy drain from treatment etc. I am a Roman Cathoilc by my parents choice at baptism, by the sacrament of Holy Communion , Confirmation etc. Having said that, I do believe is at some time in everyone’s life we are all born again. What I am trying to convey however clumby it may be is this. To me God, My personal God is waiting for us to personally meet him with a heart that yearns for him. I had always done the works before I had cancer. When I was a very young child I was a paperboy. On Thursday evenings I would go out deliver my evening route and collect the money from the customers, hopefully with a tip.:) I am guessing I was nineish. On Glen Ave in Arlington I had a number of clients, one inparticular has stayed in my heart and mind all theses years. Her name was Esther Sullivan. She lived in a second flloor apartment of a two family home. i would go up to her door ring the bell and there would be a buzz and the door would up lock for me. it was like Star trec or something. She could not do stairs easily anyway so, I would bring her paper up to her and her siamese cat would hiss at me.i though he was scary and exciting. His name was Tao. But, I digress. lol So anyways, during my visits. I would carry things in the kitchen because she was by herself and i wanted to. I began to spend a few more minutes there just talking to her about what ? maybe worms :)I then began to wash her kitchen floor her, I then went home and told my mom about Esther or in that day Mrs. Sullivan 🙂 My mom was making a cake at the time so I said mom can you make a little cake out of a small chicken pot pie tin, she was very compliant with my request and taada, Esther was getting a small cake weekly delivered in my mail bag on my stingray bike. The bottom line to this saga is this as a child our love and innocense guides so much. it is like the right thing to do is easily less complicated. Were just guided by God’s goodness and the Holy Spirit. As I got older personally doing good works and deeds became also combined with the fun of the crowd social aspect etc. Sorry was it really for God? The jury is still out. During my time here in a recliner ,I have had a lot of time to evaluate everything, not by emotion but by the Gold standard God, his teaching, commandments and what is this whole thing about meaning life. I do not know all the answers, i suspect I never will but I know the most important thing. God! He call us to love eachother the way that he loves us. God wants us to go to him for forgiveness , in my case that would be the confessional. because, I have learned that I need to forgive myself what i felt was my failure by getting sick and altering my whole families world. through my prayer, my confessional visits and a wonderful Priest, God has healed much more of my life that my body, my Spirit is awake and aware and the vision of myself as danny the person can love himself a lot more and accept that i did not bring this on myself. neither did God but he getting me through it one way or the other. He is the boss! He doing the very same for you all and always has. Well, One day I made my way to Esthers stairway rang the bell and there was no response after a few minutes, a man opened the screen door on the first floor and I said i was looking for mrs. Sullivan and he said she does not live here anymore. I still miss her today.Some times I wonder If she was sent as an angel into my life to see if I would respond to God’s calling. On a kind of sillier note I hope she was allowed to eat sugar and my little cakes were not leathal. Well in closing in Danny’s world here, I have made an effort whoever clumbsy to find God and it took diagnosis day when the Good Shepperd met me where I was at. We need to work our faith and pray even when we cannot feel anything. God will not fail to respond. And furthermore he will always meet us in the moment. Here is here. Feel the breeze on your face look at the beauty of a baby that you encounter it is that easy.
So, What is a miracle? To me every one of is a miracle from conception to natural death. Even in my toughest personal times I have found that there is always beauty. Yes, it is true that I would not have desired to be striken by brain cancer especially for my family. I have been Blessed with a beautiful wife, four great kids and an angel in heaven. This is not the garden that God had originally intended for us all so it is what it is we all call life. The bottom line to me is that God has already saved us, by the shedding of his son’s blood upon the cross, that is of course my Lord and Savoir.
I personally do not worry about what will happen to me tommorrow. I have had so many wonderful people touch my life since my birth and I people always seemed to me to be a positive thing to my foundation and mind set. I have never felt that I have had adversity in my life even throuhout this prediciment. People look at me when I say that but i honesty feel that to my core. I am not a victim. We are all traveling the road of life and we do not always know when we will hit a corner, dead end, traffic light or intersection. Over two years ago with my diagnosis I came to an intersection. I got a sign by God’s stepping in and announcing to me that the cancer was not his and I did not own it. The sign on the road of my life read yeild. It was an immediate command and by Jesus Christ alone was I placed into such a state of peace that has never left me. The doctors at first were thinking the poor guy is in denial or whatever but as they all came to understand that it is my real personal state not because of me but because of God. I reminded my doctor at my last scan. God told us that I would be healed and he said yes, you did say that. My wife, while getting ready to go to one of my appointments said I have questions, I said ask the doctor anything that you need to ask him. So, off we went to see My Doctor and when we got into his office after my scan, I said to the doctor and also to help ease my wife Dr. Janet has questions whatever the answers are don’t worry please just tell her. I am fine whatever the answer might be. It does not bother me. It was all about if the cancer will come back ,signs to look for etc. The last question was pretty amazing. You know Doctors do not use words lightly mine included. I love my doctor and all of my doctors for that matter. He said he had one of his oldest survivor in the day before it was 16 years. After a few minutes and looking at my clear scan he said I think your one of those, he said he is like you just incredible faith. I took that as a word of knowledge from my Dr’s lips from God. The bottom line is this and I love this saying,
God does not expect us to do miracles, he expects us to believe that he will ! 🙂
These doctors, nurses and medical people are very special. The are front line in so many peoples life stories in writings done so long ago under the title love letters from God. These personal life stories were referred to as our own personal psalms. Like the Holy Bible Psalm #139. God know all about our days.Please read it when you have a chance it gives me great comfort . He is the author of life. I do believe that that is the truth. The free will of how we decide to handle our life situations will chart where our lives,faith, minds and ultimately where our souls end up.
In my situation, I have learned to see more clearly, yes, I have had down moments, i am a regular guy far from perfect. But, I can see perfection in a different way now. I have been left with some left side disability. I was in a wheel chair, i then progressed to a walker, then a 4 prong cain and finally a single cain that i use when i go out to safeguard myself from a fall.
One thing that I do know is across the board every doctor and physical therapist i have seen has said just how amazing my case and continued healing is. You see God has begun in my mind his time of miracles and i believe they will only become more vivid so to get everyones attention.
I pray for everyone whether I know you or not because part of the silver lining on my journeys is seeing love in everyone, seeing the beauty in nature and the smells of the changing seasons. It is like I lost some mobility and others senses in my body woke up.
one fact that I really do feel and always have since D day (diagnosis) is that whether I live 1 more day or thirty more years is that I would not be one incling less of the miracle that God intended me to be. The same is true for each one of you too
One of the great saying that I was taught early one was this, I honestly cannot remember who but they said, Yesterday is a canceled check, Tommorrow is a prommisory note, today is ready cash so use it and it just stuck with me.
I am not a writer so I will say this one time for however long this blog goes for, please forgive typos, comma placement, run ons, and popping back and forth between thoughts. It may not be pretty but it is real. thx
So, in closing use your cash today and stay in the moment. 🙂 God is right here.
I have cancer, cancer is not of God, I do not own this cancer.
Those are the exact words that came out of my mouth through the Holy Spirit of God in the doctors office. The doctor was just about to inform me that I had Glioblastoma multiform grade 4 and that it was non surgical. The words that God delivered in that room from my mouth sent an awareness like a wave of God’s presence in that moment, we all felt it. And, guess what? He is with us in every moment that is why 2.5 years later I sit upright in my chair here, breathing, happy and more alive than I have ever been. You see the doctors know statistics like months to live and understand the deseases that what they are striving to control and eradicate. They are very special persons. Their gift of the Spirit allows them to be the healing hands of Jesus. I told them through the Spirit that God selected them in this time to help me through his (Gods) medicines, machines,and their hands. All of theses elements are Spirit driven and inspired by our magnificent creator. For the record, I was 50 years old at diagnosis. I am currently 52 years and 4 months old. I am cancer free/ tumor free and am healing daily. They say its a miracle, I know its God.
This blog is for God’s glory not mine and I will contunue to follow up , fill in the blanks of this incredible journey that I have been on. I want to share one very common thread that binds us all together. God loves us all the same, immeasurably . No one is any more or less valuable than the other. He is our Good Sheppard , like my blog page banner picture dipicts anyone of us could be that precious sheep being help by Jesus. He will never leave or forsake us.
This is the time of miracles so Believe!
So, if my blog helps even one person than my writing will have been expressly what God wanted.
God bless You!
Danny
PS todays , my first blog will be dedicated to my 86 year old dad. Today is his birthday, I want to be just like him when I grow up. 🙂
Just Danny Speaks 