Today I am saying Thankyou to my life long friend. This friend knew me before I knew him. He along with my mom and dad helped me to grow,to understand his ways  and to be safe during my early years. He certainly has never left my side even though at times I certainly wandered from his. My friend was at the Alter of the church as my bride Janet and I were wed nearly 30 years ago. But heck why wouldn’t he be , after all he put us together while we were working at the grocery store in our early college years. He knew what we needed before we did.

My friend helped to give me courage as a young married husband to step out of the boat of life onto the water and begin a family business with my brothers knowing by faith that somehow our friend was there in that  moment helping us to make things happen.Our friend wants our success. It’s then that we can help others.

Because of our friend life his creation came forward as my wife Janet and I welcomed our first child Dan Jr. Into the world.

Our Dear friend was with us as we lost our second son at two weeks old  Brad Michael was born with heart disease.  As our beautiful baby Brad Michael was laid to rest, We as a family stood there stunned and broken. By his grave on a beautiful April day we watched the undertaker carry his small casket to our family grave. In our broken condition the things that we clung to was our little boy Danny jr. Who was around 2 AND we felt Our families and  friends arms firmly around us . His passing as the years have taught us was not not in vein nor was his passing our families life long tradgedy You see Brads case opened up all kinds of studies whereas his case was rare at that time. Brad was born with single right ventricle and pulmonary stenosis.  His Doctors and Children’s were so wonderful kind and compassionate. Brads passing also blessed other families and children whereas we donated his organs for other people in need.

God did not make our Brad I’ll. That is due to the inprefection of this world and life we are not in the garden of Eden. That’s why Jesus came to give us hope.

Brad was a special gift that altered our reality of this world and its connection to the next Heavely life. He saved our family. ❌⭕️

Brad changed the depth of our entire families faith. His presence is felt daily in our lives and we love him and he loves us. Love is eternal because it is from God.

We were blessed to welcome 3 more children/ daughters to our family and God was with us in the delivery room and heard the words congratulations you have a beautiful and health beautiful girl too. 🙂

My friend was with me as the doctors told me that I was terminally ill and my friend told me I had cancer, cancer was not from him and I do not own this cancer. My friend set  a peace upon my heart and in my soul that has never left me.

Our friend was with my family as my mom prepared to leave this earthy existence. My mom was talking to Jesus and was talking to his mother Mary  OUR  Blessed mother very shortly before her departure and my mom  was calm as she took our friend, Jesus hand and went to meet her family and friends  who awaited her.My mom is remembered daily , hourly, in the moment and in the second because she is surrounding us with love. Amen.

My friend is with me now in this moment guiding my writing and filling this page with his beauty.

Our  friend is the best friend that you will have or need. This week in my church is a reminder of what our friend Jesus has  done for us it is Palm Sunday, the Passion of our Lord and Savior this day.  This week reminds of that our friend Jesus fulfilled his Earthly life as the only Divine human to ever be born and his destiny if he accepted this cup was to die for mankind/ our sins. He took that cup and that is why we live with the hope that this is in fact act 1 for us as humans.

Thankyou Dear Friend, I love you Jesus. Amen.

Our Friend and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I have come to appreciate in the last 5 years that when you have a personal challenge there is nothing more important that reaching out and advocating for what We perceive that We need. It was not the normal action that I would take in the past I never pushed or asked Anything of anyone. I was self sufficient . When I hit a wall I just excepted what I was told and what the outcome might be . Since Cancer and hearing the terminal word  I just kinda changed my modes operundum I began to try and make things happened and my success that I have achieved has then been shared personally by me with many others in various ways. In life it is not about us only. My feeling is that Gods got me here in this moment to help others to show others what he can do. And I give God all of the glory for my being here in this moment. And, I am very thankful.

If Jesus was all about himself then he would not have taken our sins upon himself nor would he have allowed himself to be tortured and murdered for our benefit.

This song holds a great deal of significance to me. Listen to the words. Look what our Savior has done for us. He is loving and generous indeed.

With the onset of my Cancer which began  4 years ago on 3-31-2012.  I began to realize that if I was to fight this terminal cancer that I needed to push myself so that the establishment whether It be the doctors,hospitals , physical therapist insurance company right down to home care  that was in my home and  in my life that there is but one Author of life and who created all.  That is God. No one knows anything personally except that our God/ higher power if you wish  is the only one who can give you how much time you have to live. He decides. I then had to decide. to open myself up and speak the hope and victory that God had placed in my heart. I then needed to summons the courage and let my voice be heard. Well, because of prayer Gods courage filled me and I was able to speak the words of my heart, my desires and what God had told me in my Spirit. My journey is not merely about me and neither is yours. We are singular yet connected. Quite beautiful really. There is not contest to be won. Just  our personal bests will do and that makes for a life well lived. I believe that God expects us to live joyfully towards that end.

I told the Doctors ” God told me that I have cancer, cancer is not from him and I do not own this cancer “. God gave me the courage to speak those words. God also gave me an unshakable peace that resides within my being to this moment.

My belief is through the Holy Spirit we are given a robust strength,of positive and warm heavenly support that can permeate our disease and return order to our bodies , minds and Spirits to a healthy state.

My journey has taken the medical world and made them say,  why?  How is he florishng so well and healing slowly too? I told them all once again, God.

We are being healed by God’s machines, God’s medicines, And the healing hands of the doctors which are extension of the healing hands of Christ Jesus.

I have pushed the establishment by my self  Advocacy which  has helped other Cancer patients I am sure. I say this not because I am great but because God calls us to live in his hope and to believe that he will do what we cannot. I want others to believe too. Love your neighbor as yourself.

There is joy in every storm. And the rain helps to grow the garden of our lives.

I have won some of my self advocasy attempts easily and won others after waiting months and enduring lots of personal tests. One of these wins was in the restoration of my drivers license. Upon my diagnosis of non surgical Glio Bastoma Multiform grade 4   brain cancer I was required to turn in my license. I was no longer considered to be safe behind the wheel. I had no problem with that. I certainly did not want to hurt anyone. So, I became even more of a passenger in life. I had nurses, a hospice nurse  named Robin here. I was suppose to except this cancer and its lethal outcome after all it was text book. It even took Ted Kennedy. I was essentially given Months to live and was told to get my personal things in order etc.

Well, As time went on and I continued  to leave all of these situations regarding my impending death further behind me in the dash board mirror of my life. I decided after  3 years that I would approached my Dr’s and I said that I wanted to get my license to drive reinstated. My oncologist said I do not see why not and my Primary care Dr. Signed off as well. The Department of motor vehicles  medical division got the paperwork and questioned what? He surrendered that license due to terminal brain cancer. The Dr’s response to them was that Dans not the typical Glio patient. So, I had hours of cognitive testing including  vision , field vision, reflex coordination and the results came back. I passed with flying colors. Finally, I had my road test remember the year 2013-2014 winter? 9 feet of snow. That was the road that I was tested on. Narrow, icy streets and I was driving my wife’s small Suv for the first time that day. The car that I had been practicing on did not have a center console emergency brake so it could not be used in my road test.

My wife was working so my son was now my sponsor and sat in the back seat😀 Life is funny years back I was his back seat as his observer. Lol

Well, the Medical division tester came and got into the car with us and he questioned me on a number of procedures. We were off and the tester told me to pull over and to preform a 3 point turn. He said go ahead if you hit the snow bank don’t worry, the streets are so narrow. I looked at him and said are you kidding me my wife will kill me and we laughed. I completed my test and have been driving again happily for nearly 1 1/2 years. There were times when I was going to give up on the process of getting it back because it was tiring and there were no guarantees.

By Gods grace and my fighting on my dream to drive once again was turned into a reality. I was able to get into my old car and begin my life of service to others. Whether it is to go down to the church and talk to others who are having a difficult time or to visit the sick at the hospital, hospice center or nursing home and bring the Holy Eucharist to them  with a word of encouragement. Not because I am great but because our God is.

He has made my illness into a thing of beauty.  I truly believe that this is the time of Miracles. We need to dare to believe. Trust in God and declare Victory of illness and enjoy your days. Keep laughing and spreading hope.

I believe that my witness in this moment and challenging the powers that be that people do survive these illnesses at least beyond what conventional wisdom might say. Who knows? Only God.

My case has been reviewed and studied by MIT as well as a prominent Dr. From China.

Gods showing everyone that he very much in the moment with us. He loves us and wants us to be in relationship with us so he can help us.

God Bless You,

Danny

First off, Let me say this….. This writing was started on 2-21-16 and completed today 2-29-16. So a little time has elapsed but that is how it needed to be.

2-21-2016

I have not written a whole lot in the past few weeks. Their has been a lot going on. Fortunately those things have been good. I am learning as I move forward that we should not just bury a feeling or emotion. We need to decern what is going on within our mind and emotions  and exercise and test them . We can sabotage our  emotional health and the healing of our bodies by allowing negative thoughts to alter the moment we are in. This week I joined the next LIvestrong class as a visitor whereas I have already completed the Y Livestrong program this past Nov . I felt blessed that I was allowed to be with the new class of  cancer patients and survivors. I guess I am the mascot lol

I arrived at the Y this morning and the Livestrong program was already in progress. The trainers were working with the patients on the machines. What they did was to demonstrate to their new patients/ clients the  proper positions to take while working with their bodies on those machines to increase the value of the workout and preventing further injury to the individuals. The trainers then gave them their preliminary starting weights that they should use to help to build their muscle etc.  I upon seeing them working with the new bees made my way to the  special bike that work on. This bikes works great  with my left side issues. I sat down and began my workout I rode that bike for 1/2 hour. The trainer Dan had his eye on me as did Trish the second trainer and Dan indicated that he wanted to take me to a couple of the press machines for my arms and legs. We made it through the arm workout. Dan assisting with the amount of weight put on my left arm so I would not make a bad situation worse. After we finished that I asked Dan to stretch my left side  I had not been stretched since The beginning of Dec when my physical therapy coverage was fully exhausted. The stretching definitely effects my mobility and healing it is something that I cannot live without.

You see going back to that program as a guest was a Miracle in itself. I had gone in a couple of  weeks ago just to sign up for a regular membership the Y allowed me to keep the membership month  by month because I like many cancer patients do not know what tomorrow will bring. So, for me I did not want to be locked into a year membership when there is always the possibility that I may have to stop again at any given moment.

When  you don’t work or should I say are unable to work I feel guilty in any purchase that I make. I need to justify and test the need before I do.

I just picked up this writing today again the was started last week and I am continuing it now  the date now is 2-29-2016.

It’s  intersting that I wrote about controlling our minds and emotions above on this page and when I was finally drawn back to this blog today I had a personal moment today that challenged me on both fronts.

I went to get of bed today and I sat up a little quicker than I normally do on the edge of the bed and my head swam and I got dizzy. It took a few moments for me to stand up and to move towards my bath. I remained a little unsteady and nervous and then the situation was over.

Given my past history with brain cancer I had some terrible falls due to my cancer I would literally spin and find myself on the ground. My first response was to say God the cancer is back. But I then stopped looked in the mirror and began to test how I looked, my mobility and said to myself, get a grip.

I was thinking to myself there are plenty of other reasons why a person could be light headed besides brain cancer. I got ready and did not make any sudden movements with my head that would make myself dizzy.

I had my breakfast and felt fine I even did a few chores where I did bend and move my head and I was fine. Praise God.

when I finally was set to go I headed out to my dads and brought him our lunch and we spent time talking and I was able to give him the Holy Eucharist. Later we went in and put the television and spent time laughing at an old show that was on😀

It was fun at one point, I was sitting there fogging out I guess and my dad said is there something wrong? You look worried. I reassured him that I was just tired which I was.

My youngest brother came and as did my sister just popped in on her lunch time to see my dad. We were talking and laughing and my sister stopped and said are you okay ? I said yes why ?  I will tell you something I did feel fine but I was tired. They are so close to me that they just knew through their Spirits that there was dis- ease in me today because of what happened this morning.

please, please, if something out of the norm happens to you physically do not go negative it allows unhealthy worries or thoughts to envade your thoughts. That triggers stress, and stress causes Dis-ease in our bodies which then can manifest itself as Disease that we need to fight. Amen.

keep me in your prayers please, I will do the same for you all 🙂

I have the Livestrong program tomorrow and I will be visiting 2 separate nursing facilities to visit and bring the Holy Eucharist to friends who are not well. One is a dear friend with Glio like I have battled.

God Bless You,

Danny