Tag Archives: trust

Writing to free ourselves and to heal.

31 Saturday Jan 2015

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I as you all know love music. I love orchestral music as well. The group on the music links below I loved as a kid. And, I still appreciate them now.

Certain music stands out in each generation. They had a very unique sound.

The first song, “Nights in white satin” has different possible meanings. That is what good writing of lyrics can do. It allows the listener to climb into the message and emotion of the song. Our life’s events and circumstances attach to the music and it forever brings that event back to life in our minds and allows our emotions to be moved when  the first note plays. It is a beautiful gift from God.

I believe this song when compared to my life and all the years that I have  lived could best be interpreted this way for me…

This song to me is about relationships on so many levels. Who has not written a letter or at least went through the cerebral thought process of what would be said to a person who deeply upsets us and we wanted them to know.

I have written one such letter in my life. It depleted me  and  I found it exhausting to write by hand I might add and it went into a stamped envelope. Fortunately just before I mailed it out by the grace of God I heard in my head one word. No.

I brought that word No to prayer and realized that my writing of that letter with such detail and raw specificity was a cathartic measure to help me to empty the hurt out fully. So, I felt peace and tore the letter to shreds.

The letter was blatantly true, what I found at the end of this writing  which was heavy with vitriol was the fact that I forgave them and loved them. I actually cried when I finished that letter. I gave forgiveness in my heart to them. This is another case once again where holding your emotions in check is vital.

Had I just thrown that letter into the mail. I would have devastated the recipient of the letter. She was not equipped to deal with the truth. She knew the truth , but most likely would never have owned  it or admitted it to me. By this time in my life and faith walk with God he had shown me my own short comings so how could I judge her personal falter?  Like the bible says, take the log out of your own eye before you try and take a splinter out of some one else’s. Amen to that.

Remember, some letters never should be sent. I do not believe that we always have to have the last word or so called closure. We are suppose to be Jesus to oneanother and we are expected to show a measured mercy to our offenders.

Let me state that to me forgiveness is paramount . After that if a relationship is unhealthy It is important to protect and distance yourself from that person or situation. You do not need to talk about them , just let them be. God is working in their lives too.

We just need to look at the cross to our teacher Jesus Christ and  his words as he was brutally murdered on the cross because of our sins. FORGIVE THEM FATHER FOR THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DO.

So, if Jesus could forgive us. I sure the heck could forgive her.

 

We do not always need to be right , because we are not always right.

I strongly feel that my tearing that letter up and not continuing the unhealthy cycle of hurt that she perpetrated was the right thing to do. My actions  must truely have  given her  pause over the years. Her conscience I am sure has been very much in touch with the truth. I also think that she is aware of what honest humble faith is now.

Nights in white satin the moody blues

 

This song below , in her eyes  was written when the lead singers daughter was born and he looked into the beautiful eyes of his child. What parent has not looked at their God given gift of their child and not worried about the direction that the world and society were going in.

It seems as I get older that I have come into the realization that every generation worries about the direction of which society is going . And , I think that it is worthy of our consideration.

But we have something that is more useful than the act of worrying and stressing out about our children’s futures. We have Jesus Christ the author of life watching over us.We need to give our children and families this hopeful and life giving message.

Whatever we as a people do with our earthly pens, laws whatever decisions we make to alter our lives and societies structure can very easily be corrected by the  author of life.  God can always set the story of our lives straight once again. Amen.

 

In her eyes. Moody blues

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=ud7TsATY5eo

 

God Bless You,

Danny

Went with the wind.

29 Thursday Jan 2015

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Well the snow is gone for the moment. I really enjoyed having the kids around during the storm unable to go anywhere. It was fun. Moments that are few and far between these days with my wife and kids schedules being what they are. I was happy  that we could all just be here together. And, I know many of your families enjoyed this time as well.

Fortunately my wife and kids got milk and bread and we did not lose power so it was not bad at all. 🙂

It’s funny, there is so little on television that my family will watch these days. I keep saying to my wife lets get rid of the cable. My wife keeps saying let’s get rid of the phone. We just get junk calls. Our friends and family have our cell #

It seems like life has gotten so much more expensive. When I was a kid we had free tv ,we did not have cell phones, or personal computers. These days, everything costs us monthly. And yes, some technology is good. But not all.

I have spent a whole lot of time alone here over the last almost 3 years.

I would look to find something to watch and kill a little time. I could not read and pray 24 hours a day. :).

My son has Netflix so I watched a few things there too. I sought out things from my childhood, movies etc. It was interesting seeing what was on tv back in the day. Often things were much different to see  as an adult then with a child’s perspective. I was like God no wonder my parents would not watch them with me. They were very corny. I remember watching bat man and thinking gosh I could see things now that as a child I  does not notice. Like the jokers mustache that is under all the caked on makeup.

Although corny,these old shows did have a positive message. It created role models for the kids, the hero’s . 🙂

So many of the shows today are not like that. The subject matter today for the kids is pretty terrible. Everything is heavy duty I think for kids. Kids cannot be just kids anymore.

F.TRoop. very funny.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=xW8zpeqfEy4

Netflix was good with older series. It also had good Christian movies when you searched that term and they popped right up.

My brother and I were talking one evening probably 6 months  ago and he told me about the station’s up tv, cozy tv and ME tv which has classic tv shows. So, I found them and have found some good shows and some that I had never actually watched before.

Yes, some of these shows are a little corny but they were well intentioned and humorous without the vulgarity, sleeze and they Don’t insult you like so many of the programs do today.

I just recently found the Carol Brunette show. I heard of it years back but never had watched it. I think my grand parents use to watch her.

Like I say, we need healthy diversions in our lives. So keep laughing.

Carol Brunette the kidnapping.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=ojMFk18Z0Bs

Went with the wind. 🙂

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=pjUYw2HKB7o

 

FUNNY OLDER MAN LAUGHING.

if this does not make you laugh, nothing will. 🙂 I have a nephew that can laugh like this. He brings such joy to our lives.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=tkH1uldKg1A

God Bless You,

Danny

John Bevere The Holy Spirit is your best friend

28 Wednesday Jan 2015

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I have been writing in this blog over the many months another theme that is so true to me and it effects us all so much.

Well, this morning as I began my prayer, I looked at my bible and saw the daily reading. It was one that I have never seen before but how true it is even after thousands of years since it was written.

Romans 8 :6 Amplified bible

https://www.bible.com/bible/8/rom.8.6-8.amp

After reading this scripture and realizing that I had written these words without ever seeing this scripture only reinforced the Special relationship we have with God through the Holy Spirit. I may not have read these words initially but God made sure I learned them. This is a beautiful and powerful message for us all to remember.

It’s  Supernatural with Sid Roth

 

God can ask us to do his works but we need to believe in him and ourselves and say yes. Our lives then become out of this world. 🙂 It is very exciting.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=W2RSLYk_CcU

 

God Bless You,

Danny

I Saw God Today

26 Monday Jan 2015

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For Anne and Family:

Still Hillsong United.  Still.

 

 

I have become accustomed to seeking God out daily particularly since my cancer diagnosis. I had searched for him prior to cancer. But that diagnosis made my personal relationship so much more authentic and more substantial.

I think life can be very confusing, when we know God our personal decisions become easier but we still battle with our own thoughts on a given matter, or we are swayed by our upbringing of how we were thought and finally we have emotions that do not want us to do the right thing. I have learned that we are best when we die to self and do as Jesus would do and show love even in a unlovable situation.

I had the opportunity to speak to a friend yesterday, I would ask you to please pray for A.K.  Anne too suffers from the same diagnosis that I was diagnosed with. She has currently out lived the doctors diagnosis. But, she is apparently now unable to speak and is basically laying in bed.

I told her family friend C yesterday as we spoke. That God’s got Anne and he know where she is at. I also told C. That Anne is not a victim she is a beautiful teacher as she lies there she is showing her loved ones the way of the cross, she is allowing others to serve and learn.

Now, does anyone want to see our loved ones in Anne’s situation ? No.

But, the bottom line is this, God users all situations to help us all.

The final thing I would say is this through personal experience.

Anne could rally and turn around if that is  God’s will. I was very ill and God has pulled me out from my illness for the moment. God has his reason for this. Its not because I am a Saint either.

So, where there is life there is hope and if Anne is called by God, guess what .Anne’s hope is not dashed. God’s got her and she will be reunited with all of her loved ones.

Having lost my mom a year and 1/2 ago, I understand every moment of the vigil and emotions that go when we are loving our dear ones until they take the Lord’s hand.

So, I do not take lightly the difficult process for the family members.

It would be great to just have days of beauty, of joy of moments filled with endless possibilities but that is not life here. We have situations that are out of our control that can dictate where our lives, emotions and hopes will go.

That’s why seeing  through the eyes of faith makes all the difference in the world. We can see the hope regardless of the situation.

So again, Please keep Anne in your prayers. I will perhaps someday give you more information on the person that she is. She has brought much joy to many of the year’s. A gift from God him self. This song suits Anne well, she her….

I Saw God Today-George Strait(With Lyrics)

WRONG NUMBER. laughter is so good for us.

24 Saturday Jan 2015

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In our lives we need to laugh I know that this is a common theme on my blog but the reason is because it is so true. We as a society are very much challenged by our days and all of the sadness that is around us. News, regular life stuff.

We need the balance of laughter to make life joyous. So my attempt to bring humor to my blog here is to show the different types out there. They may not be your style so look for what is and laugh. It makes a big difference in your day. It chemically changes your mood too naturally. God made us wonderfully. Amen.

 

 

Wrong Number with Carol Burnette

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=YCtZu7r6Xyk

Carol Burnett  no frills airline

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=QCz8he36hsk

 

Carol BURNETT

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=ITM0cU3GlZ8

Carol BURNETT

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=LUKYH3jtDMM

 

Young man on pain meds in hospital. Very funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSUs0LhYMaU

 

God Bless You,

Danny

 

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES.

23 Friday Jan 2015

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I had to laugh last night when I was sitting in my chair talking to my brother by phone about life in general I said that I felt so much better. The last two and 1/2 weeks have been my most difficult physically and emotionally that I have ever had. As I wrote during the last two weeks exactly how I felt. Being real in the moment is what it takes to be honest and to help anyone who reads this blog.

I spoke to my  physical therapy practice today, I have not been there  for 3 weeks and my insurance is denying my treatment now. So tomorrow , I will be on the horn to try and get  that decision changed. In the meantime , I have my son setting up my tread mill for my use because I have lots of time to make up for and muscle that needs to be built.

My mind is clear, my resolve is back, it’s about feeding myself.

My action plan is this…

1.) I need to feed myself  spiritually. I need to be grateful to God daily.

2.) I need to feed my body with great nutrition. Low fat, low sugar, and balanced carbs.

3.) I need to step onto the treadmill everyday no matter how I am feeling and walk for as long I can walk. No excuses.

4.) I need to love myself and cannot look at my current physical level of ability and appearance and dislike myself.

YOU KNOW,

God is fully aware of how I feel whether I verbalize it or not. He knows where I am at even better than I do.

But, what he does expect me to do in this moment is to accept this situation, to continue to try and bring my new vision of myself to fruition with positive action all the while knowing that I am called to love myself. GOD expects us to greet each day with hope and a overwhelming sense that God is meeting us and bringing us to where we are to go. We need to show up, for him to work with us.

So, I will begin Danny training again tomorrow and see where I am as we go, I will do my own therapy Danny style as well at Casa del Danny. 🙂

For the record , I must say my physical therapist has never denied me service and I truely love them. I just feel unable to go and take advantage of any one. They are my dear friends and I cannot do that .

So, I will again try the doctors once again tomorrow and insurer and see what happens. I feel so great again, I am on the mountain top ready to go once again.

As I was talking to my brother this evening and said how great I was feeling and

I had  to laugh because a song from my grandmother’s era came into my head and kept playing. Lol    My grandmother was inspiring me and helping me along my road . 🙂

So hear it is..

 

How true these words are. When we are down, just wait, things will right themselves. Hope is abounding if we believe.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES.

THANKS NANA ILENE 🙂 xoxo

 

Dinah Washington

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=OmBxVfQTuvI

AND HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? You’ve  got to smile. 🙂

Tomorrow Annie

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=5PzL8aL6jtI

 

God Bless You,

Danny

What Faith Can Do. Miracles/Everything.

22 Thursday Jan 2015

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God is good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPRFqGNuMfY

Boy talks with God sad but beautiful. This little boys parent have done something very right. Amen.

Faith = God.  God= Miracles. Amen

Catholic Miracles. 

Incorruptables, God’s Glory!

What Faith Can Do Cutlass

 

God Bless You,

Danny

KANSAS And DR. MICHAEL DAVIDSON. BRIGHAMS AND WOMENS

21 Wednesday Jan 2015

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Kansas

Good morning, today, I was up at 5:30 and the cold that has been on me for over two weeks seems to finally be leaving. I am very grateful for this.

Last night was a busy night here with my youngest daughter getting her next semester of college underway. It was good stuff though. I got into bed and began my evening prayer and was looking out of the skylight at the very black sky. It was  like a blank black canvas devoid of any stars. Not a typical night sky.

I was laying there thinking about the day and all that went Into it. I saw some news, as always it seems to be increasingly more depressing.

The story of that day that I found so very sad was the murder of Dr. Michael Davidson at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. I cannot accurately answer the question of why a person would ever hurt  a doctor who is attempting to save lives. Clearly ,the perpetrator had to have been mentally imbalanced. But it is still tragic for everyone especially his family.

During my writings on this blog, I have covered my relationship with my doctors and all of my health Care providers. I as a patient love them as far as I am concerned they are on my team seeking the best outcome for me that they humanly can provide.

That’s right I did say humanly.  Doctors  are just people like us and are subject to everything that we are. I detailed in my writing months ago about the loss of my son Brad Michael that there was an issue with the suctioning technique while removing fluid from his lungs, which triggered his cardiac arrest. After Brad passed from those complications of that error. I made the comment with the Doctors , Now what do we do? They looked at my wife and myself and looked a little worried. I realized my words were not well selected for that moment but I / we were in shock over his loss.

I looked into their eyes and realized the reality of the moment and said , no,no I am not blaming you. I know how hard you worked on Brads behalf. I was just talking out loud about my wife and I being able to pick up the pieces and going on.

After I said that they understood it was my mind trying to keep the situation in a place where emotions can be watched carefully. I was trying to lead my wife through this horrific emotional loss.

You see, Dr.s are amazingly gifted individuals who have a very special calling, they have the same problems that we do but they also feel the weight on their shoulders when it comes to aspect of human life.

For instance, could you imagine waking up on a beautiful April morning going into the hospital as my doctor did and having to then drill into My skull ( his patients)  and then to put a probe deep into my brain to get a biopsy sample of the tumor to grade my cancer  with his hands knowing that one slip could kill me his patient? I could never have done that. And you know , I as the patient understood that there were no guarantees. The only thing that we can rely on is the fact that God, the author of life is there with us.

So, God Bless Dr. Michael Davidson and family may they be comforted by God in this moment.

Also, let us pray for that man that perpetrated this desperate and horrible act. He and his family need prayers now too.

Dr. Michael Davidson

https://commonhealth.wbur.org/2015/01/davidson-brigham-bio

Gratitude Nicole Nordeman

God Bless,

Danny

THE KISS

20 Tuesday Jan 2015

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I AM THE BREAD OF LIFE.  John Michael Talbot

What I truely have missed the last two weeks while being sick Is being able to attend mass in my parish church.. During the  Roman Catholic mass the beauty of the mass opens like a flower before your eyes through prayer, song and scripture and  during the mass we believe that Heaven opens up and joins us in our celebration of the last supper table and its narrative. The priest or Deacon will then say the sacred words that will change the common wine and common unlevin bread through the Eucharistic Miracle, into the  body and blood of Christ.

Like Fr R says, if you want to see a Miracle it’s happening every time you attend mass . I do believe that. I feel the presence of Heaven with me at that moment and as I mentioned in my writing a few days back that at times my mind can wander during mass particularly if I am tired but when that beautiful part of the mass begins I am pulled out of my mind wandering back to the heart of Christ and his life giving gift known as the KISS. /  EUCHARIST as a reminder of what he did and that Jesus considers us his brothers and sisters, we are not the sinners that we could truely be seen as but as part of his father’s ( GOD) family AMEN.

When you recognize that the mass becomes part of the last supper narrative by useing Jesus words. We are united as one. It is a beautiful symbolism that takes a historic event from thousands of years ago and makes us one with our ancestors of faith 1 eternal community.

THE LAST SUPPER SCENE

 

So remember this the next time you sit in your parish church. You were chosen by God to be there.

The alter of marble, wood ,and is equipped with fine chalice s and linen was originally set for us all. We are all around that alter/ table United with Christ. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!

Sweet Sacrament Divine.

Eucharistic Miracles and there are many !

Science Test Faith :Eucharistic Miracle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz9L2EYjjsc

The mass is available on television and online , so I/ we can still spiritually connect and be fed when we cannot attend our church. Eucharistic ministers are available to bring the  consecrated Eucharist to your home so to can receive this blessed gift. Call your local parish if need be.

I am fortunate also that the Blessed Eucharist is brought home for me.Amen.

 

But nothing replaces being right there in church.

God Bless You.

Danny

 

 

DR. Martin Luther King Jr.

19 Monday Jan 2015

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Happy Martin Luther King Jr. DAY

I believe this became a National Holiday back when I was in grade school. He was an amazing man that was for sure fighting without violence to have his people who are just like us except they had a deeper skin pigment. Dr. King was seeking out the equality that given to all men despite their skin color by our creator, God. DR. King  had a calling and a mission that he  lived. God called a Dr King answered that call.  DR. King died in the process but I assure you his Spirit lives on today.  He was and is a hero. Amen.

Dr. King was a noble and Holy man, so let’s pray for his cause . Let people come together in peace and acceptance, and may those that he fought for stand up and move forward with opportunities that are available to them that at one point were denied. Amen.

What the world needs now.

This is a song from that era.  And we still need it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fahg2q9IrAs

Now, Danny’s world…

Well I have had a cold that began on a day or two after my nieces NewYears Eve wedding. Everyone seems to have it and it takes weeks and boxes of tissues before it leaves. The cough lasts for even longer.

During this time I have had my wife’s 2nd cousin pass away and another friend that has Gleo that I reached out to support and I never received a  response back. I have to assume that the fight is hard and she does not have it in her to call . So, I accept that and  have begun to pray even harder for her and her family. Please pray for A. And her family as well. Thanks

When you are in a situation like I find myself currently ( trying  to start anew ) having pushed myself to get my 5 foot 11″ body to gain a small step forward . I have by the grace of God rallied back every inch of person gain is held sacred to me . And when you  are knocked off stride and  have downtime like a cold that knocks you off your feet . I finding it difficult to get up and go again. When I stop moving my body starts losing strenght and ability quickly. Muscles that took a long time to build and stamina that I was beginning to see return seems to have been lost.

Well cutting to the chase, along with this cold has meant since New Year’s I have been in the house everyday. I have not even attended mass. I have not received confession either.

The point being this, life is rough. Sometimes we have too much time on our hands and  the evil one wants to pull you down. What has been so important to me during this time was the lesson that God and life has taught me over the last nearly 3 years.  That our faith walk and prayer life are  truely life giving, mind saving, and allows God to save us, renew us and give a peace and hope through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

This afternoon as I sat in my chair I received a phone call from a dear friend R. I told her where I was at and how hard it is in this time for me to keep smiling. She has had  her own challenges in this  life too.

R. Spoke words of the heart about my life, what I do to help others, and that the blog was important for many because it expresses the reality of what so many of them are going through.

Those words that R. spoke were not solicited by me. But, where exactly what I needed to hear in that moment and served as a reminder that this blog is about others as well and that as I said if it helps others thats all that truely matters to me.

With those words , I got off the chair and went into the shower. During my shower I sat on my bench and made the water hotter. I wanted to feel. The water was pouring over me and I felt the heat, my sences and body aware of the moment that I was in and the fact that I needed to choose once again to accept this situation as a temporary situationon my road. So, I took that corner and will see where it goes.

Come Holy Spirit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTbJmCTqgkg

I then told God that I am using this water as a reminder of my baptismal water.

Finally I said a prayer and got out of the shower.

You know, I mentioned that I have not gotten out to church in 2 weeks and have not been to confession for even longer than that. It was actually right before Christmas if memory serves me that I made my confession. Sure, I tell God all the time that I am sorry for the stipid stuff I think,say and do. I just love the sacrament of reconciliation.

For me during my shower God met me where I was at and while in prayer  I was given the revelation that although I was in a Spiritual dessert without church and my Holy friends there.

 

 

I came to release that God has been so good to me because my relationship with God is father and son, my relationship to Jesus is he is my brother who saved me and you.

And lastly ,

I have my best friend the Holy Spirit who is many things to me, my counselor, heavenly messanger. The Holy Spirit is capable of only good works, and only teaches us the ways of Heaven.  Amen.

Fernando Ortega – I Need Thee Every Hour

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUXM6pOvkVw

God Bless You,

Danny